Reviews for The Last Star |
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![]() ![]() ![]() good |
![]() ![]() ![]() Sadly another interesting story goes unfinished. |
![]() ![]() Great story and chapters. Jennifer Baratta |
![]() ![]() ![]() Please keep writing this storey |
![]() ![]() ![]() Great read hope to see more |
![]() ![]() ![]() Of course, if Jankowski had been a little more courageous or a little more dedicated to his oath, he'd have removed a domestic enemy of the constitution. Dying in the act of doing so is about the best death an active duty soldier can hope for - and who knows? He might have fought his way free. Instead he chose to abandon his duty a third time and shot himself. |
![]() ![]() WHY?! THIS STORY COULD BE AWESOME! AND WHY END IT HERE! *sobs* |
![]() ![]() ![]() "learn what I teach and leave this facility wit the knowledge and skill " - *with " and yet it had made difference whatsoever" - missing punctuation at the end. "no one expected it to be attacked and picquet ships had not been properly posted." - *picket "The loss of the highest rated Naval officer in the Force had been a crushing blow to moral" - *morale In a more general sense, your sentence structure needs some work. There's several places, especially where Drill Sergeant Garibaldi is talking, where you've got horribly run-on sentences that should be broken up. Also with dialog, the whole conversation between Garibaldi, Cliff, and Barb, you have interjections ("Garibaldi said," for example) that are written as seperate sentences. They should have commas at the end of the dialog and be treated as part of that sentence. |
![]() ![]() ![]() good story so far, but its been almost 1 year and half since the last update, i hope this story is not dead,that you continue, that new sahips with better armour and shileds developed by earth that make the minv~bari talk of cease fire, and a peace treaty |
![]() ![]() ![]() You know that you probably should upload the remaining chapters that you've done for this fic. An excellent job all the same with what you've done here. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Fantastic Sequel to TDW and Badly needed as the Babylon 5 film ITB was so very poor. Have to wonder though after waiting for nearly a year for chapter 7, is the author still alive. Hope so, as this is a work that wants to be finished. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Damn great fic, hope you continue it someday. Really want to know how things will play out. |
![]() ![]() Great I hope thers a update soon. Maybe you can do a Centauri/Orieni,s war? |
![]() ![]() Just noticed this story ( loved The Dilgar War, figured I'd read what else you had up, glad I did ) Loving this first chapter, great telling of the events of the Minbari war, and shows your writing is as awesome as ever. Though I'm kinda hoping this might go AU, with Earth at least being able to do more than just fight a losing standing action against the Minbari, being saved by Dues Ex Machina more than anything in the end. Any way this goes though, I figure it'll be a helluva good read; you have great characterization and plot flow and (IMHO) don't really fall into the trap of info-dump. Instead you tend to show rather than tell. Gonna go see what kinda awesome the other chapters hold now. |
![]() ![]() Oh, thank you! I was wondering how and when you might appear with a follow-on to TDW and after several months away I find you've started one. Great foundation, interesting mix of recognizable and new characters and a good appreciation of the situation that Earth finds itself in in 2247. I hope that you will have another block of chapters to post soon and thank you most sincerely for this excellent start. Matt |