|Reviews for Five years later|
| Sauron Gorthaur chapter 5 . 1/19/2011
This chapter very accurately showed Resa's character, how she is initially angry at Dustfinger, but can't manage to stay angry at him, because she knows how he feels. I think that is what is at the heart of Resa and Dustfinger's relationship: the fact that they are the only two beings who can comprehend what the other is going through, what it's like to lose everything. Dustfinger and Resa's relationship is a complicated thing, and I'm glad you aren't making it shallow, but are showing the complications that make it so great.
Good work as always. And as always, keep on writing!
| LivingInAnotherUniverse chapter 5 . 1/14/2011
I read the previous story, and all of these chapters before reviewing...and I must say they were really good.
What next? I'm adding you to the story alert, my first for an InkHeart series!
| Sauron Gorthaur chapter 4 . 12/20/2010
Nice work! I think this is your best chapter yet. First, I liked seeing the dialogue, and as in "Dustfinger and Resa" your dialogue is your strongest point. You did a good job with Dustfinger, the way he has of just popping up out of nowhere and surprising people. Also, it was characteristic of him that his first worry when he learns that Mo's dead is about how he's going to get back.
Also, good job with Resa and her emotions. The tear sliding down her cheek was a good part - it showed her emotions instead of explaining them, that she's sad, but she's got enough self-control to not start sobbing.
I hope you're not too busy to update again soon. Good work with this chapter. I look forward to reading more.
| imaginationskyfly chapter 3 . 10/25/2010
you should make the chapters a little longer. oh and.. UPDATE SOON!
| Sauron Gorthaur chapter 3 . 10/22/2010
My favorite sentence in this chapter was "It had taken some time to convince Elinor that some T.V. programs were educational..." That is so much like Elinor. I would love to see that scene and how Resa finally convinced stubborn Elinor to get a T.V. Maybe that is something you could consider doing, since all of your chapters have been really short and haven't had any character interactions yet. I remember from "Dustfinger and Resa" that you can do good dialogue and interactions, especially for Resa, so I would love to see more of that in this story. Since you have an interesting, neat idea, don't feel like you have to rush it, even if it means it takes you longer to write it and update. I would enjoy it even more if you took your time and showed some of characters interacting. (How does Elinor feel about Mo's death, for instance? And when are we, the readers, going to personally meet the twins?) Hopefully, this will give you some food for thought.
Keep on writing!
P.S. Could I put this story in my Dustfinger and Resa C2?
| Sauron Gorthaur chapter 2 . 9/20/2010
Poor Mo! Poor Folchart family! Wow, that's a really drastic move, even for an AU story, but it could definately add some interesting twists and turns, especially when Dustfinger turns up and discovers she single. ;)
As I commented on the first chapter, I can't imagine Resa talking about Mo's death in such a matter-of-fact way. Maybe you could put some more emotion into this, showing her horror and grief about his death. That would make it more realistic. If you need a prompt, read the scene from Inkspell where Mo is shot, as that is a great chapter for how Resa reacts when she thinks she's about to lose Mo. Use how she acts in that chapter to write this, and it will add a lot to it.
Keep on writing!
| Sauron Gorthaur chapter 1 . 9/8/2010
Wow, that's an interesting and shocking start to a new story: Mo's dead! And Resa has two more children! There aren't a whole lot of really plot-changing AU Inkheart stories, so this is a really cool idea, sad, but cool. I am very interested to see where you end up going with this. Anyway, this is a great prologue to hook a reader and leave them wondering what in the world is going on and what will happen. Nicely done.
As for constructive criticism, I will say this. Since you are telling the story from Resa's POV, maybe you could put more of her emotion into it. Right now, there isn't a whole lot of emotion - she's just telling us the facts. I can't imagine Mo dying and Resa talking about it so carelessly as she does here. Instead brushing it off with a comment like "And Mo died. I'll talk more of that later." you could say something like "And something terrible has happened, something I could have never believed. Mo...Mo died. I feel so lost." or something like that, where we can see her pain and grief.
Good work! Keep on writing!