|Reviews for Violets|
| Morgaine Le Faye chapter 1 . 6/4/2011
You really do understand Lettuce’s character on a deep level, True. Or perhaps it’s the way you’ve fleshed her out from the canon and given her depth resonates more with you as a person (her canon character isn’t nearly as detailed, so I’m thinking it’s the latter); either way your characterization suits her and reminds me of you.
(As always, I hope all of this makes sense the way I want it to.)
When I first read this (which was ages ago, right when you first posted it – cue apologetic grovelling for you not to revoke my friend badge) we hadn’t gotten to conversing nearly as much as we do now, and I noticed the parallels between you and Lettuce in this fic much more this time round. You’ve done a wonderful job of portraying the tribulations of a shy girl – maybe I just relate to them so much because I’ve experienced everything you’ve described. Regardless, you’ve done a wonderful job of tacking down emotions and describing them here and making them easy for your readers to feel.
[Was this brief flare of romance destined to fade back to normality, like all the other times she'd felt this way?] A legitimate concern, and again one I think a lot of people can identify with. This is also a good reference/parallel to Lettuce’s experiences in the canon.
I’ve mentioned to you before how much I love your descriptions; this fic may as well have been written solely for the purpose of describing things beautifully. (I also like how you mentioned White day – I didn’t know what that was until I came across it in this fic, but you certainly seem to have done your research. It’s just a small detail that’s pretty much irrelevant to the rest of the plot, but it makes the setting more believable.) All the flowers you mentioned sound so much prettier than they really are they way you describe them. The cupcakes were also really well described – your wording for the way they tasted has stuck in my head since I first read this, actually. I want a lime-flavoured cupcake!
The flow of the story is brilliant, as well, as it is with most of your writing. No matter how hard I try my tone is always clumsy, but yours always flows like poetry. You mentioned that you think about the rhythm of your prose to me once, and it certainly shows here. All of this fic is just put together really well. A lot of times it’s really obvious when an author wants to move the plot along quickly, and you can tell where they’ve skimped on information to get through a scene. I haven’t seen any of that in this fic; your ability to describe things comes in again here, I think, and you can make even the most spartan scenes interesting and full of life.
Ah, the romance. It could have easily become the clichéd, overdone sort of stuff you see a lot of in fics come Valentine’s Day, but you’ve avoided that even just in your execution. Lettuce’s paranoia and doubt, as well as her realistic worries for her own safety make all of it plausible without really detracting from the overall fluffiness. The extravagance of all of it (well, some of it – you’ve added quite a great deal of simplistic yet deeply meaningful and oh-so-very-Pai-x-Lettuce-y stuff as well) is a bit comical considering all of it was coordinated by Pai. You actually managed to keep me guessing as to who the secret admirer was until almost the very end, which is quite silly when you think about it considering you’re the author and the fic is filed with Pai and Lettuce as the main characters. ;;
Also, I absolutely adore you for having them reading Watership Down. It isn’t really the sort of book you’d expect either of them to be interested in, but of course the canon had Lettuce reading picture books (did that affront you as highly as it did me? I know you gave an explanation for that in the fic somewhere – of course, you also mentioned that she reads proper books as well), and Pai hardly got any screen time outside of being EBIL, so. And the idea of them reading such deep, wonderful literature together (and analyzing it! Having debates, even) in such a secretive way like you have is strangely stupendously romantic, and perfect for them as a couple. A lot of people skip over their mutual love of knowledge as a way to make their attraction to each other plausible, which is silly, in my opinion. You have made excellent use of it here. I suppose one of my very few criticisms about this fic would come up here – I’m not sure what kind of literature people in Japan read, or what kind of things get translated. Since all the books you mentioned are classics I assume they probably would have been, but the choice of novel seems rather more European (James Bond especially xD) than Asian on a whole. However, you definitely have creative license there, and the books you chose work oh so well with the fic, and so it’s not a large criticism in the least.
They way you have Lettuce slowly becoming more forward during the note-exchanging is very good. Everyone opens up more easily through written word, I believe, which is another aspect of this fic that most people can relate to (you make your fics very relatable, actually, even if the situations or particular emotions may be foreign). And their friendly conversations make me feel warm and fuzzy inside; this whole scenario was actually a brilliant way for you to have them interacting on a normal, human level, without all the Mew crap, or any OoC-ness.
And then there’s drama. You have this nice fluffy thing going on for a while, with some sadness and feelings of inadequacy and exclusion on Lettuce’s part, and the doubt and confusion with the gifts and exchanging of notes, but then it gets scary when Lettuce realizes she might have a stalker (and there’s Pai’s angst about being in love with his enemy and wanting to protect her but being unable to do it directly, etc. etc.). And then BAM, humour. ‘It’s ZAKURO!’ Just… I laughed so hard when I first read that. xD It did seem a little random, a bit of a strange conclusion for Lettuce to jump to, but it was still very funny, and I suppose believable given Lettuce’s tendency to get flustered.
I should mention that I like your LettucexZakuro interactions very much. They’re two characters that go quite well together, I think, and it’s always nice to read them behaving like real friends, as opposed to people who supposedly care for each other but without any supporting evidence (the entirety of the canon was like that, pretty much, wasn’t it?).
This ['Gomen nasai!' Lettuce wailed, shooting out of the room with her arms over her head.
'Lettuce, why are you behaving so strangely towards Zakuro-oneesama?' Mint called as she passed. Lettuce glanced around in confusion, but before she could respond Keiichiro came hurtling up the basement steps.
'I've detected a massive release of energy in the area!' he cried. 'Certainly it's being produced by at least one Chimera anima.'
'Go, Tokyo Mew Mew!' Ryou shouted.
'Lettuce-onee-chan is very quick into battle today,' Pudding observed as Lettuce sprinted from the cafe, already crying her transformation.] was just brilliant. Why are you so good at writing comedy? orz And it’s even funnier because that’s exactly something that might happen in the canon, minus the intentional humour.
(I love your Kish, too.)
And you write action scenes exceptionally well, too. It’s easy to describe them too much and make them confusing, but you have just the right amount of description to make things interesting and guide the reader’s imagination into fleshing things out. The part about Pai’s electric attack travelling through Lettuce’s water-based one was clever!
And – also – I love the part where Lettuce hits Pai in the back. And makes him do a faceplant. It was a glorious mental image.
Ah – it seems a little implausible that Zakuro and Lettuce would have been able to transform in the middle of a crowded park without anyone noticing; that sort of thing is kind of normal for the mahou shoujo genre, though, I suppose.
And gosh, the ending just made me so happy. Pulling the romance straight out of a frenzied battle scene like that made it even more enjoyable. And there was still a good dose of humour and angst and fluff mixed in all through it. Seeing Pai fluster about his problems with talking to girls was wonderful.
And then, everything from the point Lettuce hit Pai to the end was gold. This line made me laugh quite a bit, and is so in character for Kish: [He laughed until he fell out of the air and thudded awkwardly onto the turf between Lettuce and the other Mews. He lay where he was, clutching his stomach, clapping like a seal when he grew too breathless to express his feelings vocally, and the others watched him.]
And you’ve treated Lettuce so well in this fic. I think that’s what I like the best about it; she gets plenty of opportunities to play Superman, and slowly gains confidence throughout the whole thing, and is treated worlds better by a secret admirer than Aya was treated by her actual boyfriend (or whatever it was). I know I’ve already said way too much in this review, but I really do love this fic. :)
In short, it was awesome!
| Slightly Dead chapter 1 . 3/28/2011
Awesome :D I wouldn't have been disappointed with the Zakuro/Lettuce, but the way you put an end to that idea had me laughing so hard I had no time to go, "Darn..."
You're an awesome writer, hope you do more! *toddles off to go stalk your profile for more*
| I Lov3 Wizardmon chapter 1 . 12/9/2010
| Safaia Bara chapter 1 . 10/31/2010
Aw! That was so awesome. The entire time I was reading it, the back of my mind was screaming 'Pai! 'Pai! Pai! PAI!' I knew there was no way you wouldn't end it with any other pairing, although you did scare me for a bit. lol.
Fantastic work, yet again!
| Zenaga the Sea Serpent chapter 1 . 9/10/2010
So... I read this about a week ago, but since I was on my iPod, I couldn't review. Sorry! Alright, let me begin with my review...
This. Was. Amazing.
Of course, since you're such a Pai x Lettuce fan, I suspected Pai from the beginning, and I was going to be a little sad if it wasn't him... although I must admit that I wouldn't have been entirely disappointed if it were Zakuro either. (I think Minto would have been, though.) Anyway, as always, this was very thoughtfully written. I thought that Lettuce's hesitancy to believe that someone was seriously giving her gifts was very in character. (Poor, unappreciated Lettuce.) I also always appreciate it when writers acknowledge the bullying of Lettuce, because the other Mews seem to always forget about it, even though it clearly continues throughout the series.
I don't remember there being any awkward sentences, so... umm... I don't know... maybe more fluff next time? (Just kidding. This story is unreasonably fluffy as it is.) I hope that you write more in the future!
Sincerely, Zenaga the Sea Serpent
| Kiichigo-chan chapter 1 . 9/6/2010
True! This... is... fantastic! It's so cute, and I always love how you write Lettuce. I wish you a wonderful start to the school term (I'm getting a bit nervous about mine; I start in two days!) and thanks for writing this. It made my day, and I must say I'm rather glad that you included the alternate ending in the a/n. xD
As always, SQUEEEE for PaixLettuce! He's so sweet to her. :)
Strangely enough, I agree with the whole shoehorned-in-around-classes thing. ; At least I'll have an established routine again, which usually helps with choosing priorities and such. I wonder if FF is still unblocked at my school... Fingers crossed! But here I am, rambling about classes, when really this review is about your wonderful oneshot. Lovely work!
| Ally Marton chapter 1 . 9/2/2010
Please know that though I adore 'Arashi' and 'My Sea, My Sky', this one is, by far, MY FAVORITE OF ALL YOUR WRITINGS. Miss Essence of Gold made you post this, eh? Please do me the biggest of favors and give them a big hug of thanks for me, I haven't laughed so hard from a fanfiction in awhile. I love serious drama, but I love serious drama with comedy more. It's silly, but I think this would be my favorite part:"He'll know not to turn his back on me next time, won't he? she thought. Wait...drat, so he will. " XD ah, and then when she thought it was Zakuro, and then when she and Pai were found out! 3 3 You've a true gift, I'm so glad you posted this! Also, your fighting scenes were terrific! I have a hard time writing those out, bug your form of description really works with it. I want to praise you more, ;) I truly and serisouly do, but I need to end it here because I feel silly having serisouly long reviews (though I'm sure your totally fine with them! Am I right?). The best of luck to you in school, especially if it DOES help you write better!
| First Light of the Sunrise chapter 1 . 9/2/2010
N'aww 3 that was a cute, but intreguing oneshot. Well done!
| Just Cy chapter 1 . 9/1/2010
True, you always make me wonder why I don't love Pai and Lettuce as a pairing. I liked Lettuce's speculations, they were logical and well thought out, but the jumping to "Zakuro is my secret admirer" certainly threw me for a loop. On the other hand, the notes from Pai were exactly what I imagined him to be like if he ever chilled his pants enough to show anything other than an obsession with logical and mathematical thinking. It was somewhat formal, and almost had a Jane Austen feel to it, but it was perfectly Pai.
| Julianna Tala chapter 1 . 9/1/2010
KA..WA..IIII! This was just to cute. Well done on yet another LettuceXPai pairing. All-time favorite couple! Keep on writing! _