|Reviews for Fortezza, One Year|
| Wahboop chapter 1 . 7/29/2016
AWWWWW for the story and AWWWW you never finished this! Guido was never revealed! The plot was starting to get serious! but what is here is quite good!
| zoe alice chapter 7 . 9/6/2013
Oh, wow, that was close.
| Angelitz chapter 1 . 6/2/2013
It's funny that you started this in 2010. Now, it's 2013 with City of Swords out for quite a while. Lucia and Guido are canon. Haven't read past the first chapter, but I feel like I'm reading a part missing from the books. :)
Nice job. :)
| zoe alice chapter 6 . 5/25/2013
Oh, my OTP being perfect. This is all so very romantic.
| zoe alice chapter 5 . 5/14/2013
So cuuuuute. The mock-Bellezzan ball was a great device to have them meet in another setting and question what they really saw. I like that Guido is playing along with her. It gives them this mix of camaraderie and tension.
| zoe alice chapter 4 . 5/5/2013
Yay, you updated! I hope you keep doing so, of course. I should really reread the thing as whole because of how long it's been.
Oh, Guido. I love his devotion to the people he cares about and his open-heartedness despite everything he's been through.
Just as a tip for your English (which is great!), when someone finishes speaking a declarative sentence, you punctuate it like this:
"Before the class will be dismissed today you will be divided into pairs," their teacher began.
First the comma, then the closing quotation mark. In the sentence I pulled, you had forgotten the comma. Some of your other sentences had the quotation mark first. It's not a huge deal, but I think you said before that you're okay with being corrected. I thought I'd point it out. :)
| maroulita chapter 3 . 10/21/2012
Love it! You should continue it!
| Keyheart chapter 3 . 6/25/2011
I'm a happy reader :D
But what do i do if my heart is already on the ground...?
| zoe alice chapter 3 . 3/28/2011
Oh, joy, you kept your promise! I love that we finally (hopefully) get to see them TOGETHER - it irritates me so much in stories when the two main characters get so close to each other over and over but don't notice!
I wonder why Lucia decided to take a rhetoric class... Hmm, character development! ;D
| zoe alice chapter 2 . 2/6/2011
I love these characters, and I also love what you're doing with them. I hope all twelve chapters see the light of my computer screen. :)
You have a few grammar errors, but if English isn't your native language you're actually very good.
| Dream chapter 2 . 10/9/2010
Part Two! Aww, loved it. This is awesome, keep writing (hope you will have time for it)! I really like how there's two different point of wiew.
I got City of Secrets from library! It was awesome, even there was just one part with Guido (and that part was great). And yeah, I bought City of Ships online (in English language, but it was Finnish bookshop). It will take like 6-10 days to get it.
Oh, Sweden. We're neighbours. :D Btw, your language is hard! I mean really, all this "en" and "ett" words, there's no logic in them! They will kill me. But I know something and I'm very proud of myself.
Jag heter Anni och jag är 14 år. Jag tycker om böcker. Jag gillar inte matte. Jag spelar basket.
| Lady Maeror chapter 2 . 10/8/2010
Nice chapter, keep writing :)
| Tiigerliily chapter 2 . 10/8/2010
Nice story, reminds me of City Of Secrets somehow... .
Lot's of Love
| Novindalf chapter 1 . 9/18/2010
Very interesting premise you have here! Am looking forward to reading more.
| Ragna ICE chapter 1 . 9/15/2010
*Squee* I wondered when someone would write this, it had to happen. I think you have a good set-up here thought I might criticize the first lines; I think you refer too often to things you've already said.
"The red haired man stepped of the carriage [he had arrived in]." I think the bracketed bit is unnecessary, a reader can conclude that if someone steps out of a carriage, he has arrived in it. You know what I mean?
"A servant started unloading his luggage while the man [himself] glanced over his home for this year." Since Guido is introduced as The red haired 'man' and the servant has only been mentioned once, 'himself' is unnecessary too. "[He,] Guido Parola, was finally here." Skipping 'he' and start the sentence with the name has more impact. So it would look like this:
"The red haired man stepped of the carriage. A servant started unloading his luggage while the man glanced over his home for this year. Guido Parola was finally here." It makes the flow better. Beyond that I like the first paragraph
But this of course is just my opinion and if you think I'm being nitpicky, just ignore me. Just trying to be constructive... :)