|Reviews for To Mend a Butterfly's Broken Wing|
| Guest chapter 16 . 1/3/2014
See - thats why your story sucks. You write one thing and say something different in the notes. You said BELLA started it in your story, she grabbed Jake. Granted Jake didnt run away BUT BELLA STARTED IT. Youre a little looney - you know that right? Stop explaining everything in the notes PUT IT IN THE STORY OR STOP WRITING!
| Guest chapter 15 . 1/3/2014
What step in the right direction. Same old bullshit. Bella gets into trouble. Jake saves her. Business as usual. So what step? IT SUCKS!
| Guest chapter 14 . 1/3/2014
This story sucks big time. You have characters acting completely OOC. You try and justify your poor plot in the authors notes instead of the story. Thats not the way it wotks. You have your characters doinf stuff that is not believable. Bella syas shes dating so she doesnt hurt Jake. The nshe sees how hurt jake is and that the relationship is now on the way to being ruined. What does she do? Goes anyway. Comes back from the date and instead of at least establishing some boundaries? Nope jumps into the bed with Jake? Jake instead of telling her that he's not going to made a fool of? Nope. Goes for a walk. Bella is nutcase, get that. But she either cares enough not to hurt jake or she doesnt cant be both ways like here. Jake is a young kid geting his heart ripped out. He put up with sparkles unless he is not human or a saint he aint putting up with this. Nobody would . Nobody COULD. Jake is reacting emotional like a female. Not like a 16 year old would and makes the story unbelievable. It feels off and instead of following the story it makes readers question why anybody would do what they are doing here. Thats why your not getting reviews. Cause this sucks.
| Guest chapter 13 . 1/3/2014
Your making jake out to be a fool .Nobody would stick around after that - its a SLAP IN THE FACE.
I know you want to make conflict and tension in the story BUT its not REAL nobody would put up with it. IF you had jake walking out it might be believable. Bella is ALREADY ruining what they have by going on the date. Its a betrayal after all Jake has done for her and having jake suck it up loses any sense of believability. It means he has no sense of his own self worth. Your gonna have jake sit around while bella dates. This is what happens when females write stories like this they NEVER get the male POV right. What next Jake gonna sit in the living room while sh puts out? You lost me on this one. Now the story sucks because the characters are NOT believable any more. Show me people like this outside of an asylum. Sorry but your story just plain sucks now. Thats why your not getting reviews
| Guest chapter 13 . 1/3/2014
Your not a bad writer but You know what. This is bullshit. NOBODY is that selfless. I mean nobody would put up with mopy, selfish emo bitch for months and months. Not to mention now she's flirting with other guys at work. Fuck that noise. Jake is 16 year old male sleeping in the same bed with a supposedly pretty girl who only gets more depressed each day. He is depriving himself of evrything a boy his age should be doing Nobody on this planet is like that. He doesnt talk to any girls, he doesn't date, doesnt get phone numbers -Nothing. He's like a monk. Thats not even remotely realistic. Believe me it doesnt work that way. Either this Jake is gay or he's wacking off 20 times a day. Also he does have an ulterior motive. If Bella told him in no uncertain terms that there is NO POSSIBLE WAY that they will move on in the relationship, corrected him every time he touched her etc. He would bail and he should. He is as big a co-dependent fool as Bella at least in this story.
| Guest chapter 3 . 1/3/2014
I would like for once to read a story where Jacob doe not play the fool. Where he basically tells Bella to stop her bullshit or go pound sand. I understand he loves Bella. But she is one of the most selfish, self-absorbed characters I have ever had the displeasure of reading about. Edward is controlling, obsessive, decietful and manipulative not mention he is a multiple murderer. He has lied to Bella, belittled her intelligence and judgement,physically restrained her, makes her feel weak and unattractive and she has defended this abysmal behavior and called it loving and protective when other people have tried to intervene and point out what she has failed to recognize it and believes she cant live without this. Well you know what, let her have Sparkles. That would be a good story. Jake just cuts her off. No calls, no letters, no notes jus nothing - silence.. static. Ignore her. Then Jake moves on with some hot girl who adores him. Bella would hate that. Bella's thing was sending Jake a lot of mixed signals to keep him on the hook until SHE was ready to let go. Let jake walk away from her. that would be a cool story.
| wassup chapter 2 . 1/3/2014
Time for Jakey to wake up. Bella was going to walk away from him not Edward unfortunately.
I dont car how much he loves her after a while most people get fed up with being a door mat and being used.
| Guest chapter 1 . 1/3/2014
Why are you making excuses to Edward lovers? It's your story, you do not have to apologize. Besides you posted this as a Jake/Bella story not an Edward/Bella story. So That should be the primary relationship. If not you need to revise your summary and how the story is listed
| Luna chapter 38 . 11/19/2013
Great story but Bella drove me insane
| 01Katie chapter 37 . 9/14/2013
| VJM130899 chapter 16 . 7/17/2013
4 jake n Lindsay
it shouldn't have gone further
im sry that I dint like that prt :(
luv ya :( :)
| Jane chapter 13 . 4/1/2013
Nope, Bella is really too dumb to get to have Jake. She's going out with this guy because she didn't know what to say when he asked her? And she knows how much she's hurting Jake? She really is too stupid! She makes me cross! ( I guess that means that you are writing a good story,)
| Guest chapter 1 . 1/6/2013
I know I'm reviewing in ch 1, but ive read the whole thing. I finished reading your 3 long jxb stories and this one was my favorite. Not sure why it struck me but I liked Jake in it. Thanks for the reads!
| Guest chapter 33 . 1/6/2013
Flare gun. Lmfao
| alh1971 chapter 8 . 12/22/2012
My sister was killed in 2004. Shortly after her funeral, I was sitting outside thinking about her when a yellow butterfly flew up and landed on my face. It crawled around on me for a while while I talked to her. Probably just a coincidence, but I felt connected to her while it stayed and it helped ease the pain a little bit. Butterflies and wild flowers always remind me of her...