|Reviews for The Battle Mage of Hogwarts: Year 1|
| Kitari Isengar chapter 11 . 10/7
So, I've been reading HP fanfictions for a while. So much so that I usually skip the third floor bit of the story. The reason for that is usually you get something like a re-telling with a bit of fluff and polish. Very rarely is there something that is original within these trials. Well done for not making a generic re-telling that is a product of a lazy but capable author.
I think that if flitwick were truly trying to stop the stone from getting got, he could have done so much more then making a flying key that was difficult to grab. I'm sure that JK didn't have anything suspect in mind when she wrote these things, many don't. But it does kind of make you wonder, Dattebayo!
| Zeus501 chapter 1 . 8/2
not going to lie...hearing that this is a Ginny pairing...it almost made me close down the window...not a huge fan of Ginny...I like Hermione, and Cho better...but I enjoy your work, and this looks to be a good series...this is an idea that I had, and was going to put a challenge out there, cuz I suck at writing, but seeing that you already have written this, I will not
| missgsmith51 chapter 11 . 1/7
I'm quite curious as to why the Mages have not discovered and removed Harry's Horcrux. I think Harry needs to have a nice, long talk with his dad and the Mages about the pains he felt whenever he was around whom he now knows to have been Voldemort.
Nice little teaser at the end. Lucius Malfoy and the Diary ... or someone and something completely different?
I think Ron should be the one to get the Diary. At least it would set him apart from his brothers and Ginny, who will probably become a friend to the Trio next year. Most authors keep Ginny, although I have seen Zach Smith, Parvati Patil, Pansy Parkinson, and an unknown Hufflepuff used successfully, as well. The alternate is always someone who is feeling left out, ignored, or otherwise isolated or sidelined. I'm sure there were others, but I can't remember them just now. Anyway, it was just an idle thought.
I am looking forward to seeing what occurs with Snape. I think Harry's apology may have thrown him for a loop!
| missgsmith51 chapter 10 . 1/7
One thing that always bugged me about the potions Riddle was whether or not it was possible for whoever went first to switch around the bottles.
I still think Harry made a poor choice in not seeking the help of the Mages; but I will say I enjoyed your battle scene much more than the original. I suspect Harry is going to receive a good ear-scorching lecture from his mom and dad. I also hope the Mages impart a bit of wisdom to him. (After all, he has the Basilisk to face next year!)
I'm curious to see what Ron has to say about everything.
| missgsmith51 chapter 9 . 1/7
I'm disappointed that Daphne and Blaise are cheaters.
Actually, this is one event in Harry's first year with which I would like to see more ff authors take liberties. Harry has those Mages at hand, and pursuing this "adventure" without seeking their help makes him look like a fool. He has already encountered Voldemort (or something he thinks is connected to Voldemort) in the Forbidden Forest and barely survived, even armed with his sword. What makes him think he will succeed this time?
It was one thing for canon Harry not to trust adults; he had never been raised with anyone he could count on. Your Harry is not laboring under that handicap, as he has been treated with respect by parents and other capable adults who have taken him seriously and even let him in on critical information. Choosing to ignore adult help (McGonagall doesn't count this time, IMHO) that is nearby for the express purpose of helping keep the Stone out of Voldemort's hands is beyond idiotic. JM2K, of course.
| missgsmith51 chapter 8 . 1/7
I'm glad the unicorn was able to be saved. It's too bad the Mages are hanging out in Hogsmeade. They might do better lurking in the Forbidden Forest and watching for whatever is preying upon the unicorns. It probably wouldn't hurt to station one near the traps for the Stone. I wonder why Dumbledore doesn't suggest it. Could it be that he doesn't want anyone interfering with his testing of Harry?
"Hmph. Goody two shoes Potter and his friends. Figured they'd be studying. I don't see why Potter bothers considering the teachers probably just rig his tests for him anyways." I suppose that is one way to rationalize his own poor grades. Perhaps the Twins will show him the error of his ways.
The majority of the Harry-Daphne betrothal fics I've read have Daphne as a fair, blue-eyed blonde, similar to Fleur. A few depict her as a lavender-eyed brunette. I always "saw" Pansy as a blonde, too, but she turned up as a brunette in the movies, I believe. Where we are not told specifically, I think it is the choice of the individual author. Actually, in a Fanfic, I guess anything goes.
| missgsmith51 chapter 5 . 1/7
"... I cannot stop you from revealing that the Stone is here, or that Voldemort may come to get it. But I do ask you try to only tell him that there is danger here, if possible." Yeah, right. The whole thing was set up as a test for Harry. I think Dumbledore just wants NOT to be the one who reveals the info to Harry. After all, if he were to do it, it might look exactly like what it was ... a not-so-subtle "nudge" to go after the Stone to save it.
So Harry and Nev saved Hermione, eh? It will be interesting to see if this trio is different from the canon trio and in what ways.
Snape ... **sigh** What an arse.
| missgsmith51 chapter 4 . 1/7
"Hermione just gave him a small glare, still not forgiving him for the incident with the three headed dog." If she broaches this topic, perhaps Harry should point out that he has done nothing to her that needs forgiving. For one thing, she was not invited to the midnight duel that never happened; she chose to butt into his business and follow him. For another, SHE is the one who blew open the door to the room containing the Cerberus. If she knows so much, why wasn't she paying attention to where they were going, so that she could lead them in the other direction? I just hope Harry writes Gareth and tells him about the Cerberus.
| missgsmith51 chapter 3 . 1/7
Yuck! Hermione is nearly as obnoxious as Ron and Malfoy. Many fanfics either soften her annoying flaws or blow them out of proportion, so it's sometimes hard to remember that she really was a pill at first, even in canon. I wish Harry were less ... foolish sometimes, too. As a battle mage, he should have more sense when it comes to things like dueling and fighting and not allow himself to be suckered by the likes of Malfoy.
| missgsmith51 chapter 2 . 1/7
I don't care if Harry befriends Ron. Unless a Fanfic author changes Ron, I believe canon has shown him on more than one occasion to be an immature, lazy, thoughtless, jealous, somewhat bigoted brat. I consider him to be a "fair-weather friend" who turns his back on Harry when he doesn't like the way things are going, only to mumble an insincere "Sorry!" and believe himself absolved of any bad behavior. I think Ron prevents other kids from reaching out to Harry ... or vice versa.
I think Neville is a better friend for Harry. He has friends in other houses and has shown himself to be open to new people and ideas and loyal to those who deserve it. He's hard-working and intelligent, hampered chiefly by his gran's insistence that he use his dad's wand.
Be careful with your use of then/than; they are not interchangeable.
| missgsmith51 chapter 1 . 1/7
Dumbledore has a lot of nerve demanding Harry be presented for inspection. Someone should have done that to HIM in other HP stories (including the original). It's clear here that Harry has been raised and cared for like a son, and that he respects and cares for Gareth. He is obviously intelligent and knowledgeable about his destiny. I suppose Dumbledore doesn't like not being the one to "rescue" Harry from the cruel Dursleys and introduce him to the world of magic. He wanted an ignorant (of magical ways), easily manipulated, tractable little chess piece who would move as he was told. This Harry knows too much and will probably question him and some of his stupider decisions. It should be an interesting year.
No, I do not especially like the Harry/Ginny pairing, mainly because JK didn't take the time (IMHO) to develop either Ginny's character or the relationship properly. I have read a couple of fanfics, though, whose authors did take the time to develop Ginny along with Harry, so that she was a strong, dynamic character, and their relationship was deep and strong and had its roots in in the very natures of their characters. I can accept a well-crafted Harry/Ginny; it's the sudden appearance of the "chest monster" that I find unrealistic. So ... I'll go with you down that road.
| LetsSeeIfICanDoThisToo chapter 3 . 12/23/2016
I appologise but i cannot read on. This is too much a summary of the book without anything more than name swapping anf minor attitude adjustments...
| LetsSeeIfICanDoThisToo chapter 1 . 12/23/2016
I find it hard to believe harry still has the horcrux in his head if he was trainee by powerful mages...
| Eltyr chapter 11 . 7/13/2016
Not bad for your first go at a Harry Potter fic :) But I really must confess, having Ron be a major git is souring it for me. Still, it's your fic. Now, onto the next one!
| Eltyr chapter 10 . 7/13/2016
Ah, so THAT's how you got around not having Ron go with them. Interesting alternative to the giant Wizard's Chess match... although I think I still prefer the chess match; no offense.