Reviews for Syndicate
AonoKenshi chapter 25 . 9h ago
It's surprising how complex and captivating this story is...
...good job.
Aquarius Galuxy chapter 25 . 10h ago
Thank you thank you thank you for the update! ! ! !
At first, I was like, Hmmm Hitomi's history chapter - wonder how you'd capture reader interest with this - and then you brought in Hizashi (omg! :O) and Kurenai! I love how you have all these little bits of sentences that show how people are trying to hide something, like Hizashi stopping himself from saying certain things, and Hizashi telling Kurenai that Hitomi is different :P
And omg Neji's mother was pregnant?!
Was Hizashi even bringing Hitomi away with permission? :o or does Haruka simply not care? (I feel sorry for Hitomi - Haruka is ugh :( )
Love the comparisons between Hizashi and Hiashi! and omg Hizashi wanting Neji to marry someone he loves - I teared up at that :( Wonder if he told Neji the same? Possibly. Actually, I wonder if Neji's change of heart, since breaking up with Tenten, was because of something Hizashi said to him?
Ahhhh so Kurenai is the one to finetune Hitomi's abilities, and teach her about the dampening stones... I loved the bit about Kurenai making Hizashi take Hitomi shopping - his heavy sigh is totally like Neji omg :P and the amount of money he makes! ;) I'm thinking Neji and Tenten have enough to retire on? :P
The tarot cards were a nice touch - but omg the death card is awfully foreboding :( and Kurenai talking about Hizashi's next child - I don't remember any mention of Neji's siblings...
So nice of Hizashi to want to help Hitomi! I can see how Hitomi was close to Hizashi in a way that Neji would later come to resent :P
And we get introduced to little Neji omg!
... something bad is going to happen to Neji's mother, isn't it? :( interesting how Hitomi was able to push an image onto Neji, and how Neji was so keen on proving himself through a game :P love how Hitomi read him, even if she can't read his thoughts :P and the bit about Neji's sister omg :O
Interesting how Hitomi altered Haru's memories... I wonder why the servants around Hitomi keep changing? Love how you likened it to a carousel and Neji to a dark, silent pool :P
Oh damn it Hizashi :( I wonder where Hitomi got that memory from - or was it just a vision? :(
Omg first Hizashi, and then Neji's sister? :( :( damn it
Need to mention that I liked how Hizashi was all "I help protect the Hyuuga clan from the inside"
Cool that Hitomi has been in Konoha and even had missions/tasks and a code name :P
Totally enjoyed the capturing scene and how you described the agents as ants ;)
And I love that Akira and Suzune are in here too (or at least, Suzu got a mention)! And omg mentions of Tenten with Neji - Tenten's aura fluttering? I wonder if they've got together yet?
I like how Hitomi is able to 'see' into rooms- kind of like the modern day version of Byakugan ;)
Hiashi wearing suits instead of hakama... I wonder if that's to remember Hizashi by :( nice too that he could tell what Hitomi thought by looking at her :o
Ahhhh so Neji's involvement with Tenten helped void the engagement... I wonder about Neji's mother - haven't actually heard much about her through the story. Wonder what Haruka was positive that Hitomi would learn one day?
Love how Hiashi is all "I don't want you living with common people" ;)
Thank you soooo much for the update! I enjoyed reading it a lot - wonder how much of this Neji needs to know. Also hoping he gets to spend some time with Tenten while she's still drugged ;)
jazzberryjuice chapter 1 . 21h ago
So I visited the Updated Stories on a complete whim, and came across this, which is, without question, the BEST thing that has happened to me all day. I am absolutely blown away, and it's only the first chapter. I loved how exciting, descriptive, and fast-paced your writing is.
Although, there's this one part in the middle when Prodigy says "I won't bite, Tenten," right before he chastises her for "protocol." Did he just slip up?
And speaking of Sasuke... I'd assumed Prodigy was Neji the very first time he was mentioned! Maybe I missed a lot of clues or I've been reading too many sappy Nejiten fics (can't be good for my health, but you know)-either way, totally blindsided.
This really deserves way more recognition; I'll see what I can do about that. (;
Aquarius Galuxy chapter 24 . 1/31
Thank you thank you thank you for updating!

So glad we finally find out more about Lucia - I think it ties in well with the scientist party. Seems that Lucia isn't really an awful bad drug, but more of something that can lead to bad consequences in the wrong hands, like what happened to Tenten :( I was pretty surprised that Daichi and the rest just volunteered the information so readily - all Neji had to do was ask. lol Somehow it feels like things are going pretty smoothly on the investigation side for Neji and Tenten - Neji getting a sample, and even inside info on where the drug comes from, and little side details.
I am interested to know how Tenten will react with Neji when the drug kicks in - she has plenty of powerful memories with him, I'm sure... are they going to kiss? (please please please - I'm begging omg ;) )

Totally wasn't expecting Hitomi to pull the kiss on Tenten - could've been pretty disastrous in the Kazu situation... And I was wondering if Hitomi would pull info from Tenten, but it turns out that her source is Daichi (who has pretty much just childhood memories of Tenten, which is not too dangerous, I suppose).

Appreciate the reminder about the favor (does the mention mean Hitomi is going to use it soon?), as well as the kidnapping... I wasn't expecting Tenten's exchanges with Fumiko and Michiru - now they (plus Hitomi) are in on her real personality... what implications will that have on the case? I'm also surprised that Hitomi doesn't know (or hasn't acknowledged) that they're there because of the Lucia case... does she even know that the drug is being cracked down upon? I guess not :P

Also loved the insights into Tenten from Neji's perspective... I wonder what Shinji thinks about Neji not actually having slept with Miyako... And that tea sounds awesome (just not with the drug) ;)

I enjoyed the explanations about the characters too (and the new year tradition was a really great way to tie them all in) - Kazu trying to search for his sister, and why Fumi is so attached to Daichi. Is Michiru's "I guess I'm not the only one good at acting" referring to Tenten or Daichi being a good actor? :o I didn't interpret Miyako's interactions with him as flirting... kinda strange how everyone's telling her not to break him and Fumiko apart :o

Totally looking forward to Neji getting all furious about the Kazu-Tenten incident... he's not going to be happy lol ;) ;) It was really nice of Fumiko to help Miyako though - she's a deeper character than I assumed, wonder what else there is to her?

Wonder what Tenten's best and worst parts of the year are... Is Neji going to ask? ;) Wellll but then again, she's not going to be too happy with him about the fiance thing :(

Also wondering what Hitomi thinks about Neji and Miyako - she knows how Neji is... and playboy Neji is uncharacteristically? protective over Miyako... is she going to connect the dots about Tenten? She knows how Neji is very uncertain about something... and she also knows that Miyako isn't quite Miyako... of course from the reader's perspective, we all know how Neji and Tenten have a lot of history together :P

And why did Hitomi drug Miyako? ? ? ? totally curious.
I like how Tenten is all over Neji's scent ;) ;)
Okay now I'm curious about the Test - how bad was it?
Very interesting how you're tying the characters together with this new Aoki person... I actually liked how you had Tenten remember her past targets in Kazu...
Am intrigued by Tenten needing to protect someone... I wonder how this comes into play with her relationships later on? Like with Neji? :o
I liked the repeat of the "correlation and causality" thing... it's the third time or something this has been mentioned... and Tenten should tell that to herself with regards to Neji lol ;)
Surprised that Takeshi was worse than Kazu in high school... at least he's a lot nicer now, though I can't imagine having to watch people die like he did :(

Okay... that's the end of my super-long review... so many questions lol :P Please update soon, and thank you for updating!
AG chapter 23 . 1/18
Yesss Tenten's game face!
I do wonder how they're going to close up this mission, like whether Tenten will keep her ties with Daichi, and whether Hitomi will finally see Neji and Tenten's true faces :o
Well, at least they're still going to be sharing a bed ;)
AG chapter 20 . 1/17
Loved this chapter too. I appreciated how you shaped Kurenai into the illusionist... very fitting. Love the whole damage control in the last bit - Just noticed that Tenten mentioned changing the chain, but not necessarily the pendant... so does that mean she's just swapped out the necklace chain, while keeping the pendant? :o
AG chapter 19 . 1/14
Prodigy is still one of my favorite chapters to date. I love the hesitancy in it, the way they know each other, and how quickly and how well they fell together. Loved the last few explanations/ descriptions... very bittersweet. And also very sensual, and full of tension. I dunno, I'm just filled with such love amd my chest aches for them :( wonder how Lee and Gai took the news when they broke up? :o
AG chapter 18 . 1/14
Turns out that I've still been guessing wrongly lol... so Sasuke is really not part of this mission and Hiashi said all that to Neji while knowing that Neji is going back undercover. So bittersweet knowing that Neji is willing to give up so much, and pull second chances and stuff just for Tenten. Did he have control over how much he was in the spotlight before he had to quit being a spy though? :o
Lol I stilll would love to know what filthy things Neji could/had said to Tenten ;)
I wonder if Lee and Gai knew just how close Tenten and Neji were? :o
I love Neji's 'Takeshi isn't fit for a dragon', with the added layer that that's Tenten's codename ;)
Totally enjoyed their dinner conversation... all the masks and the hidden meanings ;)
AG chapter 17 . 1/14
Lol I can't believe how off I was while speculating in my review for this chapter - Neji's code 'I'm here for you' actually really refers to the mission... he is very perceptive in a sensory way, that kind of reminds me of Hitomi... like how he senses the presence of people and stuff :o was surprised that Hitomi didn't realize Neji and Tenten were in the closet, though I guess they might not have been thinking, and were just watching instead.
Love Neji's drunken persona ;) and how Tenten didn't want him to leave - did the kiss change her mind? ;)
Still wondering about the New Year's meeting... we aren't even there yet!
AG chapter 16 . 1/14
I forgot to mention in the previous review that I totally smiled when Hitomi told Miyako that the apple pendant didn't suit her XD the perfume though - I guess Miyako wearing it is fine, since it's not really Tenten wearing it, but her cover :P
Interesting that Tenten never found out about the engagement... I also liked that Neji saw Suzu briefly and recognized her :P
Am thinking Hitomi's apartment being on the 13th floor is a nod to her being a 'monster' :P
I wonder what Neji's taste in apartment rooms is like :P sorry to hear that Neji is scared when it comes to Tenten... but it's bittersweet and good :P wonder what he meant by Sasuke being a wild card. Also interesting that his dream was kind of a foreshadow - tenten going down wide stairs in a red dress. Guess we know why he needed to be the one walking her down ;)
Totally snickered at Neji thinking himself better than Hitomi ;)
Haha! Hitomi's remark on winning a woman who's bound to her job... that is totally the story of Neji's life lol :P
I love smug Neii lol :P
Am appreciating Hitomi's abilities a lot better now - funny how Neji's all 'who is Miyako' when he's able to read her just from Hitomi's memory of her ;)
AG chapter 15 . 1/14
AHHHH NEJI! his appearance put such a big smile on my face like you can't imagine. I mean, I knew it was going to happen but ahhhh! Pretty sure he was totally looking forward to surprising her lol :P I wonder if he distracted Takeshi away from Miyako somehow on purpose? Ha now the pics from that night would be Neji and Miyako... I kind of like that idea ;)
Looking back on it, I read Hitomi's conversation with Miyako with better understanding now -wonder what kind of favor Hitomi would ask for :o Will have to read on to find out more about what else Hitomi thinks of Miyako :P
Was kind of surprised with the the idea of Miyako being photographed, but the mask sure helps a lot :P
AG chapter 14 . 1/12
(Because FFN won't let me post a review twice on a chapter)
Naruto is hilarious here! (And Hinata is awesome and sure has him hen-pecked... but then again, I can't expect any less of a former agent) I wonder why Neji lied to Hinata and Sadako - because his answer to "why are you doing this" really isn't "because I can", but because he's trying to pursue Tenten. I like that he acknowledged that there's the possibility that he's lost the relationship (ouch)
Also wondering why Tenten had to upset Suzune to that extent (and Suzune certainly has let herself slip in terms of reaction)... I'm surprised that Suzune expects Tenten not to use Takeshi, considering that she was a former spy... I think there might be a missing line break or something? After 20:39.. the scene changes abruptly from Takeshi's place to Neji :o
Tenten gave Neji cufflinks? :P I wonder what sort they were :P
Hmmm, I'm actually surprised that Hiashi seems not to be aware of Neji's plan to join the investigation in Sendai :o The inheritance issue sounds interesting, and I wonder how Hiashi even decided on sending Neji to Sendai in the first place? Or had Neji already pulled strings in Sendai with Hitomi, who then contacted Hiashi? :o
But LOL Neji actually shouted at Hiashi for the sake of feeding the reporter gossip material? :P I'm guessing Hiashi was surprised at the uncharacteristic outburst, but amused at the same time... just that he doesn't like his doors being slammed :P
Well, at least Neji is aware that Tenten doesn't forgive easily lol :P
Oh god LOL Sasuke trying to insult Neji's manhood... I just burst out laughing :P I guess Neji's favor to Ino was to meet Tenten, to free Sasuke up for herself ;) and the rest of their barbs OMG that was just gold.
The para just before 'she kissed me back' - the POV switches between Neji and Sasuke, which makes it a little confusing. I really enjoyed their exchange though. I like how Neji hit the nail on the head with his assessment of what Sasuke means to Tenten, and then Sasuke's comeback about Tenten kissing him (but she thought she was kissing Neji, though neither man knows that lol)
Hadn't intended to leave that long a review... wow :o
Aquarius Galuxy chapter 13 . 1/12
Okay now I want to know what sort of Christmas present Tenten received that was too inappropriate to be opened in front of others :P Loved her meeting with Kakashi. It was really nice to have a reminder of 'home' in the midst of the mission. I was grinning so hard when Neji called Sasuke LOL.. Sasuke talking like it was Naruto down the line ;)
Aquarius Galuxy chapter 12 . 1/11
Tenten's mission here was really nerve wracking.
I enjoyed Neji's conversation with Sadako - why was he in such a state though? Love how you're giving him different personalities... interesting to see that Sacchan doesn't know what Neji's up to :P LOL He's sure confident that he still means so much to Tenten... poor Neji.
Aquarius Galuxy chapter 10 . 1/11
Love love how you keep reminding Tenten of Neji and Sasuke by them chastising hee in her mind. Also love the way you introduced Suzu's history - will the agent she helped come back in the future?
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