"...Too much" Bella just cant stand to see real life happening. Bella thinks becoming a vampire is the solution to...well...everything really. Being dead will fill that emptiness inside her. She will be beautiful and strong and she will have an insta-family and Edward will never leave her (even though he already has). Love doesn't even enter the equation. How can you even love someone when you do not even know WHO he is (and who Eddie is isn't good. He is a deceitful, abusive manipulation stalker. He is also a mass murderer) Bella thought this was her solution to her cowardice. Bella is terrified of having to live life on its own terms. When she sees people being happy, warm and affectionate and loving with each other - in other words alive, She sees the lie in her twisted point of view. Anyway I'm sure Bella will work hard to keep Jake well within the friend-zone. The only person that ever matters to Bella is Bella.

The imprint is supposed to be two way .Bella being so empty and selfish probably has no soul to connect to.

NONE of what Bella is doing here is for Jakes benefit. Bella is selfish and she is using Jake as a substitute.. This is a primary character trait for Bella. Bella takes...and takes...and takes.
What she wanted from Edward had absolutely nothing to do with love and everything to do with escape. Running away. Not having to grow up

Very interesting. First chapter Charlie can't cook neither so it's nice to know he can at least grill... Hmmmm why did laurent run...,

i love ur writing.u r so funny at times.i just love it great work

what was the edward line u gave jacob? anyways i liked this.. though i'm not sure if edward would say all that in front of jacob, in the book it was just him and bella.

love this.. i used to be obsessed with twilight (ashamedly) and today new moon was on tv and i felt like going back to reading team jacob fanfics. this is really good

Guilty pleasure Twilight fan here... love the story, disliked Meyer's writing and was UNthrilled that Bella ended up with that condescending, controlling Edward (whose behavior comes directly from the "How to tell if you are in an abusive relationship" handbook). You are a good writer! I prefer your writing to Meyers... and I hope you don't stick Bella with Edward... please have her pick Jacob. I realize you wrote this a long time ago... so I am speaking to past you "please don;t stick Bella with Edward!"con

I really like th

I aspire to one day arrive at even one tenth of your coolness, tbh. One tenth.

Yay!

I really don't think it is healthy for you to pour so much into a fan fiction that you become sick and a bit crazed over it. If you're getting migraines after writing I think you should really look at the ergonomics of your writing work station. Are you taking regular breaks? Are you standing, changing it holding your position too long? Clenching your teeth? Forgetting to drink or eat? I've become aware lately of unhealthy my writing habits are - a laptop on my lap on the couch has my head constantly hanging down, putting a strain on my neck, and my arms are always up, restricting blood flow. I used to get RSI/OOS from my workstation at work, and it caused me dizziness, neck pain, headaches and wrist and forearm pain and weaknesses. I got thar sirted, but years later, my writing habit is causing almost as much of an issue.

As for the mental and emotional strain you talk about with this story... I'm not one to talk, because when I wrote my first fic I had many sleepless nights through being unable to turn the story off and also experiencing anxiety over my plot. I wrote and posted that story in a blaze. I haven't had the same issues since (not over a fuc, anyway), but its not because I don't care about the stories as much, but I think because I had to restrict my writing hours to something sensible. I used to write late into the night a lot of nights, and basically pushed all my other hobbies aside. I'd get home from work, cook dinner, and then I'd be writing last midnight to the unhappiness of my husband (he was not happy with my obsession over that story). Basically, I was causing myself to go loopy through a combination of self imposed stress, lack of sleep and too tight a focus. It was unhealthy. I will try not to do that again.

Far out - I both felt that Edward came off creepier in your story than he did in the book at that same time as I recognized the lines... It really us all about context. Even Bella's thoughts were not that different (that I can remember), but cast against the contrast of the way her and Jacob are together, Edward and the hold he has on her is scary and way more unnatural than even the imprint. That's why I liked Jacob better than Edward in the books - he and Bella interacted far more naturally and on a more level playing field than Bella and Edward. Bella couldn't beat Edward or challenge him in anything, and he treated her high handedly. His walking out on her to protect her was the most mucked up thing he did; cruel, deceptive, destroying, manipulative and it treated her as a child who couldn't know the truth. Fuck off, Edward!

Jacob's position in this is vaguely similar to Edward's at times in the books.

Another good chapter, but I'm frustrated with Jacob. Whens he going to see that maybe the imprint ain't so bad, and what's it going to take for Bella to prove to him that she'd have fallen for him anyway?

I forgot to say on the last chapter - I'm glad you've got Charlie sharing cooking duties. It really bugged me in the books that Bella took on all the household chores at her dad's house and that Charlie let her. He's a 40 year old bachelor and her father - how could he be as helpless as she treats him? Plus I never met a teenager who was so keen to take on domestic responsibility. I think it was Meyer's way of illustrating that Bella was a perfect little good girl, or perhaps a perfect little Mormon daughter. Anyway, it always rang false.

Why on earth couldn't she let the poor boy eat THEN sleep?

Anyway, besides that odd lapse if logic, I'm still really enjoying this.