|Reviews for Skin|
| Lets-Go-To-Vermont chapter 6 . 2/4/2013
Well, poor Mokuba. I feel so bad for him. What is anyone thinking, letting a ten year old boy do this? Oh Yu-Gi-Oh, home of terrible treatment of little kids.
And the thought of Mokuba acting like Seto is very... Creepy.
| Lets-Go-To-Vermont chapter 5 . 2/3/2013
Jounochi is really really lucky to be alive. -Chan. My knowledge of Japanese is almost non-existent but isn't that used for very young children and girls that you are very close with?
And I still stand by what I said about Mokuba being a puppyshipper. I now also say he is very lonely. He wants Jou to live in his house. People wouldn't want that for people they don't like.
And I was very sad when Jou fell. You portray the father/son relationship well. The few other fan fictions I've read with Jou either completely ignore the alcohol problems or portray his dad as Satan. So nice where it is actually realistic and cannon.
I loved that last scene. Just sayin.
| Lets-Go-To-Vermont chapter 4 . 2/3/2013
Well, I'm almost speechless. Jonouchi is lucky to be alive. But now he has a job and Kaiba won't kill him. Yet. But if he keeps thinking about her boobs, he might not live to Death T.
And poor Mokuba! He's got guts though. I don't remember him at all from the very few manga I read, but he just got kidnapped in the Anime And he was a pimp in the-anime-that-shall-nit-be-named. He had a fur jacket and henchmen. He was a pimp!
I'm really glad it wasn't a surgery. That would be f'ing creepy.
I forsee a close relationship between Jonouchi and Mokuba. That makes me very happy be cause I think they could get along very well i it wasn't for the fact Kaiba hated Jonouchi, so Mokuba must too.
And I wonder what Mokuba was thinking hiring Jonouchi. I must now take the Avatar the Last Airbender/ Legend of Korra fandom into this and see an image of Mokuba in a sailor suit sailing on the S.S. Puppyship. Yes, Avatar fans are f'in weird.
When LoK episodes first aired, we warred over which characters would get with which.
This review has gotten really off track. It's what I get for drinking Red Bull. I. Regret. NOTHING.
| Crystia chapter 99 . 2/3/2013
That chapter made me so happy...I can't even tell you how happy this chapter made me. *teary eyed* NOOOO JOUUUUUUUUUUUUU
| Lets-Go-To-Vermont chapter 3 . 2/3/2013
Well, no constructive criticism yet. It'll come, though. Unless you don't want me looking for it. I'll totally understand if you don't...
Can I just say that pre-mind crush Kaiba is cray-cray. I only read a little of the manga. And when I say little, I mean little, all scattered. But I remember reading one part of Death-T and being shocked at how crazy he was. I think it had a guy with a chainsaw? maybe an axe. It seems that this Kaiba is just as insane with the added bonus of PMS.
And poor Mokie! I didn't know that the Other Yugi (I don't really know how to refer to him. I am new to Yu-Gi-Oh Fanfiction) fought him in a shadow game. That is just a little out-of-line. Oh well, he was insane too.
Side note: I watched the Toei animation, but I try to forget it.
Mokuba is so desperate for a friend it saddens me. :'(
That is all.
| Lets-Go-To-Vermont chapter 2 . 2/2/2013
Well this chapter has peaked my interest. Well, if it wasn't for the fact that your story summary already said Kaiba was a girl. Good chapter, though! Sorry I don't have any constructive criticism for you... yet. I usually don't say anything unless its a repeating offense. It's a good thing, though that I haven't saw anything. (I'm a very critical person)
But, one question. I don't know if you will reply to this or not, seeing as I'm reviewing chapter two of a one hundred and twenty chapter fanfiction, but when is the prologue set. I know it's after Gozaboro died, but when exactly is it set? Thanks if you answer, but if not, that's okay too. I will probably ask A LOT of questions in my reviews,. Just a warning.
| Lets-Go-To-Vermont chapter 1 . 2/1/2013
Okay, I just read the first chapter of this, and it was really great! I can't believe that was your first attempt at first person point of view. I have never read a story where a person's gender was switched, so I'm curious to what you will do with it! And I can't believe this story is almost two million words. This is probably going to take a very long time for me to read! Sorry my review isn't very great or thought out. It's one in the morning here and I can't function after eleven thirty. Tomorrow I can probably write a much better review.
| Crystia chapter 95 . 1/29/2013
Well...You said no one gives you critique and you'd like some, so...Would you like me to give it a shot? I've been leaving only positive feedback until now, but if you'd like, I can be a bit more...critical...? I can only give you my perspective, but...
Things I noticed:
-The pacing is slow. The card games get tedious. Especially when I already know their results from watching the show. I'm not sure what the solution is, if you're determined to include them all (which is why I never mentioned it before), but I'd personally prefer a focus on the main characters. Although at the same time, it's impressive that you even dare tackle them all.
-Another note on the pacing: this is a fanfiction, but rather than focusing on the new interactions, you place a lot of emphasis on the scenes from the manga/anime. Jounouchi and Kaiba are the main characters, but their interactions are spread extremely far apart. Not necessarily a bad thing, especially since you don't hyperfocus on the two- but at the same time, I find myself feeling impatient when I wait for them to even be in the same vicinity.
-I think you could take more liberties, as the writer...My favorite chapters were the 'filler' chapters, like Valentine's Day, Hanami, etc, simply because I didn't already know what was going to happen. And because they interact, which seems to be getting more rare rather than more frequent. They don't interact a whole lot in canon, and I feel like you could tweak that...
-Structure: in paragraphs, you alternate frequently between short pieces of dialogue and short pieces of description. Separating them could make it easier on the reader.
-diction/syntax: "mind as well" is "might as well". And the expression is used often, along with others (i.e. 'hn', and 'aru' in recent chapters). Maybe change it up?
-Tiny little grammar things: "alright" is "all right", and you use many ellipses (...) when they're not always necessary.
...And that's all the concrit I can think of. As I said, though, some of this is merely my opinion, nor is all of it major, so make what you will of it.
I honestly would not have read this far if I wasn't enjoying it, however, so hopefully this is okay. It seemed as though you wanted concrit, though, and I personally love it, so I thought I'd try, at the very least...
Anyway, I won't write everything that I love about this story in this review, since I'm pretty sure I left you a mega-review on another chapter and this one's already pretty long. I assure you I'm still reading, however, and I adore this story to bits. :)
| Crystia chapter 88 . 1/28/2013
Hahahahahaha. The Malik-slash-Ren with the tongue stuck out of his mouth...The lines were written very accurately. I tested them.
| Crystia chapter 86 . 1/27/2013
Riddles? RIDDLES? What is this madness?! That's not how you get past doors...You get past doors by CHALLENGING THEM TO CHILDREN'S CARD GAMES.
Hahahaha shameless YGOTAS references aside though, I'm still loving the story. You even have me reading the Anzu and peeps POV without too much impatience, although subconsciously I really, really, REALLY want Jounouchi and Seto-chan interaction. :P
But waaaait...Does RenMarik? (slowww moment) Mehhh but I'll figure it out when I keep reading. Later, when it isn't some ridiculous hour of the night and I have school tomorrow.
Hahh your story be the death of me. But at least I'll die happy. XD
| Crystia chapter 74 . 1/26/2013
Uwahhhh! This chapter was WHOA! When Jounouchi said "Shut up, Kaiba" I was like daaayaaam. Hang in there, Seto-chan! The moron will snap out of it next chapter! I hope... XD
And daww, it'd be cute if she realized she cared about him, but somehow I doubt that's going to happen. Ah well, I'm not complaining. Maybe some subconscious part of her will realize it? Deep down? Deep, deep, DEEP down? :P
Hee, Mai is awesome...I reeeeally want a red ferrari. Like, I wanted one even before I read this fic. But now especially. ;)
Anywayyy, still reading! All right, letsa goooo...I've been looking forward to the possessed Jounouchi chapters so much.
So without further ado, off I go to read some more! :D
| Lunar wolf maiden chapter 120 . 1/26/2013
I guess I forgot to log in when I posted my review last but yes I did re-read your story and I loved this chapter thank you soo much for updating :)
| Blue Lagoon Loon chapter 120 . 1/25/2013
Gah! You are a witch! And I say that because I wuz a thinkin bout story of Kai-crazy being ghurl, and Jou-kun being antelope, and I go check story, then BOOM! Like sitting hippopotammoose on Whoopie Cushion, you updated-ed. Ed. But only review until work week finished-ded. (Being adult thing very very very berry time consuming.)
Anywho, YAY! They are in India. Or Indiana. And deh pilot is ded? Like R.I.P. ded? Gah! I bets they all cry n'stuff. I would do that if I see ded things. O_o; And why so abrupt of a trip? Seems fishy... like... umm... fishy, fish thing. Meh. Smelly setups by ebil corporations. Or ebil things period. Jou-kun should be suspiciousy. Or something.
So... YAY! New chappie! I yam very glad you aren't not being internets ghost. Now I am off, to consume Udon soup. With Ebi Fry. Yum.
| Crystia chapter 63 . 1/24/2013
Oh, oh! This is the chapter with Kul Elna and the corpses and the gold. I read somewhere that their BLOOD was mixed in with the melted gold, not the corpses...thus the smaller volume? I dunno, though. P:
...Yeahh, if you don't remember what you wrote in the A/N of this chapter, this is kiiindaaaa awkward...yay creepy mind-screwing? :D
I don't know why I felt that this was so incredibly important to comment on.
| Crystia chapter 61 . 1/24/2013
Oops! I missed the halfway review by one chapter...but the title is chapter 60, so I'm going to say that I did it on purpose! :D Because I'm amazing like that.
Uhh, I can't really remember what I wrote in my first review. That's probably why I don't review every chapter, despite this being awesome... (sorry). But, just thought I'd let you know I'm still enjoying the story! :)
Hee, and maybe it's just me, but I like the breather chapters even better than the ones with more plot! (which is saying something! :P) I loved the Valentine's Day chapter. Dawwwwwwww. XD
But I want more Kaiba and Jounouchiiiiiiiiii...Yep, I'm whining. :) Nahh, but it's incredible enough that you're fitting a relationship in there while keeping it completely canon. I mean, whoaaaa. :P
Oh yeah...I'd love to check out your fanart, but unfortunately the links arn't working? I'm removing the spaces, but...Is there something wrong with the links, do I need a photobucket account, or am I just being an idiot? P: Ah well...
Anyway, good stuff! :D