|Reviews for The Fellowship Of Legolas|
| LivesEater chapter 7 . 1/30/2013
Please, could you put the traduction of the elven sentences you use?
I'd really love to understand it.
Please? Thank you anyway. :)
| thomas keable chapter 7 . 1/22/2012
i cant wait under you do chapter 1 legolas got his to mordor
| gginsc chapter 7 . 4/5/2011
A translation of the Elvish would have been nice.
| Leo-firefly chapter 1 . 1/5/2011
It's really good - just try to slow down a little bit...maybe a few pauses here and there?
Also, just a pointer...it's Elrond...:)
And as the other reviews mentioned, the whole past and present tense switched a little bit.
Sorry if I critized a bit much but keep up the good work! It's a really good idea.
| TeruKurebayashi chapter 5 . 12/14/2010
...I know what "Le melon" means...that's...never mind...you know my opinion of that...and I know it won't matter...but it's your soul, not mine...and your story...so...yeah...someone else might like your story...
| TeruKurebayashi chapter 4 . 12/14/2010
One of the Nazgûl pulls it's sword back before bringing it forward but Legolas dodges it causing himself to fall and look back just as the Nazgûl strikes again but reaches it's target this time hearing the sounds of Legolas's crys fill the air as the sword pierces his skin pushing him back onto ground before reaching forward just as Aragorn reapears a torch in his hand and he begins to attack the Nazgûl with it, hearing their crys until only the leader is left, Aragorn torches him too and he leaves dragging his sword out and dropping it causing Legolas to cry out in pain once more screaming over and over again as the rest of the fellowship get up slowly looking towards him.
*Giggles* do you see any periods in this? Slow down a little when you write. *Giggles again* those are called run on sentences and they are a no no in the English language. If you are such a Legolas fan (as well as myself) why are you "giving" him to Aragorn? that's just gay...*shudders* I hate yaoi, gay, and homosexuality...
This is how that paragraph so look if you care.
One of the Nazgûl pulls it's sword back before bringing it forward, but Legolas dodges it. The momentum causes him to fall and look back just as the Nazgûl strikes again. This time, the creature reaches it's target. Having heard the sounds of Legolas's cries fill the air as the sword pierces his skin, Aragorn reappears, a torch in his hand. He begins to attack the Nazgûl with it, hearing their cries until only the leader is left. Aragorn torches him too and it leaves dragging its sword out of Legolas, but the Black Rider drops its blade. Legolas cries out in pain once more, screaming over and over again as the rest of the fellowship get up slowly looking towards him.
I hope that helps a little. You can get a friend or someone to read over your stuff before publishing. Mistakes can easily be corrected when someone else has seen them (the logic is that someone you trust can see the mistakes before the world does. Therefore you won't get cyber bullied, because there are a lot of people that will do that.)
And for all you other people! There are plenty of historical mistakes, but guess what? It's fine! The author has really changed the story line so needles to say there will be a different history! You read the summary and clicked on the title so you have no excuses. I like this story line because I love Legolas but Frodo annoyed me. It was either for the same reason or just curiosity but you clicked on the title. Some of it also doesn't seem to accurate but the author has obviously read the book or watched the uncut versions. You people apparently have not.
Now this is the longest review I've done and I hope it was helpful, so I'll shut up now. Please reply to this because if I hate anything else, it's a review gone unreplied. I don't mean to push my opinion on you, but the story would be even more enjoyable than it already is if the grammar is correct.
For the record, I do love the idea of Legolas and the Ring (Like I said, Frodo annoyed me).
| sunnyblainey chapter 6 . 11/25/2010
Um, have you even read the books or seen the movie? Your events are out of order, canon dialogue is off and they never would use "guys" to address the rest of the fellowship. Not trying to put you down, but maybe you should get some facts straight and try to capture the characters' personalities. However your idea is good, albeit used but your take is very interesting.
| Anne chapter 1 . 9/15/2010
Erlond? It's Elrond!
| SJD042342 chapter 1 . 9/15/2010
Story has you have a hell of a lot of spelling tense problems are ways of speech cannot be used in a story from supposedly ancient times.I will gladly help you on this one PM me if you need that help.
| daisymall13 chapter 1 . 9/14/2010
This story has a good idea behind it-But it needs a bit of work. You swapped tense halfway through. To me, it also seems a little bit rushed. If you were to get a beta, I think this story could be really good!
Don't let me put you off! Keep writing, I'll probably keep reading..
| IShipItAllAndThenSome chapter 1 . 9/14/2010
OOOOOOOOH, I like this...