|Reviews for It Takes A City|
| Traekor chapter 2 . 6/17/2011
Overall, I quite like your story. I think you have an interesting interpretation that could be Lyner's childhood. I like how the quirks in his personallity and his views of the world you can draw lines to his rather unique upbringing - something normally not so easy. Shurelia has always beena favorite, and it's nice to see someone flesh out the mysterious pre-game past happenings in Platina.
Looking forward to more!
| DragonGolem chapter 2 . 1/11/2011
I don't know what you think is wrong with the fic but I happened to like it. It was missing some of the humor you promised but that's a very minor detail. You made quite a few valid points. So I say it was a very good fic.
| RigilGearwerks chapter 2 . 10/1/2010
I liked this story, quite a bit actually. I think you hit on some of the topics hidden in this story quite clearly and cleanly, and in a way that was entertaining as well. While the first portion seemed to wander a bit, the places you wandered off to were just as entertaining as the main story, and linked back quite nicely.
It's nice to see this fandom getting more love, and I think you've captured that in this piece of writing. Thank you for gracing us with your vision of this entertaining and wonderful world.
| Dark Knight Gafgar chapter 1 . 9/21/2010
For starters, the Luca/dive therapy-bashing was pointless and off topic. Not to mention that Croix got over Luca's actions pretty much in the same Act that they were revealed, so having him still bearing a grudge after the events of AT2 makes no sense at all. Secondly, supplementary materials note that Leard and Lyner's mother were both married, that Lyner's mother died shortly after Lyner was born, and that she most certainly wasn't an anonymous prostitute. So, again, fail.
And trying to explain Mir's attempted genocide as "a rightful response to hostility/domestic abuse" is completely absurd. The faction responsible for what happened to Mir was, at most, merely the government of Neo Elemia. Mir's actions went far beyond getting revenge on those who hurt her and even she states in AT2 that she went too far. More fail.
Normally at this point I'd suggest something like re-writing the fic to make sense or trying to find someone to proofread your work before you post it, but a quick check of your profile indicates I shouldn't bother. So, in closing:
| Vehrec chapter 1 . 9/19/2010
So 1/3 of this story is missing? And what is here is just...wrong in a lot of ways. Aside from the whole issue of Luca probably never leaving Metafalass since she has a big job there, and it's a long long way between the Towers. Aside from the fact that Ar Ciel is definitely not Earth. No, the chief problem I have is with depicting Plantia as some kind of perfect utopia whose people aren't soft or foolish. There are a lot of things wrong with Sol Ciel in general, and Plantia in specific that get glossed over in what is potentially an exceptional bit of worldbuilding. For starters, nobody there ever invented Diquility. Three hundred years after the birth of the first third-gen Reyvatiel, it fell on one from the smallest poorest tower most lacking in resources to actually create the life-extending agent. Two Origins completely missed this stuff! For hundreds of years, Tattoolist was the great scourge of life on the towers, and nobody was doing anything about it.
And just what is so wrong about the IPDs anyways? They're a hive mind with slightly unstable emotions, so what is the big deal? That whole section-decrying dive therapy's real benefits and 11% of Metafalass' population in a single stroke is just begging for an explanation.