|Reviews for PKMN2K10|
| Aiselne Phoenix Nocturnus chapter 26 . 3/27
I’d hate to rehash myself (anymore than I usually do), but as I mentioned in my last PM, I loved the way you wrote Sabrina’s mental struggle in Ash’s mind. Intangible, psychological/paranormal factors can often come across as confusing to readers, but I for one never once felt lost or confused about what was happening. Just the opposite, I was engrossed in your creative writing.
It’s always interesting to “see the world through a Pokémon’s eyes,” and Haunter’s thoughts on humans was comical. No doubt, some/many of our everyday activities must come across as strange to a curious ghost. Haunter’s intelligence and naivety sorta meet halfway—he has a gist of what goes on in “breeding facilities” (loved that term, BTW), yet doesn’t grasp other details like “why” humans make such a big deal about sex, or how the hell to work an electronic device (though in Haunter’s defense, I struggle with my cellphone on more than one occasion. Damn butt-dialing). At any rate, Haunter’s perspective on Ash and Duplica’s show added extra fun to an already hilarious situation.
The ways you’ve not only ventured into Ash’s psyche, but also given them individual “characters” whom Sabrina meets, has truly been a highlight in this arc. I know Ambition and Adventure are now my favorites, naturally because they represent so much of the Ash Ketchum we used to know—who he still IS deep down. The fact that Ambition’s appearance reflects Ash’s father was an appropriate touch, too, proving not just whom Ash considers god, but also who he strives most to become like in the future. And I just love the way he and Adventure contradict, yet compliment, one another.
I think I like Adventure the best, but I have to agree with the reasons for his dethronement. “Too selfish, I guess. I spent too much time steering Ash in directions that only benefited me, playing around in here, doing that sort of thing, you know?" It explains Ash’s recklessness, and also why it makes more sense for Ambition to take charge now. Don’t mistaken me; I love Ash’s old devil-may-car attitude, but he can’t ride by the seat of his pants forever. I suspect that Ambition’s ascent to power isn’t solely because of Ash’s earlier defeat—ultimately, I think it just proves that he’s finally growing up.
And speaking of growing up, it figures that Attraction is the shy “new guy” on the block. Hehe. Very cute. I have a feeling he’ll fit in a lot sooner than even Ash himself realizes. ;)
Ash’s Imagination mirrors your own, and I really tip my hat to your creativity in this chapter. The devil’s definitely in the details here, from Ash’s special handkerchief to the “Thunderbolt” and “PKU UNIT 01“(I just loved those!). Leave it to you to incorporate a mecha Pokémon battle in this story so effortlessly, Dynasty. Any other fanfic and I’d be rolling my eyes and groaning, “okay, NOW you’ve gone overboard.” Not so here. That’s the beauty of the Imagination! Anything goes, so why not go all out, eh? ;) Even though I find “epic” to be a grossly overused word nowadays, I think epic sums up this chapter’s psychological adventure to a T.
Sacrosanctity. Damn, isn’t that a great word? I love how all these character facets alliterate the first letter of their person’s first name. And boy, Sabrina’s Sacrosanctity, or Sabotage, is one helluva force to reckon with, especially if she was able to fool Sabrina herself! Didn’t see that coming. And based on Sabotage’s words to Adventure, Sabrina harbors her own demons and insecurities like anyone else, even if it’s hard to imagine the stoic psychic possessing such. But right now I’m more worried about Ash and what’s bound to happen once Anarchy rears his face. Again, didn’t see that coming.
Nor did I expect Ash and Duplica would wake up in bed together. O_O That’s probably (okay, definitely) the biggest surprise, though I suppose I should’ve seen SOMETHING coming based on Ash’s recent behavior (and being Haunter’s marionette, to boot. That Pokémon’s got some explaining to do!). My heart simply melted by Ash’s reaction to the whole ordeal. The poor guy must feel so incredibly fcked up, in more ways than one.
Roxie and Duplica’s conversation brought out all sorts of feelings from me. At various points I felt angry with each girl for her lack of self-control, but the anger was mellowed whenever your writing steered the argument into more humorous territory. I practically rolled on the floor when Roxie started in with her “morbid curiosity.” XD But regardless of which girl is to blame, ultimately the one to suffer will be Ash once reality REALLY sinks in. I don’t know how the hell he’s gonna get over that. Sheesh, Dynasty, you never give that kid a break, do you? ;)
But let’s be honest; we can’t completely lay the blame on Roxie or Duplica. Ash isn’t a baby anymore. Yeah, he was kinda’ swept up in the tidal wave that was last night, no thanks to Roxie’s influence, but in the end Ash has to take responsibility for his behavior. It’s harsh, it sucks, but it is all part of growing up, and again that’s just what Ash is doing in this story.
Of course, the big mystery now is DID Ash and Duplica go all the way? Me being a Pokeshipper, I’m taking solace in Duplica’s claim that nothing actually happened (not to mention Roxie’s pretty convincing argument over Duplica’s sexuality). But if I’ve learned anything throughout this story, Dynasty, it’s to expect the unexpected.
It goes without saying that Roxie and Sabrina were destined for intimacy, but I was even more impressed with how *emotionally* intimate their tryst transpired. Roxie’s been so badass throughout this story so it’s refreshing to see her softer, scarred side. Roxie’s a tough chick, no doubt, but evidently there are things even she can’t handle…obviously, if she’s desperate to go so far as to demand a psychic obliterate her memories of Billy and Holiday. It also tells me that Roxie’s substance abuse is caused by much more than the territory of rockstarhood.
But I am on the fence about Sabrina’s deception regarding the false memories she implanted in Roxie and Ash, mostly regarding the latter. False memories don’t actually change the past, only help Roxie and Ash more easily move forward into the future. I’d hate to see what could happen if, somehow, those memories were revived. But especially regarding Ash’s gym battle, he didn’t *actually* win the Marsh Badge, and it makes me sad, honestly. Ash has been working so hard to rediscover his training ambitions and I WANT him to succeed. Though Sabrina’s actions are understandable, in the end Ash’s new Marsh Badge only symbolizes a hollow victory, even if he doesn't know it yet. Hopefully ignorance is bliss.
But the last of this chapter proves to me that even Sabrina is beginning to feel the weight of this story’s affairs. Back when Ash first met her we learned she did indeed possess a heart, but like Roxie, it’s easy to forget Sabrina’s emotional side. And in retrospect, it’s ironic to compare the beginning and end of this episode: in the beginning, Sabrina’s the fearsome psychic holding all the cards, and by the end we realize that, for all her powers, she IS still human.
As thus concludes my latest ramblings. This chapter offered a little bit of everything, didn’t it? Paranormal adventure, mecha action, sexy drama, and intense character angst. With such a vast variety like that, what’s not to love? :)
| wheathermangohanssj4 chapter 26 . 12/30/2014
Okay that's, awful, and I'm glad this arc is over.
Everyone in this arc was a shitty person and none of them even have an inkly of how shitty of a person they're being. And even worse none of them are getting what they "diserve" for there shitty behavior.
| Nauran chapter 26 . 12/29/2014
Another fantastic instalment! Always a pleasure when I see this in my inbox!
I'm really going to miss Saffron. It was one helluva ride! Doc, Holiday, Duplica, Sabrina, and especially Roxie, they were all great fun. I enjoyed each and every one of their characters. Did I mention how much I loved your Roxie? I probably should have.
It was very intriguing to read that dream sequence, playing it out in my head as I went on.
Whatever that "Sabotage" did... makes me wonder what will happen the next time Ash has a surge of aura.
Well, Ash is off to the next badge thanks to Sabrina's inception. Though I wonder if Pikachu will recall the battle they "had"...
And phooey on Holiday, I miss Doc!
Thanks for the read. 'Til the next one!
| PolarDawn chapter 26 . 12/27/2014
Ah, herer we go. Something else to read. Fabulous.
I must say, Dynasty, your writing is fantastic, as always. Even though updates are sparse, to say the least, they never disappoint.
This chapter was also quite, ah, profound? I dunno exactly what word I'm looking for here, but that must be close. Just something to express the mood/tone of these most recent couple chapters. I've really been enjoying the psychonauting, as you so aptly named it, particularly the different traits and how they act. The dream hunt was also quite interesting. I thought it was pretty neat how you had them adventuring around (ha, get it?) inside Ash's head grabbing on to planes and stuff. It's something different, that's for sure.
Even though I'm really hoping we get some more of the priceless Doc/Holiday banter that has been scattered throughout the fic so far, this chapter wasn't lacking in comic relief. The bit where Haunter was controlling Ash and Duplica was great, it really was.
Unfortunately I don't have enough time to be writing a longer review that this atm -I'm sure you know how that goes- but there's definitely enough material here to write much more about. So I guess I'll cut off here. Thanks for the update. I appreciate the work that went into it. Merry Christmas, and I'll see you sometime around April or May if all goes well! ;)
| Sage of wind Dragons chapter 26 . 12/27/2014
so Ash will no long let thigns go nor alow himself adventure again because he is the disposed king that was fine with it and... Sabrina needs to die really. always hate psychic bullshits no defences in the end of the story ALL of everyone is helpess against it and they go nuts and they need to DIE.
in most stories at least.
you know considering how many legendaris hes helped out youd think ONE. just ONE pehpas a powerful psychic that might KNOW himself (say mewtwo perchance?) will try to help him OUT.
I mean wtf.
anyway the hard leader that wants everyone to win being betrayed by the former amiable leader is going to... yeah. anyway mad props for the bad guy in regards to the making Sabrina sabotage. MAD, MAD props indeed.
jeez the changes in Ash are going to become and BE so god dam painful when knowing how scarred and the losses of his mind and soul... poor Ambition should have thrown her out for some death.
its never a mater of how much or how little you work with what others want but really WHEN right? time for everything if you do it correctly.
anyway awesome stuff here, really and excellent job.
| DannyPhantom619 chapter 26 . 12/27/2014
| Aiselne Phoenix Nocturnus chapter 25 . 12/4/2014
Just when I thought you couldn’t dig any deeper into the psyche of Ash Ketchum, Dynasty, you go (or rather, Sabrina goes) even further…and LITERALLY inside the boy’s psyche, layer by layer like an onion. Woah. You’ve just taken this story to a whole other level—again! :D
Sabrina’s infiltration of Ash’s mind was both fascinating and downright disturbing at times, especially when we realize how powerless (physically and mentally) Ash is at the moment. He does attempt, meagerly, to fight back subconsciously, but it’s obvious Ash is no match for Sabrina’s immense powers (or IS he?). “Hers was a dream from which he could not wake, until she allowed it,” and “she could plant any idea she chose,” and “She could stop dead his heart, his breathing.” “If she wanted, she could be the death of him with little to no effort invested.” Perhaps it’s a good thing that Ash is so zoned out right now. I can’t picture too many people being 100% comfortable with somebody like Sabrina overtaking their mind and body like this. Makes me wonder how Ash may react upon regaining consciousness.
The missing pieces (like Delia missing from the kitchen) of Ash’s recollection sent chills down my spine, too, and really exemplify the extent of Ash’s mental state. Your interpretation of Abdication was particularly interesting, not to mention accurate, and I like how Sabrina (and you as the author) approached Ash’s mind gradually, taking the time to explore various assets of the boy’s psyche. As I’ve probably said many times before, this entire fanfic has done a fantastic job of digging into Ash’s mentality, but this specific chapter goes the distance and shows us what really makes Ash Ketchum tick. The psychological imagery you used was especially fun to read, my favorite being how you described Scorn’s deformity and guillotine. Such images also helped ensure the psychoanalytic stuff never became psychomumbojumbo, without dumbing things down either.
The Berserk Gene sheds a lot more light on Max’ Onix now. Maybe it’s because I’m a sap, but I feel even sorrier for the rock-snake, since Onix hasn’t exactly had an easy time in this fanfic. Now she’s become a pawn in Team Plasma’s experiments. I shudder to think what’ll become of Max and friends at the mercy of this berserk Pokemon, plus how Plasma’s genes may harm Onix herself—biologically and emotionally. Onix didn’t exactly hit it off with Max, but I don’t think she’d want to kill the boy either, especially against her will.
Honestly, Haunter was always one of my favorite Pokemon, both in the anime and games. :3 Anime-wise, I wished Haunter stayed with Ash, but it’s fair that he inevitably stuck with Sabrina instead. And for this story’s purposes, Haunter (and his macabre sense of humor) is the perfect ally to help Sabrina “from the outside” of Ash’s mind. His and Sabrina’s trickery of Abdication was quite brilliant—I, too, fell for Sabrina’s “losing control” theatricality, only briefly wondering how somebody as strong as Sabrina could be caught off guard in the first place. Nice “guess again” moment there, Dynasty!
Abdication’s witnessing of Ash’s nightmare was definitely the most disturbing part of this episode, as any nightmare should be. I simply love reading creepy yet naughty nightmares, too, the kinds that leave a reader feeling chills for all sorts of reasons. ;) And for a Pokeshipper like myself, few things are as frightening as Gary and Misty in bed. The nightmare itself is also a nice reminder of how Ash IS growing up, body and mind. For a younger Ash, his greatest nightmare would probably be watching Gary dominating a Pokemon League—older Ash is more concerned about Gary dominating Misty (among other things, not to mention Misty being completely compliant). “Gary was here, Ash is a loser” — You brought a whooole new meaning to that classic one-liner, my friend.
And let’s be honest: if Ash considers a “horrible nightmare” to be about Misty sleeping with his old rival, then it stands to reason that Ash would consider a “wonderful dream” to be about Misty sleeping with HIM, eh? ;) Gotta’ love the subconscious!
Another reason why I love dream scenarios is that the subconscious can be a writer’s ideal playground. Hell, this entire chapter felt like a whole new adventure within a larger one, everything taking place in Ash’s mind, with no shortage of deadly challenges. As powerful as Sabrina is, I suspect even she may have bitten off more than she can chew. This was another helluva chapter, Dynasty, so much so that I can’t even begin to imagine what you’ve got up your sleeve for Ambition!
| Menaphite chapter 25 . 8/27/2014
I'm not really impressed with this chapter compared to all the others. You gave it away it by revealing Sabrina's thoughts and plans and it took away the element of surprise. It was more like watching a reruns of old T.V. shows. By the way Sabrina is kind of a bitch in the way I think she is a pretty solid character and she has a task to do but I still want to bash her skull in with a blunt object - maybe a rock. Kind of glad she is getting a taste of her own medicine. Dunno it felt out of order. Maybe if you put Abdication's view first and then Sabrina's machinations after it would have been better. *shrugs*
| Menaphite chapter 24 . 8/27/2014
Sabrina is pretty awesome, a little bit more sinister than what I usually read her as but it makes her all the more interesting.
Though the mood was ruined because all I could think of when reading her part was the gif with the skeleton doing a jig or something that says '2spooky4u' and could not stop laughing.
All the OCs are great with in this especially Holiday (best line is when he's like 'I got this, trains are for fags!'), though he has come off as a bigger prick than usual in the past two chapters. Roxie is very likable too, especially with the accent which fits perfectly cause I was just watching the Inbetweeners.
It's all swell and good until you're body is taken forcibly from you and you fall to your death. Kind of a big fuck you to Jenny and Jessie. But Sabrina is ruthless.
Reading the author's note I've noticed this story is freaking 4 years old and still going strong with over 500k words but seems severely under appreciated. Doesn't seem right to me but oh well.
| Menaphite chapter 22 . 8/27/2014
Bleh, J is like a cockroach; you just can't kill her. I find it hard to believe that Ein is still alive after all that...
| Refraction of Light chapter 25 . 8/27/2014
Oh what has Sabrina unleashed in the poor unsuspecting world. And damn Ash's nightmare is messed up, I have to wonder how the lack of abdication to filter those work out for him. Anyways looking forward to the next chapter you sadistic writer.
| ThyOtherSide chapter 25 . 8/26/2014
All I have to say is WOW! That is one hell of a chapter! I simply cannot fathom what I just read. It made sense, but at the same time, the concept of different living facets in the mind is truly foreign and rarely discussed in my livelihood. I thoroughly enjoyed the passage, even the dirty nightmare that Ash had ahahaha. "Gary was here". That is beautiful.
Anyway, I would love to read more about the "mind" battles and how the hell Ash has a deity in his head. If I have the time, I'll go back and reread the entire story so that it is fresh in my mind. My facet Sponge lost some of the story because it dried up a bit too much thanks to a busy life haha.
I also want to memorize the words you used throughout the story, such as acrimony, auger, baleful, trite, and that German word for enjoying people's pain and torture. I'm inspired to adopt the vocabulary you have to my own writing/reading comprehension. I can't believe this is a fanfic. This should be a New York Time's Best Seller at Barnes and Nobles! The vocabulary and material completely outclass many of the books I've read from there. The plot is so unique that I'm completely hooked by it. There really isn't anything clichéd in this story. If you're not busy with work/life, please write some more. You have real talent!
| Nauran chapter 25 . 8/19/2014
Ah, so their aspects were emotions/facets starting with the same letter as their name. It was really interesting to see how her powers work and how she delves into someone's mind. I wonder if her efforts have paid off. But holy hell, what was that that got her in the end?!
| DannyPhantom619 chapter 25 . 8/18/2014
| Sage of wind Dragons chapter 25 . 8/18/2014
heh foolish child messing with people... I cant help but remember that Ash once had a KING possessing hima nd considering all the OTHER things... she probably is going to die here.
and Im kind of quasi ok with that considering she sqrewed up his mind. I mean god DAMM, if the idiot had just SAID you need to learn this power BECAUSE the world will end if you don't... I mean COME ON. sure he might not believe and that might suck but once he actually gets in SIGHT of some little proofs he would go.
but this, destroying parts of his mind and unleashing a greater power he can control and DESTROYING the part of his mind that was SUPPOSED to keep it under control... dear god the mess... and the DEATH...
well. its good for Sabrina to be ripped apart like this truly, teaches her actual RESTRAINT when she does shit and will teach her to THINK for her self, give her some DBOUT which she can then work THROUGH (the PROCESS dam it is as important as anything, not just complete assurance based on nothing...)
anyway , fun stuff if CONFUSING and finding out what one of his old aqatiences that he helped on the journey is up to is going to be... well.
anyway fun times to be had! wonder if ash has anyone inside of himself considering she just broke the metaphorical weak bone support inside of him if he CAN help and all... yikes.