|Reviews for West of the Moon|
| Aevylonya chapter 4 . 5/29/2011
I always need to do the review-while-reading thing with your chapters, because there's so much to talk about! I love that. You rock my socks.
I like the beginning a lot. The idea that Kirk is so good at camouflaging his true character that not even Uhura could read him is ... quite delicious. "She knew him. He was a stranger. The statements couldn't both be true." - loved this. The conversation between Kirk and Uhura is interesting. As for the smoking, on the one hand, I'm glad Kirk isn't going to get lung cancer, on the other hand, I liked the fact that he had this bad habit. It made him seem human, vulnerable.
Getting really skeptical now ... he's only pretend killed a lot of people? This should make me happy. Seriously, there's something very very wrong with me ...
Aaand, McCoy's alive. On one hand, YAY! Because McCoy kicks some serious butt. On the other hand, NOOO! Because it means Jim's not nearly as badass as I'd hoped. Still, though, yay Bones!
Ok, so I really like how intricately you've explained the whole process of Jim's undercover mission. Your attention to detail makes your writing so much more interesting than that of many other fanfiction authors.
The scene with Chekov was unbelievably sweet. Poor, lonely Kirk. And I just loved that Chekov hugged him. Go Chekov. He's a dear.
"You are a fool, Commander Spock." Oooo, feisty Chekov. Very nice.
I like your Spock at the end here. He's, as always, very much in character. I also enjoyed the ending.
I have to do some university related reading now, but I'll be continuing with this as soon as I have the chance. Despite my unfulfilled need for more badassery from Kirk, I'm really enjoying this. ;)
| Aevylonya chapter 3 . 5/28/2011
To begin with, I have to say, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Ok, that's done with.
Now, on to business. Ok, so you were right about my not being all too crazy about this turn of events. But I'm reserving judgment until I've read some more. And I still love Jim. His snark almost makes up for his goody two-shoes act. Almost. ;)
I like the way you've written this chapter. You've managed to cut straight to business without making it seem like you're rushing things, and that's quite a feat.
"... single most publicized event no one was allowed to talk about" reminded me of Harry Potter. It's in Philosopher's Stone: Dumbledore says to Harry, "What happened between you and Quirrel is a complete secret, so, naturally, the whole school knows." Not a very relevant point, but it made me smile.
I didn't mention this before, but I really like the name Scaretta. Just throwing that out there.
Those mobsters sure are some foul-mouthed guys, I tell you! Their mothers clearly never taught them any manners at all.
"Thank you, Detective. It's good to be appreciated." This made me laugh.
I wanted to hug Jim when you described his injury, by the way. Or, better yet, I wanted Spock to run over and hug him. Or kiss him. Or lick him. Or something less inappropriate. (Yes, I'm repeating my previous joke for humorous effect. Did I mention I'm hilarious?)
And I loved Scotty in this chapter, wishing his friends were machines so he could fix them ... Poor guy. Poor, sweet little Scottish man. Generally, I continue to adore the way you portray the different characters. And the small element of Sulu/Chekov makes me smile. I've never actively shipped them, but I think they're very cute.
Despite my need for some more badass kill-em-all Jim, it still was a little funky that he turned out to be an undercover guy. Honestly, though, it was one of my theories. I've actually been thinking about it since chapter one. I just, you know, hoped I was wrong. ;) Haha.
No, seriously, I'm convinced this is going to be super-cool in some way. And I'm totally ready to have my mind boggled, so, you know, no pressure.
(Yes, I'm repeating your own comment for humorous effect. Once more, I must state for the record, that I am, in fact, hilarious. I'm on a horse.)
| wings in the night chapter 6 . 5/27/2011
I've honestly read this story like 5 times, I still love it every time! Keep updatingI love the style of your writing!
| Aevylonya chapter 2 . 5/26/2011
Well, my official guess is that Jim is quite fine, strong and healthy somewhere, and that there is one seriously screwed over guard lying on the floor of his safe house.
Since I love the whole "bad" thing, I wasn't entirely satisfied that Jim went all "good guy", so I'm hoping he has some creepy agenda. ;)
Poor Spock though. He's always so confused, isn't he? And falling for a mobster, now, that can't possibly satisfy his ideas of the logical.
It's awesome though. And he'll know it soon enough.
Another great chapter. The length was unusual, as I've become so accustomed to its taking about an hour to read one of your chapters. And, you know, the longer it is, the more I get to read, which is, you know, cool. Still though, great chapter. Can't wait to read more!
(Again, who needs to study anyway?)
| Aevylonya chapter 1 . 5/25/2011
So, I love you. I just thought I'd throw that into the universe. I am beyond thrilled that you've decided to write another story. I'm not so thrilled that I discovered said wonder right before the three finals which determine whether or not I get my bachelor's degree, but, hey! Who needs studying when one has fanfiction, eh? Plus, one of my finals is in English grammar, and this fic is in English. So, I say it's all good.
On to business. I love your opening. Generally, beginning in medias res makes me happy. When it's done well, of course. Which this is. Not to mention that the whole idea of this fic makes me happy. So I anticipate good things. Good things.
Did you miss my painfully long reviews, by the way? Because if not ... then ... too bad.
Chekov is, naturally, amazing, and you capture his character very well. I am, of course, more familiar with the TOS counterparts, and this, I see, is Abrams universe. Still though, good Chekov. McCoy is also amazing, and I didn't need his name to know who he was. I think he'd said about two words before I immediately recognized his character.
And can I just say that car-driving, suit-toting, cigarette-smoking Jim is just about the most delicious thing my brain has ever envisioned? Well, perhaps apart from Mr. Darcy dripping wet. But then I don't have to imagine that (thank God for the BBC).
Generally, though, I love your AU Jim. He's so snarky I want to ... lick him. Or something less inappropriate. His first encounter with Spock was absolutely glorious. You write dialogue spectacularly. It flows well, and it flows quickly.
And your Mafia-speak is also wonderful. Hilarious, because, well, it's Mafia-speak, but just great.
Oh, and Jacopo - I'm glad you didn't blow him up or anything, because he makes me think of "The Count of Monte Cristo", and that makes me happy.
And I have to add that I love badass Jim. I'm just such a sucker for tension and drama, not to mention the systematic warping of good souls.
In short (haha, yeah right), this was a fantastic beginning. I love your style. Your prose flows so smoothly, yet it's inventive and interesting. You made me laugh out loud at least four times during the course of this chapter, and trust me when I say that's not altogether a simple feat.
My only minus at this point is that, despite the fact that I really like how you've split this part into months, my experience is that because so much time passes, and so little is really seen of Jim, I'm left with the feeling that the Starfleet gang's "friendship" with him is slightly illogical. Like, despite the fact that a year has passed, they wouldn't have had the time to get to know him properly.
Small point though. Teensy.
So I would like to continue straight away, but there's this little thing I have to do called sleeping. But I will be continuing this as soon as I have the opportunity (which will probably be tomorrow, at breakfast).
| 0-Silver Goddess-0 chapter 6 . 5/15/2011
Oh man, Im so excited to read another one of your stories after atlas and HOLY HELL its good! I cannot WAIT for more!
| Kat chapter 6 . 5/13/2011
I kind of hope that your Spock makes Kirk work for it a little more than the movie version. It's hard to forgive when you feel so very much and I think it's interesting dichotomy...the humans forgiving Kirk so much easier than Spock. Spock really stands alone with his hurt, his stubbornness, his prejudice and it makes me sad for him. Although I'm not sure Kirk deserves him that while he is brilliant at everything he does, a true hero..he also burns people(even those closest) not maliciously but with the understanding that the ends justifies the means, sacrifices have to be made. Not someone I would trust my heart to, my life yes my heart - No. Anyway I'm think that your story emotionally just hits in all the right spots. Can't wait to see where it goes.
| DarlingDahlia chapter 6 . 5/13/2011
Oh my oh my oh my.
Are you a wizard or what -
I do not even -
I THINK YOU BLEACHED MY BRAIN! I CANNOT THINK OF WORDS THAT ARE SUFFICIENT TO DESCRIBE HOW I LOVE THIS STORY.
I mean, until now it's not as great as Atlas, which is the goddess of K/S, and unbeatable, but it's close. You're keeping me on the edge of my seat, and I want more!
Please continue as soon as possible, or I'll become a plant and die. Or... something. GOOD LORD YOU BLEACHED MY BRAIN! I AM MAKING NO SENSE!
| Dread Pirate Rinja chapter 6 . 5/11/2011
asdklfjaksldf! Atlas is still, by a long shot, one of my favorite fanfics EVER, but. Um. This one is really, really finding its way to the top at the moment. Not sure how I missed this being posted for so long (FAIL, SELF), though I'm so glad I went poking around your page after re-reading Atlas for the bazillionth time! I actually *SHRIEKED* when I saw that there was no "next" button, homg.
Noir-esque mafia fics are my KRYPTONITE, I just eat them up like candy until I have more cavities than teeth! And the way you managed to incorporate the genre into the Star Trek universe... ajsdkfl woman, why are you so awesome. ;A; This is just so fjaksldf fantastic and glorious and GRAHH WHY DID I FIND THIS SO LATE (or should I be saying, WHY DID I FIND THIS BEFORE IT WAS COMPLETE hahaha)! I'm so glad to have another awesome in-progress fic to track updates on, because I haven't been this excited for one since Atlas was completed. (I AM NOT KIDDING.) *sets up camp for further updates* C":
(AND YES I AM AWARE that updates take time, especially since you're in grad school now, but I AM A PATIENT READER, I PROMISE! ;w;b)
| Penapree T. Novella chapter 6 . 5/10/2011
Wow...found this story on a friend's favorite list, and boy, am I so ever glad about it! You kept me on my toes every chapter, desperate to know what happens next. The excitement builds and I can't wait to see how the story progresses. I like how you characterized Jim and the others - and how close they are. I hope that Spock would realize how foolish his attitude toward Jim is. Love how Jim tackled the Kobayashi...and knowing your super-awesome writing skills, that wouldn't be the last exciting thing that Jim will do. Yay! Can't wait for the next update. I'm gonna check out your other stuff!
| Radishgirl36 chapter 6 . 5/8/2011
Woohoo! New Chapter! Sorry I'm a bit late with my review I too had school and finals. Which are evil.
Spock and Jim's relationship just keeps getting rockier doesn't it? He has to hurt him for his own good and the good of the world but it really tears him up too. It's sad. In a good way.
I thought Vulcan might actually be saved this time around and when it imploded I felt Jim's shock/horror b/c I'd been hoping he could save them this time around... Though I have a good feeling that the Terran woman Jim helps in the orphange was Spock's mother. I hope so. Can't wait to see what happens next. Hope school is going well for you (or is over that'd be even better)!
| Romanse chapter 6 . 4/30/2011
Your writing skills never cease to amaze me. I truly believed there was no way you could top the brilliance of "Atlas" but oh how soundly wrong I've been proven!
You've done it again and I don't even know if you realize just how awesome your storytelling skills are.
In a nutshell: you are a creative genius. The story you have in your head plays out like a movie when you put it to words.
Am I dyin' knowing that I've read all there is? YUP. It's painful...I'm just sayin'.
| wildchartermage chapter 6 . 4/30/2011
OO lalala, I"m so happy you updated! this story is getting too interesting! :D Kinda hard to see the eventual K/S relationship at this point...but I'm sure you'll work your magic and it will happen? :P
| rpln chapter 6 . 4/29/2011
*waves hand* I would have wanted to do your metadata project. mmmm metadata. I got an A on mine XP
Wonderful chapter as always. I can't wait to see where this is going to lead.