Reviews for Memories
Zoja chapter 1 . 5/3/2011
I read the story again today... I didn't leave the review before and I wasn't planning to write it today but I decided I will. It's going to be very long one, probably the longest one I have ever written.

I see you have the same opinion about "Perestroika" as I do ;) It's very good episode, but I would change almost everything what happens after Cooper is hurt... I have many ideas what should happen and I have even one written... So I love this episode, because it's really good and a interesting case, but I hate it at the same time because Connor died... And I can't stand it... I never liked Praeger so it was even worse...

I like the story, it's really in Elsinger style... Because "Perestroika" showed us that he wanted something to happen to Connor... At least I had this feeling he did...

And I also noticed some mistakes ;) FOr the first time I will write so long reviews with many details... But I think that long reviews, where the person write what mistakes he/she noticed are the best. So, here we start:

"What about Bell Iceland?” – Wasn’t it Bell Island? I thought it was written with the word “island"... And I looked into Google and it say that the island somewhere near Canada which is probably this island is written "Bell Island". You used Iceland many times, but I didn't wanted to copy every sentence with it...

“The fact that somebody wanted Connors death scarred her.”- I think it should be with one “R” – scared. I checked it and the word “scarred” is connected with the noun “scar", not with the verb "scare"

“And she dont wanted to tell him about their situation.” – Shouldn’t it be “she didn’t want”?

"Lindsay, we know now witch car has pushed Connor off the road," - witch? I checked some dictionaries and they all say that "witch" is connected only with a person who practice magic, so it's not the best choice of word ;)

“Luckily, Connor became not suspicious.” – I would write Connor didn’t become suspicious… It sounds better...

“She came up to him and wrapped his arms around his neck” – Didn’t she wrapped her arms? :)

"Get in!," he screamed” – My teacher once told me, that somebody screams when he is in trouble, when he is very scared of something happening to him… I hope you know what I mean… I think you should use “shouted” or something like that…

Okay, that's all I noticed... I wrote it because I thought it might be helpful. I know I'm not better and I'm making a lot more mistakes. I also hope you won't kill me for it ;)

Zoja