Reviews for Detention
Ana akz chapter 1 . 3/22/2015
It was fantastic. Very pornographic XD.
Malavika chapter 1 . 7/19/2013
Stop making Hermione out to be a slut!
Guest chapter 1 . 6/30/2012
Please get a beta. This story has excellent potential, but the writing style was lacking and I struggled to carry on reading. Sorry.
Miharu Nakamura chapter 1 . 6/22/2012
mmmmm yummy
Starcresentmoon chapter 1 . 5/31/2012
:D of course Lucius uses everything to his advantage. Dont u wish u could have a wicked secret like that with Lucius. I know i do XD Enjoyed reading ty.
RedBear5 chapter 1 . 9/25/2011
The story concept is good.

Emotions attempted need a lot more development to be believable. Fear and seduction are complex. The text shows emotional immaturity, which is fine for Hermione, but not for Lucius. The comments are too extreme, and the pacing too fast for this plot.


Red Bear
someone chapter 1 . 9/11/2011
I agree with tm as well. I'm sorry, but this story made me laugh a bit because of the way you phrased/described things. Ex: 'She said virginally, "Show me how to do it."' In general, I think you need to work on your dialog to make it flow more smoothly. Your characters say 'said' a lot when there are many other words you could use to mix it up. Best of luck in your future work.
writeratheart007 chapter 1 . 3/21/2011
Is this only going to be a one-shot? I'd love to see if you do more with it.
klagana1 chapter 1 . 3/15/2011
oh damn!
MollyJones chapter 2 . 3/14/2011
I would so love to read that if you already had one!
Shlebs18 chapter 2 . 3/1/2011
Jac Jac chapter 2 . 2/28/2011
How about lucius is heartbroken by her leaving his room that night.
Erik's Rose chapter 2 . 2/26/2011
Yes Dammit YES!

Kindest Regards

Emmzdy chapter 2 . 2/20/2011
I think that a sequel would be amazing

bodizzle chapter 2 . 2/17/2011
It would be great!
47 | Page 1 2 3 .. Last Next »