|Reviews for Ogre Battle: March of the Black Queen|
| beastmodehawaii chapter 30 . 1/30/2015
Impressive. Bravo whitefangofwar! I have been held captive by your story for the greater part of these few weeks.
I remember playing this game years ago and enjoyed the story line and the cast of characters. I always knew that it works have made a great novel.
But you have gone and surpassed my expectation of how this story could play out in text. I personally like how you incorporated Destin's changing personality and internal struggle with similar usages of him in the game and game play (Ex. Different attacks pending his starting alignment).
You have done a great job in describing and characterizing the other characters as well. I have developed a more sincere appreciation of this original story because of your adaptation
I only feel saddened that with the busyness and adult responsibilities of life I can no longer find the time to play it anymore, but I have been blessed to relive the experience in your story. Thank You!
I know you as well are busy with fulfilling your own dreams and responsibilities but if you still have any more motivation for completing this story, I extoll you to please complete your story. You are almost there. And I along with many others have enjoyed your writing and are sitting at the edge if our chairs waiting for the culmination and finale of your version if the ogre battle.
I for one would be willing to even pay to see its completion.
Nonetheless, Thank you on all your hard work you have put in to write this story. You have done an amazing job.
| Angelalex242 chapter 1 . 10/4/2013
Oh, a couple other things I'd like to see:
Destin getting Brunhild back. I always have it equipped on the Opinion Leader in my game. Even if he's not using Physical attacks, it feels like it's HIS sword now. Proof of who he is, and so on. I'd also like to see him permanently welcome on the Sky Islands, as the gods 'deem him worthy' of being up there whenever he so chooses to be.
Warren Moon shouldn't stay dead. Recall the most powerful type of mage is a Lich...
And if Saradin at least became a Sorcerer, if not a Lich himself (perhaps he gets killed in battle too, only to RISE AGAIN), that'd be cool too. Wonder how people would react to seeing the best mages of the rebels becoming undead...
At least one Vampyre should join the party at some point. You could use Angel (of Buffy the Vampire Slayer) as a prototype for the kind of Vampyre the rebels could like having around.
I guess I'm saying I'd like to see one of each creature type available in the world in the rebel army at one point or another.
| Angelalex242 chapter 29 . 10/3/2013
I'd like to see Fogel get around his curse somehow. It just feels wrong to not have the great trio of Sky Knights working as one. So however you manage it, see if you can get Fogel back down on the ground. Maybe 'the gods command he fight for mortals to fix his mistakes.
Interesting choice to make Deneb, of all people, Destin's girlfriend.
It'd be interesting, ya know, if there'd been a little more flirting between Rauny and Destin...there IS an ending where he marries her, (Heirophant) after all. I wonder what Tristan would think if Destin ever had THAT dream in his head? Heh heh heh...to say nothing of how DENEB would feel!
| Reiko Silveron chapter 29 . 9/7/2013
Hm, I would say, 'just seven?' except that your seven probably equal around double that, if not more, for most other people's stories. I'm still impressed with how your weaving the elements of this story together. There's a lot to see ahead, and for someone who never progressed more than a tenth through the game...there's a lot of things to learn. That being said, its the weaving of the characters and their fates I fear I'll be watching most of all. You've done a great job with your work, and showed a dedication most don't, myself included.
| Guest chapter 28 . 8/20/2013
Predictable? Hardly, or at least not for me, but then I'm not always the brightest soul anyways. Interesting is the best word to describe the character, and the way that Saradim was handled made for a powerful scene. The fight with Fogel was well done as well, and in general everything worked well, in my opinion. Nicely done.
| Nightshade X chapter 27 . 7/25/2013
Thought I'd marked this to be followed ages ago- could've sworn I'd left at least one review as well.
This will be brief as, by the date, I'd wager it's been at least two years since I -really- read through the start, so I can hardly comment on the piece as a whole, but aside from at times when it feels a bit more like an action movie than a war story I really enjoy the piece.
Not that I think they aren't particularity well done or anything like that, it's just not really my 'cup of tea' at times. I believe you spoke on the influences of your other story at one point, though.
As for real thoughts on the story. I like the way you've handled the characters for the most part- not exactly as I think I would have, but to each their own.
I will say that I hope your decision to hold off on the development of the minor leaders in the army doesn't write them all but out of the rest of the journey. I understand the need to see a project to the end, but at a glance I believe I only saw one of them even mentioned in passing, I hope that's not all that's left for them now.
The main cast isn't small, I know, but it just seems a shame to have what were prominent members of the army fade away.
Regardless, though, good luck the rest of the way.
| Reiko Silveron chapter 26 . 7/1/2013
Its good to see the story update again, and I'll agree that its been a time since I've given the story a read, but it was nice to see all the information presented again, and to have some bits brought back to lay before us again. It was good to see what I still remembered, and what all I'd forgotten, and I fear there's more of the later. Regardless, you're still writing on an excellent story, and doing an excellent job with it. The chapters are long, but full, and worth the read. I thank you for putting in the work, and will wait to see the rest of it as we get there.
While I regret seeing that the OC's are no longer quite as much of a focus, I understand your sentiments about them dragging down the plot. For someone who never got far in the original game, I'll admit the difference in the OCs and the main characters...were rather minute, due to never knowing who the games threw at us, and who you gave to us, as all were well written, and helped to expand the world and the story you delivered upon.
That being said, I will look forward to seeing how you choose to continue this work of art, and shall attempt to continue popping in and reading your updates. Good luck.
| Spiritblade chapter 26 . 6/21/2013
I have been waiting a long time for this. The end approaches, and the Empire trembles. An request, brother, if I may? Why not an interlude where the main characters are the people and soldiers of the Empire and Zenobia, speaking about its leaders and the state of affairs?
| TW chapter 25 . 3/22/2013
Oh, how interesting, how fascinating, how wonderful! I can't believe someone thought to do this - and actually has a chance of doing so! I'm impressed, very impressed. More than that - I enjoyed this immensely. I think one of the most important things for all those who create is feedback, so to break the stillness I'm going to leave you a review. It might be long-winded, but I value text; hopefully you shall as well.
Your novelization does well both in keeping characters true to their inspirations, while not falling into the trap of attempting to keep everything the same as it was. Status quo is a quiet death, and by including references to other realms and possibility, you have created more fuel for future possible works, more possibility than a straight 'x went here, y died, z was recruited' ever could have done.
On that note... My favorite character you've done here must be the witch in pink. It appears that the maxim 'all witches know one another' remains true. So many comments, both simple and multi-faceted... She never fails to bring a smile to my face. Similarly in terms of complexity is that certain knight; whom I never particularly cared for but find myself strangely affectionate to this time, even empathic towards. Less empathic am I towards the seer, and that too is a work of good character-building.
This is in addition to those who are new to this telling. You have a knack for both managing to use concise moments of character building to interest the reader, and capturing the feel - the amazingly epic, yet personal feel - the game did. Though it was not an army I was familiar with on starting this story - I grew to feel as I have known the cast involved for some time. Excellent work.
My recommendations for the day are Drakengard, rich black tea that tastes more bitter than sweet, and dreams without sleep. Your card is the Eight of Pentacles. Should you complete this, I shall be very happy indeed. Should your endeavors turn elsewhere, it has been a pleasure to read this far. All the best, then.
| Spiritblade chapter 25 . 1/23/2013
I look forward to seeing the next chapter. You...are doing very well.
| Alastair Bramhall chapter 1 . 8/17/2012
Dang it looks legit! There are so many people writing half baked fanfics nowadays it's hard to find a good one, I look foward to reading this although I plan to play the game along with it to keep things real.
| The Ultimate Chimera Bloodline chapter 1 . 5/24/2012
Well, well...finally get to see what the first game is about. Only played Ogre Battle 64. Thanks for novelizing this, hope it's good.
| yuukochan chapter 23 . 9/25/2011
I'm a brazilian fan of ogre battle, and i just discovered your fic. You made a wonderful history, congratulations!
I was planning make my own version, but i dont have a lot of idea, could you give me some tips?
| Graff chapter 23 . 9/4/2011
Still reading, still excellent. Keep up the good work
| Reiko Silveron chapter 22 . 8/20/2011
True, concernign the Ivalice connection. I suppose I recalled you mentioning Ivalice, and I knew Tactics Ogre had Zodiac Stones, and that Zodiac Stones were linked with Lucavi/Scions/etc in Ivalice. The connection between the three, makes sense, and yet it wasn't a connection I linked before I read this. The description of the Vanity class, along with demons DOES make it a rather sound connector...considering how the fight with Zalera plays out in Final Fantasy Tactics.
I made the mistake of reading this yesterday before I had to take care of some errands, and so I'm having to hope my review is even somewhat helpful/makes sense, though looking at it now, its grown a bit long...
Antanjyl was well shown still in this chapter, and the shifting of it was an interesting notion to continue observing. Watching the scene with Destin was never a scene I expected to see, but watching it all the same was something captivating as I could only wonder at what the end result would be. I admit, the result that was gained, by far and away, was a moment I won't soon be forgetting. It was written well, and just watching him come to action later in the chapter was awesome. It was like seeing a character be revived in a plausible manner. How you made the entire thing feel believable is something I don't understand, but how you've handled Destin still continues to feel like a believable chain of events. Awesome job.
The fights with both Galf and Gares were also scenes worth reading, and there was never any questioning of either's power. Of the two, I admit I preffered the end of Gares's own, if only becauase it was a culmination of everything that had occured thus far. Of the two, Galf was by far, and away, the one I prefferred because at least he was bound to Antanjyl, a place that might serve well for Gares actually considering all the destruction he's planning.
If, for whatever reason, Gares ever became trapped down in Antanjyl, I could almost see him becoming another Galf, but as they both are, right now it would almost feel more like a Garland-Chaos(FF1/Dissidia) feeling than anything. Galf definitely came across as straight-forward as you desired because he spoke like a ruler who was forced to deal with irritants who he had no reason to fear while Gares came across as a man of arrogance who's power was definitely without question. Perhaps its just how his aura came across, or how he managed the Sky Knights, but he definetly came across as the larger threat. His intent, and the fact that he purposely went against all orders, is like a harbinger of sour news. I cannot foresee him dying now; however, if he did I would have to feel the world itself would be much safer. If he lives through the battle(like he probably will), well that's a future battle, a future attack, that could have an even worse idea behind it. Though I have to question what would be more destructive than his current idea.
Once again you've written a highly interesting chapter to read, and you've done well with the world and the characters within so that even an outsider like myself (Who knows nothing of anything that happened past Avalon except from what I've read here) can connect to. I've always liked how you've used casualties, and how even well-liked characters were people who could die as easily, if not more easily, than other characters. Just another aspect that helps your story remain believable. Well done so far, and looking forward to the next chapter.