|Reviews for Flicker of Hope|
| NeeNeeLar chapter 14 . 1/3/2015
I just read your story and it's beautifully set out. It's wonderful, I would love to see an epilogue or one more chapter with the kiss and athrun remembering his experience.
Once again thank you I love your story and it sparked my gundam seed again.
| ZaMaShi chapter 14 . 2/17/2013
I wasn't expecting Cagalli and Athrun to forget their memories, and I would have guessed that it would be Athrun who remembered. I can see how other people would have wanted an epilogue, but I think this could have ended better with neither Athrun nor Cagalli remembering, and then meeting each other. Then 'have we met before'?
now that I've read through this, I'll offer a bit of con-crit. please don't be offended.
Some parts in this story you just put in one sentence when I feel like there should be more written. Like here:
"As the ride went higher, people around her were also gathering and pointing at a building across the mall. Cagalli looked at where the people were pointing to.
On top of a seven-story building, a woman was attempting to commit suicide.
The guardian ghost hurriedly went to try and stop the woman."
This sounds like a very short summary but it's all you wrote. It was really random. There were multiple spots like this, that just felt too short. You could stand to expand by talking about reactions and giving more descriptions. Just something to think about for the future.
It's distracting to have you switch between verb tenses- past, present, past. Stick to past.
Another distraction- writing 1, 2, 3 when it should be one, two, three. In general, for numbers less than 100, write out the word, don't use Arabic numbers.
| ZaMaShi chapter 13 . 2/17/2013
Shinn is so mean here... Doomed to the underworld for 100 years for doing nothing is harsh!
Since Athrun said he loves her- so I'm guessing she will come back to life now. Or maybe if you're cruel, she'll die...
| ZaMaShi chapter 12 . 2/17/2013
And now the ghost catcher, Shinn, interferes! (I love writing with Shinn) now Athrun has to get her back...
| ZaMaShi chapter 11 . 2/16/2013
This is getting better. getting sick is a good excuse for selfishness.
"and dragged Cagalli with him on the bed"- That's what she said!
And Meyrin enters as the catalyst girl- as I thought- making Cagalli realize she has feelings for Athrun...
| ZaMaShi chapter 10 . 2/16/2013
I loved the part "Look mommy, is he crazy?" That made me laugh out loud. The way people keep thinking he's gay is funny too.
It's sweet that Athrun wants Cagalli to live, especially now that he's seen her. In my mind, I imagine him deciding 'now I have to fall in love so she can live!' So Cagalli's been out for a long time, huh? I wasn't aware it had already been that long.
I totally agree with you on the reviews thing. I think the people who actually write know about this more than the people who just read. It takes hours/days/weeks/months to put out a chapter, and then you get next to no feed back. . . But still, there are sometimes I don't review because I don't it's any good.
| ZaMaShi chapter 9 . 2/16/2013
Usagi, Mamoru... I thought 'blonde hair, blue eyes, Japanese name?' but then figured you borrowed them from another series.
I'm glad to see Yuna beaten up, but I hope Meyrin doesn't get bashed. She's never did anything bad...
| ZaMaShi chapter 6 . 2/16/2013
Having Cagalli grieve over Yuna or say anything nice about him *at all* makes me want to vomit. I guess that means that the Gundam SEED creators did a good job of making an utterly disgusting character. I hope you deal with him.
I also like the appearance of the ghost catchers.
| ZaMaShi chapter 3 . 2/16/2013
I think I can see where this is going now
| Fate Camiswhil chapter 14 . 2/16/2013
"I hate your kind, trying to save everyone but in the end, you can't even save yourself." -I love this line from Shinn, that's exactly how Cagalli is like and it reminded me a lot of how they were in the series...XD
well, Athrun just had to win, right? I just couldn't believe that hell would be even more chaotic like that, didn't expect Muruta trying to overthrow Durandal like that and of all the great timings... *sigh*
That was actually kinda dramatic, how Cagalli's soul disappeared...XD I liked it, reminded me of how Stellar died...TT
Then, we're back at the hospital where Cagalli cheating death little by little and what a surprise that Athrun would end up in the hospital too! for a second back there I thought they were gonna meet again in the hospital...XD
I kinda wished Dearka and Yzak mentioned about chasing after the love of his life to Athrun, that would make his strange feelings much stronger :D
I also kinda thought, Athrun and Cagalli would both forget and remember at the same time after a kiss...XD that would've been cute too...X3
btw, whatever happened to the necklace?
anyway, I really wish you'd write an epilogue for this! this is too abrupt! even for my taste...XD
see yah 'round!
| ZaMaShi chapter 1 . 2/11/2013
I was slightly curious when I saw "fantasy" as one of the genres for this story. (the summary doesn't even hint that). So she's a ghost huh? I'll have to see what you do with this.
I think you over used the passive tense a bit. If you make your verbs more direct, you can draw the readers in more.
| nom de plumee chapter 14 . 10/22/2012
Like it Like it
Will there be any sequel?
I'm curious abt Ath's memory. Will he remember, too? How will he remember?
Will he not remember?
Gah, either way, I think, those two are still bound together to form AsuCaga XD
Hope that they make so many bunches of beautiful memories :3
AsuCaga FTW! \(n.n)/
| SakuraYuri-87 chapter 1 . 9/27/2012
I Really Love This one...
One of The Best FanFic I Ever Read...
Give Us Epilogue...
| yukana chapter 13 . 9/22/2012
Arghhh this chapter is so heartbreaking!
| fel chapter 14 . 9/17/2012
awwwwwww man...I wish you could have written until Athrun remembered However this one of the best fanfics I have ever read XD