Reviews for Innocent Demand
ShadyAristocrat chapter 1 . 1/24/2011
awww that's so sweet :) too bad it's a little short but ok
Citizen Chauvelin chapter 1 . 11/26/2010
I like this. It's an interesting concept, but it feels to me like a small piece of a much larger story. There is an interesting idea here, and it seems a waste to call it complete at under 200 words. It is my opinion that it might be worth going back into your head and reopening this idea and exploring it further.

That being said, though short, it is well written and you capture action and emotion well, and it does make me want to read more. Drop me a line if you're interested in expanding this and I'd be glad to act as a sounding board.