Reviews for Consummation
anon chapter 18 . 3/10/2018
Dumb. Years later she does not have the same need for physical survival that she had when she was a starving. Tween on the verge of death from hunger. Her need now is for emotional fulfillment and sustenance. For hope. For unconditional understanding of not only her strength but also vulnerablities and insecurities. Guess what? Only Peeta can hive her that. It’s riscupius that in chapter 18 you’re suggesting some grand connection to gale. That ended when they no longer needed to hunt for physical survival. He was never emotional support.

“It only grows stronger the older we get, as the need to sustain becomes stronger.” what garbage.
guest chapter 1 . 3/10/2018
You really have no clue about these characters or their relationship to themselves and one another. This is truly a outrageous bad interpretation of everlark. I am sorry I clicked on this and read it. It’s really a horrendous depiction of the relationship from canon.
emmamae chapter 18 . 11/24/2017
"how many times did I try to convince myself to feel something with Peeta when I never had to convince myself with Gale? Where did those feelings go?"

Lol what? That is bullshit and you have written yourself into a corner. In canon Katniss was dean to Peeta and continually tried to deny or downplay feelings. She tried to have those feelings for Gale but really didn't. You have it backwards. If you want to write satelniss don't present it as everlark.
PoshMaraLuvsCalypso chapter 18 . 9/26/2017
thats it? FUCK YOU
Candiann25 chapter 18 . 9/13/2017
I LOVE THIS ! I'm so ready for more ! I literally read 18 chapters in like an hour ! Could not put it down ! You totally satisfied my need to read Peeta & Katnis married & sex scenes ! If only they'll make this into a mini movie with Josh & Jennifer ! Life would be complete ! Ahhhh love it ! Can't wait for more !
Ataye chapter 18 . 6/30/2017
Consummation
Do you remember why you started this as an Everlark story? When did It change for you? I'm guessing you don't and perhaps that's why it's abandoned. I don't think you have a good grasp on either canon relationship. Perhaps you have been took and shook by too much fanfic by gale stans. Perhaps you write this to redeem Gale. In doing so you have made him some kind of diety who can do no wrong has no faults and who katniss worships. He cries like a bitch and all Is forgiven. Instead of a realistic conversation that lead to forgiveness but not a resumption of friendship you went with a sex dream. You created a fantastical relationship Instead of forcing him to truly atone and accept that his friendship with Katniss was irreversibly and irrevocably changed and would never be resumed - and recognizing that their friendship was never as strong or deep as either thought.

Perhaps you think you have expanded on their post-whipping scene. Did you notice that not 2 hours afte declaring Gale is mine she wished for Peeta to hold her?
What kind of sad relationship has you declaring someone is yours but then not even thinking about that person when you want to be held to ward off your deepest fears. That right there tells you the superficial nature of their relationship. And it is SAD. What actions did she ever take to back up the declaration? She didn't even want him to remember it and she certainly never fondly recalled any kisses with Gale. And yet you have written this as though she had some deep and abiding and long term connection with him. She didn't even look to him to hold her for lasting comfort. She didn't even back up her choice of him AND THE REBELLION with any action! She didn't look to him for emotional safety. He didn't remind her of her beloved father.

Perhaps you write this because you thought the D2kiss was sexy . Do you remember her saying this isn't our woods, our mountain or orneay? Do you remember that she was barely present and felt only passive shallow physical bioticsl response to that kiss? Do you remember that she was kissing him because she was lonely and it didn't matter? That doesn't suggest deep and abiding love or attraction. That shows obligation and sad desperation - where are those feelings toward in your story.

Instead you have. Created a "great romance" that has no basis in canon and is wholly inconsistent even within your own story. If she felt what you've written then there is no reason she wouldn't be with gale in this story and in canon, even with the bombs. The reason they aren't together isn't the bombs, though they show how differentiate they view the world . These aren't together because they don't work. Look at her feelings in canon - she can't control the feelings she has for Peeta even when she wants to suppress them. She never has any spontaneous sexual or romantic feelings for Gale. Never. I defy someone to name a passage where she tells us how she truly emotionally feels about Gale that implies anything romantic or sexual and that isn't a response to his pain or manipulation. Where is it . Friendship absolutely. Platonic love yes. Sexual attraction and romantic love, no. She wanted so badly to love Gale the way he loved her but she just couldn't make herself love him that way. But boy did she she try. Here you have you've idealized a dysfunctional relationship. Katniss and Gale don't work. They don't respect or listen to each other. She can't even be vulnerable around him without his pushing her away. Roughly. His feelings always come first and she is subservient and deferential to him. Just take a look at the ship name - his full name with her as an afterthought 'niss'. That is what these two are to each other and that's why they don't work. that is canon. What you have written here is not, even close.

Peeta wouldn't tolerate this mistreatment. He would pull away and keep his distance - still cordial but he's not going to allow himself to be hurt again by her. See after the first games and before the QQ.

Honestly if katniss feels the way you've described them she should be with Gale. Buhbye. SHoo. Get away. Peeta deserves someone worthy of his love and who will love and respect him in return. She does not respect him or even like him at all here which makes for a dishonest read. In canon Katniss greatly admired and respected Peetas values and point of view and worldview. On top of that she was very much sexually attracted to him from the time she felt a rush of warmth at his smile. and also feel emotionally secure and safe with him. She could be her true vulnerable self with him and he didn't judge her or think her weak. It was HIM, then our with the bread she didn't want to lose.

You seem to have given all these characteristics to her relationship with Gale while making Peeta a cardboard cutout of his true self. You have actually made it seem that Peetas own son even prefers gale. Just, no. Really how could you do that in good conscience act like even Katniss and Peetas son would have some intrinsic connection to Gale. Seriously? That goes way too far.

Please don't continue to butcher Peetas character. Make him leave Katniss - and take his son - and find true happiness. With Delly or perhaps an original character. He deserves much more than what he's being given here. In fact, if you believe your own writing then Katniss also deserves whatever it is she wants.
Maoi chapter 18 . 6/30/2017
I was going to write a long comment but Guest below ha summed up my thoughts.

I think you've used this story as a vehicle for redeeming Gale but you've taken it seversl steps too far. The connections you describe between Gale and Katniss never existed beyond hunting. If they had, then they would have been together at the end of canon. Period. You have sidelined Peeta into a lovesick, sappy, emo, weak fool who lets Katniss run all over him and treat him like shit. Gale was the emo one, not Peeta. Peeta is the one who steps away instead of subjecting himself to her craziness. If you finish this story I hope you bring in Delly or someone as a romantic true love for Peeta. Someone who deserves him. This story is imbalanced and there's no reason for Peeta and katniss to be together. You have written it so that gale is seemingly her everything. If that's the story you want to tell them tell that and stop trying to bamboozling people into thinking this is an Everlark story. It isn't.

Seriously, you have even made it so that Peetas son prefers Gale. Come on! What. The. Actual. F*ck. The connections you describe just didn't exist beyond hunting. You have conflated a connection based on basic survival needs with some emotional survival needs. They aren't the same and some friends are only meant to be in a life for a season and a specific reason. That's the case with Katniss and Gale and you're making it into some great love. She never shared anything of her vulnerabilities with him. Actually one time she did and he pushed her away roughly! This was no great love. They didn't even respect each other's opinions if differed.

Please don't continue to butcher Peeta's character as you have. Even in this last chapter you have her angling toward Gale as though she - and even her son - can't resist! I mean really. Come on. Perhaps you realized your shortcomings as a writer and decided to stop writing this. Good! Don't listen to all these positive reviews. They're bullshit.
Guest chapter 18 . 6/11/2017
I want more!
Puppy 17 chapter 14 . 5/30/2017
The part about Katniss's mom and Peeta's dad was really funny
Abbie Delton chapter 18 . 5/14/2017
This is great. So far I like how passionate the intimacy is in sex scenes, and how sweet they are after they fight and make up. I do have some suggestions, if I may. If you wish to make it more suspensful, or even more dramatic, I would try to maybe put Katniss in some kind of trouble or dangerous situation. And make sure to high light especially Peeta's and Gale's reaction to it. Also, while I hate to see Peeta upset, I wouldn't object to see if Gale and Peeta actually end up having some kind of showdown. Maybe not fist with fist, but something more... passive agressive if you know what I mean. For example, maybe if Gale really does still love Katniss... let him declare it and let Peeta hear it. I think that would both spice things up personally, and give more of a hook into the story to keep the reader captivated. I mean, do as you will, they're only suggestions. But other than that your story is amazing and I really feel like it fits with the books.
Guest chapter 18 . 1/11/2017
The author is clueless about the characters. A married woman having the kind of thoughts she has for Gale is an unfaithful slut. And she isn't even sorry. Nonsense.
Guest chapter 1 . 12/30/2016
OMGGGG! XD
Makeda chapter 1 . 12/20/2016
Hi. Just reread this (well. Some parts anyway. Others I skipped.). Anyway are you planning to finish?
Guest chapter 18 . 12/11/2016
I'm not sure what to make of Katniss's relationship with Gale in this fic. At times, it seemed like the writer was trying to portray it as platonic, and Katniss acted the way she did because she desperately missed their close friendship. Other times, it seemed like Katniss had feelings for Gale, and Peeta was only chosen by default because Gale didn't come back to D12. I suspect it's the former, but the intensity of Katniss's emotions when she was physically near Gale, and the language used to describe their relationship ("two parts, one being", "we didn't need to talk to know what the other was thinking or feeling. Being with Gale was always effortless", "we can hear each other's heart beats from a mile way"), suggested the latter. The sex dream was particularly damning. I'm not sure where the writer was going with that- did Katniss have that dream because she was sad that Gale did not come back to D12 for her, and confused it with having (sexual) feelings for Gale? If that was the case, the dream was the wrong way to go. In creative writing, dreams are always windows into the subconscious, and a look into a character's repressed feelings. Katniss having a dream where Peeta's lips are "wrong" and where she loved Gale romantically and passionately suggests those are her true feelings. It felt like unnecessary drama, so I'm not surprised so many people blew up in the reviews for ch.9-11 and for ch.18.

Another problem is there's a lot of inconsistencies in Katniss's thoughts. She says she was self-sufficient with Gale and dependent on Peeta, yet describes herself and Gale as "two parts, one being", and later says she depended on Gale "day in and day out". She says she never thought of Gale "that way" but later views Gale as "two people destined to fall in love with one another" without the game, etc, and also says "how many times did I try to convince myself to feel something with Peeta when I never had to convince myself with Gale? Where did those feelings go?" Combined with the language Katniss uses to describe her feelings when she's around Gale, it makes it seem like she's just rationalizing and suppressing her feelings for Gale- feelings which are much stronger and more passionate than her feelings for Peeta. As another review said, it really undermines the relationship of the main pairing.

I also have to say this: I think the author's interpretation of Gale and Katniss's relationship is way off. Katniss didn't have some magical psychic link to Gale. Yes, they could anticipate each others thoughts and movements during hunting, but their silence wasn't a form of bonding or communication, as implied in this fic. In fact, it was the opposite. As we found out in MJ, Gale and Katniss didn't really understand each other all that much, and they weren't all that similar. They never talked much about their lives (she didn't know about all the girls he kissed for example), unlike she and Peeta did during the victory tour. Their relationship was built on a mutual need for survival, and little else. Once Snow's fascist regime was taken down, what Katniss needed was no longer food, but hope, and so their relationship ended. Also, Katniss would not equate her morality to Gale's. She was absolutely horrified at his strategy for the Nut, as well as his "traps" that he designed with Beetee, and she would judge him for it. For that reason, she would never forgive him for Prim, even if he came back to 12.
Chlaco chapter 18 . 12/10/2016
Horse meat knew. What the f? Automatic! Autocorrect!
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