Reviews for Aberration
J.F.C chapter 5 . 10/7/2010
I forgot to sing in, I'm actually the writer of this message.

(MOST IMPORTANT) What do you want to see in this story's future? Or to be a bit more specific, what don't you want to see? Is there something that you've always wanted to see in an OC story, or something that you've seen in other stories that you absolutely despise? I'd hate to make the same mistake, after all.

Well this idea came up to me a few hours ago, as it can perfectly be used in your story. Anyways, how about you make this sudden changes in the Naruto universe be noticeable in our actual world, as Naruto fans start to notice this sudden appearance of a young woman in the past chapters of Naruto's already written manga, and from there the manga's actual format scenes starts to change...making the fans to turn out hysterical and surprised about this.

Well this idea came out from me as it can be perfectly connected with this other idea of mine. After four years of her friend's disappearance, Paige is now trying to continue with her life as she is now entering college. Since Rae's sudden disappearance she hasn't touched or read any of Naruto's manga. In fact, she has stopped reading any kinds of Manga's as this would immediately remind her of Rae. Any times she would hear of Manga she would be reminded of her friend's love for Manga, especially of Naruto's manga, and of the last time she had actually seen Rae, which was on the day before Rae's disappearance, as they were on her house...watching another of Naruto's episodes.

Paige has stopped reading manga a long time as it would remind her of her friend's. She is now trying to continue with her life, as she tries to forget about her friend and try to leave a normal life in college.

Paige had entered a class of hers, as she was now resting on her seat, waiting for the teacher to come While she was resting on her seat, she managed to hear three classmates talking about a Manga. As she listened to the conversation more and more, she discovered that they were talking about Naruto's manga and the sudden appearance of a new character in the already written first season of the manga. Changing a lot of the original scenes since the appearance of the new character, the three boys were asking themselves of why would kishimoto change the original scenes, adding this new character in the process.

As she heard the conversation of the boys, she couldn't stop herself for been surprised as she hadn't heard of that manga for like almost five years. She couldn't believe that her once's favorite manga was suffering changes, as apparently the author was rewriting the story since the very beginning.

The surprise that Paige got after hearing those boys only got worse as she started to hear the description the boys were giving about this new character. As she continued to listen the descriptions about this new character, she couldn't stop herself of been reminded about her friend. The description of this character was starting to get more and more closer and similar to her missing friend. After listening for a while, she couldn't stop herself from asking those boys about this new character.

Paige eyes widened after seeing the picture that the boys had given her of this new character. "...Rae."

Well that's it. This is my idea of Paige actually discovering where her friend is, and wanting to find away of rescuing and getting her friend out of Naruto's universe. Of course at first she wouldn't believe that the character would actually be Rae, but as she continues to read more of Naruto's changed chapters she couldn't stop herself of accepting that this was actually her friend. Especially after Inoichi's interrogation were she could actually see herself in those images, watching the original Naruto series with Rae.
Guest chapter 5 . 10/7/2010
(MOST IMPORTANT) What do you want to see in this story's future? Or to be a bit more specific, what don't you want to see? Is there something that you've always wanted to see in an OC story, or something that you've seen in other stories that you absolutely despise? I'd hate to make the same mistake, after all.

Well this idea came up to me a few hours ago, as it can perfectly be used in your story. Anyways, how about you make this sudden changes in the Naruto universe be noticeable in our actual world, as Naruto fans start to notice this sudden appearance of a young woman in the past chapters of Naruto's already written manga, and from there the manga's actual format scenes starts to change...making the fans to turn out hysterical and surprised about this.

Well this idea came out from me as it can be perfectly connected with this other idea of mine. After four years of her friend's disappearance, Paige is now trying to continue with her life as she is now entering college. Since Rae's sudden disappearance she hasn't touched or read any of Naruto's manga. In fact, she has stopped reading any kinds of Manga's as this would immediately remind her of Rae. Any times she would hear of Manga she would be reminded of her friend's love for Manga, especially of Naruto's manga, and of the last time she had actually seen Rae, which was on the day before Rae's disappearance, as they were on her house...watching another of Naruto's episodes.

Paige has stopped reading manga a long time as it would remind her of her friend's. She is now trying to continue with her life, as she tries to forget about her friend and try to leave a normal life in college.

Paige had entered a class of hers, as she was now resting on her seat, waiting for the teacher to come While she was resting on her seat, she managed to hear three classmates talking about a Manga. As she listened to the conversation more and more, she discovered that they were talking about Naruto's manga and the sudden appearance of a new character in the already written first season of the manga. Changing a lot of the original scenes since the appearance of the new character, the three boys were asking themselves of why would kishimoto change the original scenes, adding this new character in the process.

As she heard the conversation of the boys, she couldn't stop herself for been surprised as she hadn't heard of that manga for like almost five years. She couldn't believe that her once's favorite manga was suffering changes, as apparently the author was rewriting the story since the very beginning.

The surprise that Paige got after hearing those boys only got worse as she started to hear the description the boys were giving about this new character. As she continued to listen the descriptions about this new character, she couldn't stop herself of been reminded about her friend. The description of this character was starting to get more and more closer and similar to her missing friend. After listening for a while, she couldn't stop herself from asking those boys about this new character.

Paige eyes widened after seeing the picture that the boys had given her of this new character. "...Rae."

Well that's it. This is my idea of Paige actually discovering where her friend is, and wanting to find away of rescuing and getting her friend out of Naruto's universe. Of course at first she wouldn't believe that the character would actually be Rae, but as she continues to read more of Naruto's changed chapters she couldn't stop herself of accepting that this was actually her friend. Especially after Inoichi's interrogation were she could actually see herself in those images, watching the original Naruto series with Rae.
chobits909 chapter 2 . 10/7/2010
sounds great! i just read the first chappie and am about to read the second one and this is a REALLY original idea and i am loving it to DEATH right now! keep it up!
J.F.C chapter 6 . 10/6/2010
Amazing story so far, I really love how you have portrayed a girl from our time into Naruto's universe. Oh well, I hope you update soon.
Orannis4 chapter 6 . 10/6/2010
Dang i was hopeing he would have seen how he was going to die. But i have to say it was a good chapter none the less. I cant wait to see more. Your fan orannis4
Mesonoxian chapter 6 . 10/6/2010
Oh my gosh...this is an awesome fic!
Chibi chapter 6 . 10/6/2010
I can't really think of anything to say other than next chapter please?
Kixtink chapter 6 . 10/5/2010
O/OU

I was just kidding when I said that, most authors don't really pay mind to those kinds of comments and I just like seeing if I get a response out of them ... I really didn't think that you would take it seriously (though it is nice to know you’re one of those authors that takes things to heart).

But anyway, holy hell, this chapter made me as happy as a lark ~

I can’t wait to see how Rae impacts the storyline, better yet I can’t wait to see how show reacts to Sai and Yamato (and I wonder what’s gonna happen to Team 7 since Naruto gave up on Sakura). But enough pondering, I have an AP English test to study for, good luck on your writings!
Kakashifan727 chapter 6 . 10/4/2010
Never tried it. Don't listen to music much. And where did go? I'm scared you went into the Narutoverse yourself Rin-chan XD.

YES OCXKakashi! WOOOT!
luckykas chapter 6 . 10/4/2010
This is developing in to a really interesting story. Really nice to see how you integrated an underpowered OC into the Naruto story. Its quite interesting to see how single person can impact Naruto's development.

Rae is a fan of Naruto then she knows the chakra control exercises right? Even if she maintains that she is a civilian, she could point him in the right direction. "Hey Naruto I saw a ninja standing on the wall today, how do they do it?" Naruto would pester Iruka at least to find out.

Rae was quick to look for Icha-Icha, wouldn't she also be intrigued by seals? Being a civilian, she may not be able to power them, but she might be able to understand some theory behind them or at least try to. Seals are bound to be her only chance to get back home. So she would have motivation. Not sure how accessible the literature on seals would be to her though.

Anyways, love the story so far. Thank you for the big updates, look forward to more.
Fk306 chapter 6 . 10/4/2010
this is great I look forward to more
kenegi chapter 6 . 10/4/2010
i got a question will orochimaru be interested with Rae due to being alive while having no chakara 'cause in their world as you said people can't live with out chakara. so oro might think no chakara no death from chakara exhoustion.
silk345 chapter 6 . 10/4/2010
You're a genius. I've just discovered this fic, like, 2h ago and I absolutely love it. Your main charaters is awesome and acts like a normal person, which just doesn't happend that often in the rest of Naruto's fandom. I also write very well. Congrats! I can't wait for the next chapter.
Anonymous chapter 6 . 10/4/2010
I always assumed Kakashi would be the love interest since he and Naruto have had almost no interaction and he is listed as the second character.

It is pretty common in these type of OC stories. Not that I'll complain about it.

Since things are changing, and she should have realized they would, she should consider what else to change.

Does Sarutobi need to die? If he knows what is coming and where he can counter it before it happens.

For instance the invasion would be much less damaging if they were aware of it.

Orochimaru would waste a lot of chakra trying to summon the three dead Hokage if someone got rid of the sacrifices. They know where she knows where they are after all. He summons them from below.

Knowing where the battle will happen traps can be placed in advance.

As for Naruto just telling him about the shadow clone would improve him greatly.

I think Tsunade should still be brought back if Sarutobi lives. She should emphasize that.

One thing that surprised me was that she didn't mention that Naruto was the child of prophecy.

Even if Jiraiya never mentioned it to his sensei it would be easy for him to confirm the prophecy.

Also since we are so close to it what does she plan to do about Haku? Meeting him was pivotal to Naruto and his development. Does she still let him die or warn someone and try to save Haku?

That might not be a change worth making considering how difficult it would be to arrange without at least letting Kakashi in on things.

Simple changes that would vastly improve Naruto include telling him about the memory transfer, wind element training, simple leaf cutting with shadow clones and chakra control.

All are simple to explain given the manga or anime description of training.

Given what he will be facing an edge would be a good thing.

Now that the Hokage knows letting him know a few details wouldn't hurt either.

A quick list of the Akatsuki and what they can do, especially Madara, would be a huge advantage.

If Asuma knew about Hidan he wouldn't have had to die. Decapitation should have been a kill after all.

Yes, Naruto is changing and his increase in power would change things even more but the important things about Naruto haven't changed and wouldn't with this.

Naruto is a ninja of his world, would do anything for his friends and never gives up.

That's not going to change if he gets a little more power.

On the other hand the resentment from Sasuke would probably start sooner. As soon as Naruto started winning fights he couldn't he started to obsess over it in both the anime and manga.

Although the fact that Naruto beat Haku didn't bother him. It didn't really start until Naruto beat Gaara and that was after the curse seal.

So maybe he would not react so badly this time.

Rae could also encourage Naruto to train with Sasuke. Sasuke did ask Naruto about tree climbing. So he might agree to train and Naruto could help him out without be obvious about it.

This turned into a rather long review but it was a long chapter.
hydrianway1013 chapter 6 . 10/4/2010
Nice chapter,

good idea with the no charka thing (IMHO).

Though, given that Rae already affects the timeline?

She just might help Naruto.

Simply tell Naruto about the memory aspect of shadow clones

to get his control up to specs, if you do not wnat to give

him a blow-by-blow description of the Rasengan...prior to

Jiraiyashowing up.

Would be a good trump card to have on ahnds, when hes facing

Haku/zabuzua in Wave.

Orochimaru would pawn him one way or another, of copruse,

but it would mean to make time - so Narutos not tapping

into the Kyuubi chakra so early and at leats delays theseal degredation.

Otzherwise...going nuts by the time Shippuden rolls

around, with the Seal detoriating and all.

Minor note - if you ever get to the point of Pein dropping

by, what about Rae stopping his ramppage with a question

(like asking why hes not founding the damn United Nations,

if he truly wants world peace, or something like that!).

Kay, thats just me getting overly active.

But still.

Would be a nice curveball, nevermind the whole ninja people going WTF at a helpless civvie saving the day with a wee bit

of common sense...well. Assumin Nagto doesnt freak and

kill her on the spot, making Naruto go Nine Tails All The

Way from outrage.

KAy, bad idea...my bad.

Hope you update soon!
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