Reviews for When If's Become Are
Jimelda chapter 2 . 8/16/2012
Oh, this is quite good as well. I really hope you're still planning on updating this sometime in the future. I'd love to see what happens next.

Cheers,
Jimelda
Jimelda chapter 1 . 8/16/2012
Very heavy on the angst. Nicely done! The way you describe Danny's grief is exactly how I'd imagined him feeling if TUE had taken a turn for the worse at the end.

Cheers,
Jimelda
HaiJu chapter 2 . 11/10/2011
Wow. Just wow, this is amazing. It's really heavy and rough, but paints a very vivid picture of Danny's experience in the aftermath of the explosion. I like the awkward non-dialogue between the two characters, too, very appropriate. Too bad it looks discontinued. :/

- Hj
jeanette9a chapter 2 . 10/17/2011
wow he is really out of it!
forkinthetoaster chapter 2 . 10/6/2010
Beautiful! I want to see more of this story. I have a question though, is this what happened during the time Danny stayed at Vlad's in the original timeline- or is this AU?
reckless is a wreck chapter 2 . 9/25/2010
I like this :) its really sad.. you gunna cont? If you are, I'm so excited x3
Nimrod The Writer chapter 2 . 9/19/2010
I like this a lot. :) You have a unique idea here, focusing the one shots on Danny's life after the Nasty Burger accident. So far, they've been awesome too! Great work!
pearl84 chapter 2 . 9/18/2010
Okay, I usual don't critizcise the length of a writers chapters. But I must do so in this case, simply because I think you are a very wonderful writer and I would like to give you my honest opinion.

I think this chapter was simply two short. Really, this length could perhaps be acceptable for the prolouge or beginning chapter od a story, but for the following one? I don't believe so. Really, a chapter should be at least six pages in length and that's still short, but acceptable.

And it's not because I just want it to be longer, though that's part of it. But because I think every chapter should have something happen. Something important, in other words. Whether it's plot development, or action, or anything. In short, within each chapter, the story should move forward and it's not really possible to that in two or three pages of writing. Also, it's unsatisfying to the reader, especially if you have such spread out updates.

I recommend that you write a chapter up to some sort of turning point or a natural stopping point. Like for example. I believe this chapter took place the next day of the funeral or the same day. (That's something you didn' specifiy, and really should have). But, anyways, the natural stopping point for this chapter would have been the end of the day. Tell us what happened for the rest of the day or that whole day. Or, take it up to some important point.

I'm sure you just wanted to post something, but I personally prefer to wait a little longer and get a decent-length chapter, then something quick and short.

But, of course, I tell you this as one writer to another because I really love this story so far and I really think you are an awesome writer. But now that I got that comment out of the way, I do want to say that I still enjoyed this short scene between Danny and Vlad. Poor Kid definitely beyond depressed and Vlad's just as equally stressed. I love how you showed that and how you described it.

Keep up the amazing work! Is sure hope to see more soon, and perhaps this time a bit longer. *winks*
scpl9ya chapter 1 . 9/3/2010
I didn't get around reading this until now. I really do have a lot of questions at the ending making me want to read more. Keep it up. :D
Barana chapter 1 . 9/2/2010
Aw. How nice.

/sadist
pearl84 chapter 1 . 9/1/2010
Aww. How sad. I never get tired of stories and one-shots based on TUE. It definitely is a 'what if' with so much potenial. And there is so much a writer could do with it. And you definitely did an awesome job with this. Short, but very powerful! I definitely hope you write more soon! Until then! :D
Kk chapter 1 . 9/1/2010
I don't know what to say other than I'd like to see more.