|Reviews for i don't know where to go|
| HereIam-Vagabond chapter 1 . 8/7/2011
This was a fucking gorgeous, amazing piece. I cried. The mood was really set. You could feel that something was not quite right, and when Naruto said he wouldn't be leaving you could tell that he was lying in one way or another. Your dialogue was amazing, especially when it's shown that it was basically not real. The ending was a punch in the gut. Especially when the two deaths are described as being "unrelated". Jesus, thanks for writing. This is beautiful.
| purvy sage chapter 1 . 6/19/2011
Cool piece. Noticed a few little typos:
"Maybe when he woke up, everything wouldn't be so fucked up. It wasn't like they could possible get worse.". ...should be "possibly"
He kicked a foot absently and some of the snow on the ledge fell. He watched it disappear into the darkness below and used a hand to sweep some more over the edge. He was up so high he couldn't see them land. The snow was too small; the ground was too far.
"How fast did it fall? How sudden the stop? What would it be like to disappear against the pavement like so much snow? So obviously thereyet each flake so obviously unseen?". ...should be a space between "there" and "yet"
"Would he be seen? They hadn't really seen him. Only Sasuke had.". ...at first I thought you had swapped the names here but now that I know the ending I'm not so sure. Although since you were all in the first person mode, maybe "Only I had." would be right? I'm still not sure.
Anyway... overall this was a great story. I could feel the cold depression of it all. Fabulous twist (although I had to re-read it to "get it")... I wonder if there is a way to rewrite it to make it a tiny bit more clear. Not enough to ruin the surprise... but enough to not confuse the reader. Again, I'm not sure.
I really enjoyed this! Excellent premise! ... and it was nice to see a broader vocabulary than most others. ;-)
Thanks for writing and raising the bar a bit! You seem to be a great idea person.
| scared of darkness chapter 1 . 6/17/2011
sooo the ending surprised me.. I had to read it twice to understand it and I still don't. Why did he jump? did he kill naruto too? I can't connect the pieces... sorry I'm a little slow _
but other than the mysterious ending I loved it... I just wish I could understand it lol.
| LovelySpiral chapter 1 . 5/7/2011
There are tears in my eyes. This was so strong and beautiful.
| Jellybean06 chapter 1 . 4/21/2011
You like screwing with my head, don't you? I was so caught up in that scene, with Naruto and Sasuke both safely inside and warm...and then boom! it's all shattered.
The way you write is rather...haunting. That last part with Naruto promising not to leave, and then Sasuke by himself, jumping...it broke my heart. The short, choppy sentences at the end really worked to make it real.
"Two deaths in less than two weeks. One shot. One jumper. Unrelated. A tragedy. A pity.
Midnight." I kept staring at the screen. Talk about a punch in the gut.
Thank you for sharing.
| Vio6136 chapter 1 . 3/16/2011
Beautifully written. Took me a second to realize the ending, and all went so crystal-clear then. Loved it, though so sad. Thanks for writing.
| yume76 chapter 1 . 9/8/2010
this is quite a touching story. wonderful work.
| yumerin chapter 1 . 9/7/2010
So sad i-i Yet, it was beautiful. I hope the person you got in the exchange liked this!
| ursancanine chapter 1 . 9/6/2010
One typo that stuck out was when Sasuke bit Naruto's shoulder. That's it I think.
Fluid flow, almost poetic. I like it. Not a fan of the dialogue but it got things moving. Solid and tangible manner of writing. Love love love.
I like the fact that you focused on the story itself and letting the backstory hang and speak for itself- fits the whole piece very nicely.
Goodjob on getting on sn_exchange :D
| Serenityofthematrix chapter 1 . 9/6/2010
This was intense but I liked it. Good job.