|Reviews for West of the Moon|
| bee chapter 6 . 11/22/2011
i loved this from ch1 (yeah, i really liked the idea of bad mafia jim, but i loved the way you turned him into awesome good jim aswell).
love your plot and characters! and all deviations from reboot are so (well) logical... and i like the fact that the nero plotline isn't just a copy of the movie. probably my favourite au (but atlas's still in the race).
this is the longest review i've ever written - aaand had to rewrite it since explorer choose to die halfway through! that's how much i love this story (and your writing in general)!
so this is me begging you for an update - i'll do anything for one (well, almost)! please update, can't wait to read more about the spock/jim realtionship and the dynamic of the command crew!
love bee :)
| StrictlySomething chapter 6 . 11/7/2011
This is brilliantly done. Your writing is superb, and I just love what you've done with Jim, and Spock, and Chekov, and Bones. The whole damn crew is absolutely fantastic!
| melisa chapter 6 . 10/24/2011
Would really love to see this continued. Love all the characters and how you have them interact. Thank you for a great story so far.
| A Tye chapter 6 . 10/21/2011
I really hope this story hasn't been abandoned. This has to be the best ST2009 AU I've read, and I sincerly hope to see it continue. Ether was it's a heat story, with a premise that I would have never imagined working so well before I read it.
| nvreq chapter 6 . 9/17/2011
I love the way this story proceeds...where Jim's identified by his position in the mafia, then we later find out he's actually legit and now he's working hard at the academy. His transition into the reboot story line is amazing and one that I feel works well.
I loved reading this story from the beginning and I can't wait to find out what will happen next in this story!
| Szevick chapter 6 . 9/7/2011
So, I would just like to say first of all, I finished iAtlas/i (all four arcs) - which I loved every bit of and have formatted it into a PDF for reading on my nook because I'm a big fan of re-reading things that draw me in that deeply - and I apologize for not reviewing. I was just so thirsty for more of your work - as I happen to quite enjoy your writing style and author's voice. I love your character incites and the nuances that you use to masterfully weave together so many details and plot points. So, instead of being a good reader and reviewing Atlas, I had to get into more of your work.
And if there's one thing that makes me regret missing out on the Star Trek XI Kink-meme, it's that I never got to request a nu!Trek 'A Piece of the Action' rewrite with K/S overtones, of course. It had been my intention to before an unfortunate event thoroughly distracted me from my usual diversions and I forgot it somewhere along the way. I didn't even realize how much I really wanted it either until I read iWest of the Moon/i and fell absolutely in love, AGAIN, with your writing. I can't express how much I enjoy this story and how much I hope that you'll post more. I really want to read this to its finish and I find myself distracted from my own writing by yearning for more. I love WotM!Jim as much as I love Atlas!Jim and I really can't wait to see if/how Spock comes to terms with his trust issues concerning Jim and (hopefully) allows himself to see Jim for who (and how brilliant) he is.
I did notice some spelling mistakes and a few missing words (mostly 2 letter prepositions) but otherwise the flow of this story was very engaging and the very few mistakes were not distracting, just noticeable. I eagerly await the next installment and have added you to my favorites and author alert - cause frankly, you rock.
Oh, and by the by, I'm a fan of your AN's and your many references. Hail to the geeks! And I hope your novel is going well.
Much Love & Praise from Szevick K.
| Hanged Man chapter 6 . 9/4/2011
Great story! Atlas rocked, too. You are by far my favorite Fanfiction author-heck, you're one of my favorite authors, period. I hope publication is in your future.
| Killingmemory chapter 6 . 9/1/2011
This story is such an epic fanfic win. It makes me so sad that it hasn't been updated since April, because I think I might seriously go into withdrawal if I can't somehow magically read the rest of it tonight. I hope grad school's going well for you, but please try to manage a break from RL to update this story. Massive props on your creation of such a believable and well thought out alternate universe. I was skeptical when I read the summary, but I've got to say you really sold the whole concept of alternate mafia!Jim and somehow made it work seamlessly with the Startrek canon. Your writing style is wonderful as well. Faved and subbed!
| sierra's scarlet chapter 6 . 8/24/2011
Well, this is a fun read so far - I'm very glad you didn't kill Bones back there. I didn't think you would, but it was hard to say. As for the rest, hope you're doing all right with schooling and that you'll update again sometime. Thanks for the read.
| Zephairy chapter 6 . 8/17/2011
Just read through chapter 1 till 6 and I really like the story so far.
Although I must admit that I thought like Sulu in the beginning "Mafia in the future?" I was a bit sceptic how you would achieve Jim going to Starfleet Academy even if I had the suspicion that he was some kind of undercover agent from the get-go.
I think it was very realistic how the other characters reacted and Spock is in so much denial right now, poor guy.
Also I think it was a good idea to go a bit faster through the happenings of the movie and only to describe the differences in more detail.
Can't wait to read when Spock has to admit that Jim Kirk isn't so much different from Jim Scaretta (as in brilliant, intriguing, kind, brave, pretty) at all.
| looking for chapter 6 . 7/23/2011
OH MY GOODNESS.
I love this. Very much.
To be honest, the concept of mafia in the star trek 'verse didn't attract me in the beginning. But of course, like all good fics, this one grew on me.
This AU Jim is very fascinating (also... just the whole AU in general. Hahaha). He takes the damaged Jim we see in other fics to a new level, and I love how you described him as he changed façades.
Also, the crew's dedication to him is adorable.
Spock and Jim need to happen. Soon. :)
The only thing I wish you would do is have more specific scenes, not necessarily a part of the major plot. But that is really a personal preference. And your writing is great as it is.
Can't wait for your next installment!
| aewriteon chapter 6 . 7/11/2011
Wow! This is a really well-written, suspenseful story. I'm not always a fan of AU, but you've pulled it off so well. I can't wait to read more.
| Aevylonya chapter 6 . 7/4/2011
So I finally got around to reading this! Honestly, I've just been postponing due to the knowledge that when I finished this chapter, there wouldn't be any more to read, which makes me sad. Naturally, I trust that you will update soon, so as not to enhance my lack-of-"West of the Moon"-induced depression.
This chapter was very rushed, but given its function in your story, one couldn't really expect anything else. It was still interesting, though, and, as always, well-written. :)
I enjoyed Kirk's slightly adolescent way of discrediting Spock's Kobayashi Maru. Their verbal sparring sessions are always made of win. Kirk's trapping Spock against his own Captain's chair was, needless to say, awesome. You write so that I get very vivid images in my mind, and this scene was particularly visual. Great job.
Well, I don't have much more to say this time, so I'll cut this review short(ish).
I sincerely hope you have the time and inspiration to update soon. I will certainly be awaiting the next chapter with eager anticipation.
| Wingweaver1661 chapter 6 . 7/2/2011
This was very intriguing. I am looking forward to the next chapter so i can see what happens next!
| Aevylonya chapter 5 . 6/17/2011
So I'm FINALLY done with finals! Which means I get to continue reading your story - wooo!
As per usual, the reviewing-while-reading method is the only way to go.
"Your rationalizations are showing" - this made me laugh.
I continue to enjoy your Chekov - he's such a little boy.
I'm not sure about the representation of Scotty's accent. I know people, in fanfiction, tend to use "cannae" and similar varieties, but I don't really get this. Scottish dialects don't really sound anything like that. It is, naturally, your artistic prerogative to write it any way you like, but in this chapter, the accent sort of put me off a little. An example: "doesn't". "Doesnae" sounds like he just sneezed. The correct Scottish pronunciation entails a slightly dark, thick 'O', and a stopped 'T'. I would write it, simply, "doesn'". Or, otherwise, I would just write it normally.
On a different note, who COULD this mystery student be? I wonder, I wonder ... Personally, I'm totally mystified. I mean, I haven't got the faintest clue as to - OH MY GOD, IT'S JIM! I COULD NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS HAVE GUESSED! MY MIND! IT'S BOGGLING! IT'S JUST COMPLETELY UNBELIEVABLE. I MEAN, HOW -
Ok, sorry, cutting that out now. ;) And go Chekov, being all sneaky and manipulative. Well, you know what they say about Russians: they're sneaky and awesome.
As with Atlas, I'm very reserved about the super-Jim factor. I don't generally like it when characters are too awesome. But I will hold off on making any judgements on this scenario until I've read more. I do really hope you're going to give him a serious weakness though. Or maybe fourteen. ;)
I adored the confrontation between Kirk and Spock. Go figure Spock wouldn't be happy with the charade. But is it a charade, though, or is Jim just taking back an old life he had discarded?
Jim shirtless - well, it was about time! This is Jim Kirk, after all. Too much shirt-wearing is no doubt fatal to him. I'm interested in these scars though. I'm sure there's some horrendous tale behind them. Suspense! McCoy, for his part, is intensely McCoy. His technofear is such a brilliant thing - makes for so many comedic moments. I liked his comment about machines' malfunctioning without warning. Because they usually let you know beforehand ... :P Plus, the birth of "Bones". Excellent.
Chekov and Sulu continue to be cute.
Kirk's odd moods - I like. Flirting with everyone? Well, this is Jim Kirk. I notice you didn't add inanimate objects to your list, but you really should. :P I'm liking these mildly mean and destructive tendencies though. Very intriguing (yes, I'm still weird about that kind of stuff). His PTSD is also intriguing. I like that you're giving him weaknesses. My previously deferred judgement is becoming gradually positive to the super(or perhaps not so super)-Jim situation. I knew you wouldn't disappoint. ;)
The second Kirk-Spock encounter was also extremely good. The tension between them is tangible - I love it.
Kirk and Chekov plotting Spock's downfall together is just so fantastic that I don't even have words. Ok, so I just had words, but still, awesome. And end chapter.
It's late now, so I'll defer the reading of chapter 6 until tomorrow, but I'm moving dangerously close to the end of the line here, as far as posted content goes, so I'm going to be annoying sooner rather than later and bid you to update soon! I'm glad I have one more chapter though, because, man, I'm enjoying myself.
One little thing though. There were an inordinate number of little errors in this chapter, and I'm not used to finding these in your writing. All of them were very clearly just typos, but still, it breaks the flow of what is otherwise such spectacular writing that I couldn't let said errors pass unnoticed.
But I'm not going to end this insanely long review on a negative note, so I'll finish by saying that I still love you, and I'm excited about the next instalment which I will hopefully get to read tomorrow.
I am afraid you have long been desiring my absence. I will leave you now. ;)