|Reviews for My Hikaru|
| The Awesome March Hare chapter 1 . 9/19/2011
Cute! So very cute! I love it.
| nicluvly chapter 1 . 11/22/2010
KWAAAAH! So cute. I love them being all brotherly, but not having sex with one another. XD
OKay, now onto the serious business.
I loved the poetic nature of this piece and the raw emotions really shown through. Short sentences were perfect for this! It really kept it moving! There was one part that seemed a little awkward:
"Kaoru!" Hikaru screamed, taking my injured hand in his. He made me sit down so he could examine it.
I calmed down a bit by then, so I continued"
In juxtoposition to the poetic nature of this piece those two felt off. But looking at it again, you could change it to make it flow a bit more.
Hikaru screamed, taking my injured hand in his. Then he made me sit down so he could examine it.
I had calmed down by then, so I continued.
'a bit' seemed too imformal for the tone of the piece and the first sentence felt disconnected from the second adding 'then' helped link the two recovering the flow.
Hope these help! I'm adding this one to my favorites cause. KWAAAAAH. LOl. Very good, you're doing a great job.
| TheKinkyCumberbabe chapter 1 . 9/12/2010
*Cries* That was beautiful T_T *cries some more* This was wonderfully written T_T My fav. lines were " HARUHI THIS HARUHI THAT WHO CARES?" Me : YEAH? WHO CARES? dickhead e.e XD
and "Be My Hikaru forever.." "I never stopped." Aww TT *favs* :'3
| Xenia-Merlo chapter 1 . 9/10/2010
Yukiko: Twincest for-
Kimiko: The Win!
The Misaki Sisters
| Yumi-chan-likes-chainsaws chapter 1 . 9/6/2010
D Yay for twincest!