|Reviews for Retribution|
| Guest chapter 1 . 9/1/2013
My actual name is Alicia! That's so cool! Well I'm gonna continue reading this throughout the day!
| pshhh y'kno chapter 47 . 8/8/2011
i havent been on ff for soo frikin' long that i actually forgawt da damn'd password . *cusses out loud* in any case *waves frantically* heyy, shino! iz meh, oki P *shot*
so guess wut? i just spent my entire free time back at home readin' the 12 or so chappys that uve written. and i loved 'em! there were a couple sketchy parts, but ehh, you'll learn from 'em raight?
sooo, the completion of ur first fanfic...
wut does ur biggest fan say?
...CONGRATULATIONS! (oh yahh, u dont watch wowowee, whoops)
but man, srsly great job ; theres no way in hell i coulda pulled it off 47 chappys, sixty-sumthin reviews; and on ur first try at fanfiction D random word of advice: try and make smaller fics *headdesk*
sooo, im assuming that ur skewl started recently (or soon anyway... my friends in SC started, but my cousins in NC didnt, so idk wut goes on between differents states) in any case, u gotta tell meh how high skewl life's like, k'? ;D iz fun, rite? P or maybe its a bummer... once again, idk depends.
alright-y, i is out P
see ya when i remember da password!
(or kix tells me... whichever comes first)
| Surgical Rose chapter 47 . 8/3/2011
The minute I started reading the lyrics, I realised how awesome and appropriately chosen this song was for the end of this fic!
It literally blew my mind and kept me reading in time with the music, luckily during the instrumentals the information slowly sunk in.
| TwistedJabberjays chapter 44 . 7/13/2011
I like this one better...
(yes, I'm way too impatient to wait)
| TwistedJabberjays chapter 43 . 7/11/2011
*wants to cry* This was so sad...
The only thing is that I wish they had a better reaction to the whole thing instead of just standing there and smiling.
Anyway, I can't wait for the other endings!
| superdude8 chapter 41 . 7/8/2011
GRAAH! Alicia's dying! But CR- I mean Erhard was saved, so yay!
I really don't know what's going to happen next... I'm just gunna wait and see!
I enjoyed reading every single bit of this fic, too bad it's coming to an end!
Oh, I hope Alicia doesn't really die... She was cool, idc what other people say!
Anyways, I will be waiting patiently for the next chapter. (I'm not rushing you or anything) ;)
Graaaaaaah, I think I'm going to have an anxiety attack from all these cliffhangers! But, a story isn't a story without a lil' suspense! (or in this case, a lot of suspense :D) But I don't mind!
I wish you luck on future chappys and stories(even though you don't really need it! You've been doing great with all your fics!)
| superdude8 chapter 40 . 7/5/2011
OMG this is my favourite chappy so far! Because for some reason, I like to read fan fics where my fav char is dying... BUT CR BETTER BE SAVED!
Because even though I enjoyed the chapter, I was somewhat teary-eyed when CR was DYING. He's gonna be saved, right?
Anyways, GREAT chapter and I'm very eager to find out what happens next!
| Sue Hunter Robin chapter 39 . 7/3/2011
Whoa, I thought that this'd be alright at the start, but now...Sweet Jesus.
Alicia...doesn't really have a personality. Sure she'll say something pithy every now and then, she'll do something dramatic, but that's about it for her. Aside from those, there's no real use for her except to use a Healing Touch that has been done by other OC's in this fanbase and be a constant Damsel in Distress. It also looks as if you only cling to one trait of the canon character's personalities and that they've been reduced to pod people who drop everything for Alicia. For the entirety of this story, things have happened, but not really well. Also, your OC has the only bits of character development in this fic.
All things said, I decree Alicia Rosselini a Black Hole, Purity, Copy Cat, and Sympathetic Sue (with some traces of Relationship)
| Lunar Wing chapter 39 . 7/2/2011
this needs a lot of work. the characters are way out of character and it feels as though there is no plot development. it is clear that your oc, alicia, is the main focal point and she is the only one who receives any real character development, but even her character isn't clear; she is too much of a mary-sue. some parts are painful to read. these parts feel as though you are trying too hard. repetitiveness is a killer. a good point is the length and effort. work on organization and keeping characters in character along with more variety with word choices.
| superdude8 chapter 39 . 6/29/2011
I love it! Can't wait for more! (see? vague.) Anyways... predictions? If Alicia was taking the shot, I'd say either Gabe or CR would attempt to take it instead (so like one of them comes to her rescuuuuuuue. maybeeeeeeee.) :D Ha, I'm strange.
| Surgical Rose chapter 38 . 6/25/2011
This is so unbelievably detailed! And that itself is very hard to find around fanfics! I absolutely love this story and the mystery and plot-twists that happen to change the situtaion.
:O Nooooo! Little Guy and Alyssa are infected! Well actually, a lot my fave doctors are infected which kind of sorts out the problem I've had with Trauma Team...Surely one of the members of staff had come into contact with the monarch scales at some point and caught the virus :/
But this time around, it's the water supply that's infected! Knowing Naomi, she'll probably discover this (or not, depends whether she's busy with Alyssa) and bring it up at the Midnight Conference! (That's got an eerily creepy and mysterious ring to it :D )
| PXLight chapter 38 . 6/25/2011
I would love to say I'm Oki, but I'm not ; So you're stuck dealing with me till ma amie gets better on her deathbed.
I read through the chapters I missed for a bit and you can't believe how much I loved these words: "The quarantine has failed. Again" I cracked up! From what I see, your chapters are getting meatier. Either that or you learned how to better space out your chapters... always good.
Now something to work on... if by "contradiction" you mean "Oh, viruses aren't like parasites so they shouldn't be able to travel through water and multiply quickly enough without dying within five minutes" then you are correct-! Also, I spotted a few typos, nothing too major though.
Good luck with your next chapter. I don't know when I'll get a chance to review again... I have a ton of obligations to fulfill over the summer. And that 'thing' is half-way done.
| PXLight chapter 35 . 6/4/2011
Whoa, I know, I promised myself that I'd read this, but I haven't seen the Trauma Center archive in a while. *audible gasp* Anyways, it took a while to catch up... I think I stopped reading this like at Chapter 24 or something and I forgot basically everything that happened.
That is a lot of everything.
This chapter was pretty spaced out; wow. So long... I think my eyes died after chapter thirty! *chuckles lightly* I also loved the "black-winged angel" surgeon title or something like that; probably the best thing CR has been known as.
Umm... right. I'll talk to you later off dA or something. *waves frantically* See ya...! *falls over*
| TwistedJabberjays chapter 35 . 5/27/2011
*laughs* Great job!
| PXLight well. Kix chapter 34 . 5/21/2011
Wow, this is really long... but at the same time, it's lacking detail. Well, it brings up this one thing Oki-chan drilled into my head when she came over last fall to work on music ISU together (which makes no sense, but... oh screw it).
"Quality over quantity."
See what you've done Oki-chan-
You're probably read fics from other fandoms; hopefully you are not restricted to the TC fandom which is rather limited in variety. Well, you will have come across some REALLY good ones and you tend to notice that these authors enjoy taking their time on certain scenes at a time. There is no need to rush the plot... take your time and throw in the details that can make this even better. It'll also help with char. development and scene development; the reader won't feel as lost as I am right now.
You have a talent for length, that's for sure, but there is just TOO MUCH plot development to the point where it feels almost rushed. 12 000 words IS still an accomplishment tough, so kudos.