Reviews for The Monster Within
odiejae chapter 1 . 6/28/2012
wow, what a fantastic story! i agree with jasper, if it had been at another time in his life then maybe they could've had something more. but jasper did the right thing, stayed focused and protected his family. great job!
coolbreeeze chapter 1 . 9/23/2010
Love love love love

I liked the twist of Jasper actually staying with Alice...a lot of times, the lust goes over the relationship, but in this case, Jasper really was in complete control. I think it was a brilliant idea to play on the vamp/canon passionate Jasper and quirk it just so to make him bi...(which to be honest, I feel like if you live that long, curiosity would come into play) and use it against Victoria/Riley. Not to mention, the outdoor sex...UNFFF! I liked the commanding tone Jasper took over Riley while he took him in the clearing. Very, very nice work 3 Good luck in the contest!
TwiAggie94 chapter 1 . 9/22/2010
Wow that was a different way to solve the newborn problem. I liked it. It fit jazz well.
ArcadianMaggie chapter 1 . 9/19/2010
Harsh for poor Riley, but what a way to go, eh? ;-) I enjoyed your story. Good luck in the contest!
clairdeluneisgreat chapter 1 . 9/2/2010
this was dark and sexy and I just loved it.
Nisa Cullen chapter 1 . 8/31/2010
wow great read!
OnTheTurningAway chapter 1 . 8/29/2010
I think I love everything about this Jasper. He's strong, confident and determined to do what needs to be done. Even on top of that though, he allows himself to revert to the vamp he used to be - animalistic, luring Riley into giving him what he desires, using his gift as a tool to reach the desired result. Guh...so sexy and powerful. What makes this really fantastic is that he let himself go there for the benefit of his family - and then was able to pull himself back into his "Cullen" persona after the deed was done.

As much as I'm all about the slash and wish it could have ended differently for Riley, it never could have worked that way in the framework of this story. Instead, Riley gets the f*ck of his life before Jasper rips his freaking head off. All things considered, that was quite a fantastic way to go!
Mischief Howl chapter 1 . 8/29/2010
I liked it but felt sorry for little Riley in the end. You write good! Great great story!
Zigster chapter 1 . 8/28/2010
One of the sexiest things about Jasper is that he'd give up his natural instincts as a fighter and a creature that acts on impulse and would bury it for the love of his life. He's good because he wants to be. Alice doesn't make him, but he tries for her, and shit, that act of selflessness is sofa king amazing. It's swoon worthy. I just swoon thinking about it.

That sense of want to do good for others around him was totally captured in this. It's not necessarily a sacrifice that he got to boink the eff out of a beautiful boy in the middle of a forest for a few hours, but the fact that he had to be the one silence him, kill him in the first place, and that he agreed for the better of his family and his wife was "aw" inducing. I know that's weird. Saying aw at such a dark piece of fic'telling, but Jasper holds a lot in. It's amazing to see it come out, and even more incredible to see him bottle it up again. All for Alice. *sigh*

Lucky vamp.

And dude, I know Riely kinda got screwed in this (literally) by getting axed the second after Jasper finished with him, but if you're gonna have to get assassinated, I mean, I think this is the preferred option. I'm assuming anyways. lol.
cinnamin chapter 1 . 8/28/2010
Holy S**t! That was seriously harsh of Jasper to kill him after all that hot sex. But, it was still amazing smut. I liked your jasper. Very manly.
vampireisthenewblack chapter 1 . 8/28/2010
I love that Jasper fucked Riley and then decapitated him. This is win.