Reviews for Broken Dreams chapter 1 . 12/16/2012
It sounds good. Maybe you continue and write about his mother coming over and him shouting all of this out. Literally my favorite part of the movie is when his little sister comes over and doesn't say anything. I thought this was a beautiful moment.
thisisforyou chapter 1 . 11/23/2010
Mmmn. Almost exactly what I imagined he'd be thinking.

I would have liked a bit more description, the sentence at the end about the tear was good! Maybe if you'd put something like that in between each paragaph?

But it was very good, you got into his head nicely.

-for you!
hp-not harry potter chapter 1 . 11/16/2010
Alright, first of all, get rid of the caps rape. Second, too short, third, unoriginal. Explanation: the description of his thoughts as described here are things already given in the movie, no need to voice them out loud, they're obvious and to be honest, almost an exact copy of what happens in the movie. Fourth and lastly, the silent tear is both cliche and irrelevant, it isn't a script you know.
Under the Willow Tree chapter 1 . 10/2/2010
Oh. My. God. SAMI! Why didn't you TELL me about this? Lolzers, sounds very angsty... Luv Dani :)