Reviews for The Battle Mage of Hogwarts: Year 1
Neo-Devil chapter 1 . 3/17
tell me, have you ever played any final fantasy games( have I asked this before, I can't remember if I did, if I didn't, then :) on me.)
BlazeStryker chapter 8 . 1/6
I can see freely given unicorn blood as being a vital ingredient in the production of a Philosopher's Stone. Nicely played.
Mommy3 chapter 11 . 12/18/2014
I like what you've done so far. I can't wait to see what happens in the next installment! Thanks for writing!
Taichi-Doragon Tentei chapter 10 . 11/7/2014
Your argument for how well Harry did in the fight is sound except for the part where Harry physically overpowers him. At one you have Harry back hand Quirrel and send him tumbling...in what world can an 11 yr old back hand an adult...I think your biggest issue with Harry's fight scenes is that you right as if Harry is the same height as the people he is fighting when in fact he is most likely a foot to a foot and a half shorter...could Harry even touch Quirrel's face if they stood in front of one another? But I digress...keep up the good work...I know that you have written 2 more books already so this isn't gonna help much but I felt like I needed to point this out. It was kind of the same for his fight with the troll and the sand creature...if Harry is purely defensive then ok I could see him doing alright but then I think about the fact that you say he is wielding a claymore and those are huge swords that probably weigh more than Harry does...just some food for thought. I am enjoying the story though and will move onto your other completed books.
LBII chapter 1 . 10/24/2014
If you planned on purpose to change the the dates by 10 years you should really say so. Otherwise people might think you just do shoddy work. I will give you the benefit of the doubt, as I like the premise of your story and it has been interesting so far. Thank you for sharing your time and talents with us readers.
Agrond chapter 11 . 7/24/2014
An interesting story, why a different 'golden trio' made of a stronger Harry, a braver Neville and a Hrmione who is still the same. I liked that apologise from Harry to Snape at the end and I'm wondering if the Potions' Master will apply his own piece of advice.
jeremiah123 chapter 11 . 7/21/2014
Good job
Pointer3109 chapter 3 . 7/5/2014
Not showing up for a duel you agreed to hold was always a major no-no. Malfoy should have taken a serious hit in social prestige in any dueling society.
Just an observation. Rowling screwed up.
Schnuff chapter 1 . 5/22/2014
I love reading about changes. Only...well changes should be made with logic behind them. One of the bigger mistakes in fanfiction stories is that they tell us about an mighty force that never before was seen. And sadly this story makes this mistake. You see, there are battle mages since the time of Merlin. OK with that. You say those battle mages are watching over their countries. Well, they didn't make a good job so far or they are not very powerful. How else could you interpret it that there was no influence during the time of Grindlewald or Voldemort? Seeing that this organization is just as helpful as the OotP 0.
Sailor Pandabear chapter 11 . 5/21/2014
interesting
FreelanceBum chapter 11 . 4/18/2014
Mostly follows canon, although mercifully shorter so it didn't mention every little thing. Snape's comment after Potter's apology is rather rich coming from him.

Honestly don't have much to say, minor mistakes are minor and isn't really different enough from canon to mention plot.

I hope you don't go down the road of bashing Ron as that is just in poor taste, no matter how annoying he is.
FreelanceBum chapter 10 . 4/18/2014
Neville looked over at another pillar. "And this here. 'I am the light before the darkness'. What does it mean though?" When he noticed Hermione and Neville staring at him, he blushed lightly.

He noticed Hermione and himself staring at himself?

"You may have thwarted me this time Dumbledore! Bt I swear I'll return!"
Down 1 u in "but"

Looking good for the blood theory so far, as it wasn't used here.
FreelanceBum chapter 9 . 4/18/2014
This potion was hard enough for first years, as the fumes could cause the mind to wander if done properly.

I think you mean improperly.

Besides, you'll need someone smart down there, to help get past those defenses.
Ouch Hermione. Ouch.

Btw, if you want me to not nit-pick as much I'm fine with that. I understand it can be frustrating to get little nit-picks on something you are doing for free as enjoyment. I tend to be a bit nit-picky, so...sorry.
FreelanceBum chapter 8 . 4/18/2014
George smiled. "So, Katie Bell, huh?" He asked. George groaned and slammed his head on the table.
Unless you are going very meta with the twin joke, the first George there should be Fred.

I also think the blood you just gave Harry is a Chekov's Gun for the chamber, since Harry shouldn't be loyal enough to Dumbledore to summon Fawkes.
FreelanceBum chapter 7 . 4/18/2014
I'm going to assume you aren't 11 when writing this, so it would have been 23 or 35. I'm going with 23, making you an Earth dragon born 1988. Or possibly 1989, early first two months.

So 26ish now. Of course it could be completely unrelated to chinese zodiac.
290 | Page 1 2 3 4 11 .. Last Next »