|Reviews for 5 Minutes Bet|
| Clarity2199 chapter 1 . 3/27/2012
Yeah, the happily ever after thing was terrible... ;p
You had an interesting plot on this one. But it brings me to an interesting question: Have you ever read the Yugioh mangas (especially the early stuff, which would include season 0 for the anime)?
Because if you didn't, you missed 'a lot' and I mean 'a lot'! To truly understand Kaiba is to read those early parts, because it's why Kaiba is what he is. Unless those parts are read, you'll never truly understand him. It's 'that' necessary to his character.
In this story, if Kaiba was placed in the circumstances he was in, he would not be questioning why Joey is doing what he's doing, and he would certainly not be offering him pity. He would understand. After all...he was there. As soon as he realized that guy was Joey's Dad, he would have been picturing Gozaburo in his head, for they would both be on parallels. Joey protecting his Dad would probably have really confused him (until the orphanage thing was explained).
Also the game...Kaiba would never consider abandoning a game, no matter what. He accepted the games's challenge. He would have played that to the end, and never accused them as being sick (he's no better...he almost killed his own brother, once). He probably would have hit Joey first thing to claim his prize and take his trophy with him (just getting into the game). Then once he had him (dragging him to his home kicking and screaming), he'd probably be like 'what do I do with him, now'? ;)
Those are my thoughts, anyway. I've made at least 2 idea fics of Kaiba in a bar and getting in trouble with Joey. Kaiba normally doesn't drink, but as you put in your fic...something bad or depressing could possibly set him off as a spur of the moment act. I'm still trying to finish one of them. ;p
| Lily272 chapter 1 . 10/12/2011
Nice story. The end is a little sudden and short but I loved the rest. well done
| sherabo chapter 1 . 9/13/2011
Wow awesome writing, I love dthe bar scene I wanted to knock Jou's dad to the other side of Diminon, that scum bag. Ah Kaiba is designer faded jeans I love itttttttttttt. Great Job. It ended so quick but good...smiles...
| KenSan1990 chapter 1 . 8/17/2011
Pretty awesome. I wasn't expecting that. It was well put together. But just a few little things...nothing too serious.
You change tenses from past "he said" to "he says" kind of thing. It's not too often, but it sorta messed with flow when you're reading.
Also, at the end..."and they lived happily ever after" it is cute and endearing but...doesn't really do the story justice. Leaving it out or putting something besides that would probably have it make a way greater impact.
But totally loved it. Just wanted to give you some tips. :)
Definitely faved it.
| Pheonix09 chapter 1 . 1/16/2011
Nice job, it was awesome and I loved it
| ti chapter 1 . 9/4/2010
its actually called the taz manien devil because it was created to resemble the animal
also i would suggest a beta whos good in english