Reviews for How to Get Your Balls Back
Lillywhite1 chapter 21 . 10/15/2016
Thanks for writing this wonderfull story!
Mary Castle chapter 21 . 10/11/2016
This was an awesome story. I love Twilight. And I think you made a damn good story, including the lemons, while being true to the original. Great job! Thank you for sharing!
readicted chapter 11 . 1/12/2016
I haven't read chapter 11 yet, but I hit post review for chapter 10 before I could rant in righteous indignation at Bella's complaint about submissive women and controlling men. This is coming from the chic that wants to be tied and gagged and punished and dominated. And I don't just think she likes it only in the bedroom. She's trying her damnedest to provoke fights with Edward. She wants him angry and dominating. She wants him to take control because she's ruling him. Yet she stands in judgment of Paige's views, as outdated as they may be. She is always going on about Edward being judgmental, yet here she is doing the same. Actually Paiges views seem to be better aligned to Edward's sensibilities. Please tell me that Edward doesn't cave and beg for forgiveness. I think Bella legitimately has good reason to be upset with Edward for agreeing to work on the case, but that's it.
readicted chapter 10 . 1/12/2016
Ok, Paige perhaps should not have been so willingly to engage in debate at a dinner in the home of her colleague, where she is meeting the entire family for the first time. Polite conversation is par for the course. So in that regard, it was a bit unwise on her part. Bella was equally questionable. Edward should've bowed out of that project. Nothing good can come of that and Bella was working on it first. Edward is tired of giving in to Bella all the time, and he does need to put an end to that, but this was probably not the wisest of his choices. However I do agree that the girls are being overly harsh in their criticism of Paige. Bella shouldn't have spoken for Edward. He could've begged off the case on his own. And had she kept quiet, he most likely would have.
readicted chapter 9 . 1/12/2016
Good lawd Edward doesn't seem to have the best timing when it comes to self pleasuring. At least he was honest. Last line of the chapter made me guffaw.
readicted chapter 5 . 1/12/2016
Hmm Bella seems conflicted about her future plans, even as she begs Edward not to change his mind. I was a huge Run DMC fan and I love the Walk This Way collab. When I was in school I snuck my older brother's Run DMC cassette tape to school to play over the school radio in my middle school to educate the masses on the fine creative art of Rap. Lol. My brother implicitly instructed me not to touch that tape under threat of a butt kicking, but I did it anyway thinking I could sneak it back before he ever noticed. It almost worked. Unfortunately 2 blocks away from my house, a dog decided to hop the neighbor's fence and chase me home. Screaming bloody murder, I ran for my life, throwing my books, and my purse, which held said tape, up in the air as I went. I made it about half a block before the dog latched on to my leg. I bit my ankle, taking half my sock and my sneaker. I hobbled home bloody footed sans Run DMC tape. My parents went back to speak to the owner and to retrieve my scattered belongings. Thankfully the tape was recovered, and in good working condition, but my brother after determining I was ok, was highly pissed. Never got to borrow it again. Lol
readicted chapter 4 . 1/12/2016
They had their hot angry sex and Bella is feeling satisfied and Edward was feeling horrified, but I hope he is still angry. Like really angry. I'm not saying they can't work it out, but he needs to be firm.
readicted chapter 3 . 1/12/2016
Oh hellllll to the no! These friends of Bella's are too damn much. Bella has obviously given them the impression that it's ok to behave in this manner. That she'd be open to persuasion and advances. That one hit on and groped Edward right in the same hotel room says to me that that girl believed he was fair game for some fun, as was Bella. They may have assumed wrong, but she obviously didn't project a picture of a deeply committed woman in love with the man she intends to marry. She saw her a hot guy that she's screwing. Also her fault. That Edward had to buy back his mother's ring is outrageous, but thank goodness for Alice, that he got it back. Thank f !# Edward threw those chicks out. I guess Alice sees that Edward needed to allow this clusterfuck of a birthday to happen so that Edward could loose his temper and put his foot and man (or vamp) the frick up.
readicted chapter 2 . 1/12/2016
Well she decides to spend her entire birthday away from Edward, her "boy friend." Completely thoughtless, and cruel knowing how much Edward was looking forward to celebrating with her. It's clear that her friends are party girls. I get the feeling they've been sexual back in college. That's the cliché she keeps alluding to. Taking off the ring and then looking it because she was too damn drunk to walk!? He should be livid. And the girls would have to go. He should've made them leave. I can see that she is testing Edward. She wants him to be more dominant with her and she's been getting her way in everything. But this was pretty damn awful. Perhaps this was the only way she knew to break through his steel control, but damn she lost his mother's ring. I'm sure that part was accidental, but totally her fault and totally in excusable.
readicted chapter 1 . 1/12/2016
So Bella is drawing out the engagement. She wants eternity without marriage.
nolongerlurking chapter 17 . 10/5/2015
Hysterically funny chapter, especially Edward's internal dialogue regarding the grammatically incorrect hip hop 'lyrics'. I do so agree with him.
debba8 chapter 21 . 9/25/2015
Loved this sequel and the original story. You had romance, humor, drama everything combined! Great writing. Wish you still wrote on this site.
Jasper-replaces-edward chapter 11 . 3/26/2015
So funny, off to read the outtake. xx
Jasper-replaces-edward chapter 10 . 3/26/2015
Oh dear. xx
Jasper-replaces-edward chapter 9 . 3/26/2015
OMG no wonder Alice is blocking with all this brewing. xx
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