Reviews for The Return
Supreme Commander chapter 2 . 5/3/2013
i really like the story i would like to find out more
BewilderedFemale chapter 1 . 1/24/2013
Hey, this is pretty good, you should totally write a Star Trek fic!
LornaWinters chapter 1 . 9/10/2012
Hey Tex,

No, you didn't offend me. As I said in my notes for the chapter before last that I posted, I'm taking a sabbatical from PMs, collaborations, etc., so that I can focus on the important things in my life that I've been neglecting lately. Thanks in advance for your understanding,

ByaSouthernLady
jack.burginjr chapter 1 . 7/5/2012
update this story i am hooked on it
Guest chapter 3 . 7/5/2012
you are all a bunch of babies.
Olaf74 chapter 1 . 9/10/2011
*removes his Jaw from the floor*

BLOODY HELL!

You are full of surprises! In the positive turn i mean.

Please continue the story very very soon.
ME chapter 2 . 5/11/2011
Top Notch!
Hawki chapter 2 . 2/28/2011
-He after all this time, of spending on just planning, and very long preparation, that he would finish the job they started more than forty years ago against man.

...oh grammar, how you are missed...

-"In a few days masters will bow to their children as we rise above them."

Should be "the masters." Also the writing is a bit awkward in context-the section (and a short one at that, which makes the alternation all the more jarring) starts off as passive narrative, but now it's as if it's showing Cavil's thoughts directly. Usually there'd be italics or something similar for this.

-In a few day's humanity will fall, and finally die.

-And the Cylon's will rise to unstoppable glory.

In both cases, the apostrophe isn't needed.

-Having done some research between reviews, I'm guessing that the idea of 'Atlantis' being here stems from the proposed 'Battlestar Atlantis' revival for the original series. Kudos for that, but I still feel that something is missing-I did notice the UESS designation, which was also present in 'Earth Defense,' but I think there really needs to be a statement somewhere about the nature of the AU.

-Moving on, there's some more alternation between past and present tense in this section, along with grammar issues. The presence of a holographic AI with a holotank...well, both terms automatically translate as material from 'Halo' in my mind, backed up by the UESC and by extension, 'Marathon'. It seems like something Colonials would be hesitant to use and in itself, not that much more advanced, if at all, from the holobands and holographic avatars which were in use pre-war. Again, this seems to be an AU, including aspects of the original series (Earth, in this case, being from said series rather than either of the Earths from the re-imagined series).

-In essence, this fic strikes me as having potential, in regards to mixing elements from both the first and re-imagined series. However, it's still iffy as to where the canon actually stands.
Hawki chapter 1 . 2/28/2011
-Should be written as forty-eight. There's some alternation between this early on.

-"Or Lose to the Cylons already."

"Lose" shouldn't be capitalized, sentence should end in a question mark rather than a full stop.

-"Was home still their?"

Should be "theirs"

-Not sure how the 'Atlantis' could be on Earth for over forty years, given the residual radiation, but I'm willing to give it the benefit of the doubt.
Olaf74 chapter 2 . 11/28/2010
*removes his Jaw from the floor*

BLOODY HELL!

You are full of surprises! In the positive turn i mean.

Please continue the story very very soon.
Just some guy chapter 2 . 11/20/2010
I like it. Looking forward to the next update.
Marisaresyahoo.com chapter 2 . 9/1/2010
Personally I think I like where this story could go far more than siege breaker. No offence to that story of course but this just seems like it has so much to tell and so much to still show us. I would concentrate on this I do believe but it's up to you
ShadowCub chapter 2 . 8/31/2010
Did I miss something?

Is this a sequel?
bladefax chapter 2 . 8/31/2010
A great story premise...I look forward to more.

Here's a suggestion

you have some sentence fragements and logic problems

Reread what you have typed before your post it, make sure you make sense.
monbade chapter 2 . 8/31/2010
interesting start

mon
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