|Reviews for A fathers roar|
| IceKat9494 chapter 4 . 5/30/2013
This story is awesome! update soon! I love the way you made Bardock's attitude change. I like, hell, I WRITE stories like that :P Keep writing!
| Alexa Hiwatari chapter 4 . 3/8/2012
| Gotik Freesja chapter 4 . 3/1/2011
Ok... Not bad! But it has been a long time! _ I like this chapter but maybe it is too short so the events occur too fast... Anyway, the story is interesting! Update soon! _
| Hi chapter 4 . 2/27/2011
Yes saiyans are capable of punching through someone if they are strong enough and want to end something quickly. But they don't do it much because they usually enjoy a challenging fight.
| Gotik Freesja chapter 3 . 9/14/2010
Not bad, actually! Update soon!
| J.W. Appel chapter 3 . 9/9/2010
Not bad at all! Well written and unique. Keep it up.
| Gothic-Romantic99 chapter 3 . 9/9/2010
This is pretty good so far. It is a unique idea, and while I have read a few kidnapping stories, never have I come across one focused on Raditz.
I think you did a great job with the characters. Bardock is tough as I would imagine a Saiyan father would be when training his children. The fact that he regrets his words and immediately goes in search of his son once he is kidnapped shows just how good of a father he is. Yisha is an interesting character, she is tough yet loving, a good mother figure.
The kidnappers are intriguing as well. I like the conversation of how much they are ransoming him for. I really like that the leader has some personal beef with Bardock. This sounds like something's going to heat up in the next chapter. They are interesting characters so I hope you'll do more with them in the next chapter. Great job of coming up with the names and using puns as a way of staying true to the series.
The plot is interesting but the writing can use some work. More details can help the reader understand where this story is taking place, what the characters look like, how Raditz is feeling, etc. There are some good moments in here such as when Raditz backs away from the window, I could tell what he is feeling. But there are other times when it's a little vague. For instance, the child was just tied up and I don't know if he's frightened, angry, ashamed of his weakness for not being able to escape, etc.
There are lots of spelling and grammar mistakes which can frustrate and turn readers away. This can be easily fixed by proofreading. Try reading it aloud to yourself and listen for anything that sounds off.
In all I think you did a great job with this story, I await future chapters.
| Yunagirlamy chapter 3 . 9/9/2010
Grammar and punctuation needs to be worked on, but other than that, it's great!
You normally see stories like this with Goku, Gohan, Goten, Vegeta and Trunks, so it's nice to see a Bardock and Raditz one.
Keep up the good work!