|Reviews for Unrequited|
| xentrya chapter 1 . 11/15/2012
Hmmm...what can I say about this story...? I like the logic-it's only natural that Gabrielle's love for Xena had developed out of the great admiration she had for the Warrior, always watching her, always copying her in the attempt to be like her, wanting to impress or at least not to disappoint Xena, to meet her expectations...But on the other hand I feel like Xena is too cold regarding Gabrielle's feelings she is not at all tormented by the thought that her friend has fallen in love with her and you could have worked a bit on her emotions...The dialogue between them could have been a bit more profound I guess...
The parallel between their thoughts is interesting, I liked that, it gives the whole story an interesting structure...
Love the ending, it kinda lets one hope that things might change some day...open endings are always better than traditional closures I think, since it gives everyone the chance to create their own ending...It would be interesting to write a piece about the evolution of their feelings across the ears like some sort of sequel or something...
| Lady Razeli chapter 1 . 12/4/2010
Good choice of subject for the story, but there was one thing I didn't like and it was this one sentence here: Gabrielle was taken aback by the question, did she suspect? Surely not, must be one her self doubting moments, "Xena you are wonderful and you've done great things for people." Xena cut her off, "Not that. I mean you?"
The bit where it says Xena cut her off, I feel like that could have been another line, otherwise I find it confusing about whose talking I had to go back and read it over because "not that. I mean you?" Didn't make sense with Gabrielle's previous words and I didn't realize that Xena was the one talking. Look I don't know if somewhere you can technically do that, but in my personal opinion I think of that as a huge no no just because it's so easy to not know whose talking and now the conversation is a jumble in your head.
The second thing about this particular story is the emotion or lack of conveying it to me. I didn't really get a sense of their emotions. I mean obviously I knew what you were going for, but I didn't feel it you know? I think the word choice in certain moments could have been a bit better as far as getting the emotion across to the reader. By the end I just felt like Xena was emotionless and Gabrielle well I couldn't feel her sorrow.
p.s. told you eventually I'll review
| angelsinstead chapter 1 . 9/23/2010
I really liked your ending to this. It leaves it open-ended. Sounds like Gabrielle may even try to seduce Xena and open Xena's mind to other possibilities. It certainly is a different take on the matter. Nice one-shot :)
| HAZMOT chapter 1 . 9/19/2010
I have to admit there are not many who could pull this off. Xena and Gabrielle always had this special friendship, and certainly Gabrielle had fantasies about taking it further. But Xena's life was complicated enough without Gabrielle pining for a different type of relationship. I guess Gabrielle has to understand and be satisfied with just being friends for now. :D
| Korkyra chapter 1 . 9/17/2010
A really heartfelt story. I a subber so love them together, but this is a possibility. So sad that Xena doesn't feel the same way yet so right that they both didn't want to hurt each other. I fear it would end sadly at some stage. Well written and enjoyable although sad.
| Stardawn19 chapter 1 . 9/16/2010
Hmmm... ok, I have mixed feeling about this story. I'm not sure I totally buy it. I can accept that Gabrielle has feeling for Xena, but I think that Xena loves her as well... as more than just a friend or a sister, maybe like Gabrielle hopes Xena just hasn't figured it out yet.
I think that it was good that you left the scene separators, as it would have been confusing other wise. I might make a suggestion though, for it to be more believable maybe this story should be written twice. Once for X's p.o.v, and once from G's p.o.v.. either that or bigger chunks before the scene change. I think gaining extra insight into what they are both thinking would make it more believable.
As far as the technical stuff.. the writing is smooth, and it flowed nicely. I noticed that this is the first piece of fiction that I've read from you that had little to no dialog. It makes a difference, and I think you succeeded in doing this without a lot of conversation.
Over all though, this piece creates one of those, ha... moments.. were it makes you think about things. What if this scenario were true. We are used to seeing it the other way around or them both coming to grips with it at the same time. Good job with bring brave enough to try something new, I did enjoy the change of pace.