It seems youve got some more interaction for naruto in the works, so thats good.

I think it's a narrative mistake to stick naruto into an apprenticeship situation that isn't closed training or a timeskip. You have to keep everything going on that would normally have meaningful interaction with others happening with only one real character. Not having different characters, motivations, POVs, friendships, or anything besides naruto stuck in his own head is incredibly difficult writing to do well, and the percentage of authors who do that even well enough to offset the missing pieces, let alone better, is incredibly low. Put bluntly, you are much more likely to end up with a reductive, boring story.

Its a small thing, but a shop wouldnt have special snowflake armor sized for 12 year olds sitting around on a shelf. Either jiraiya should have custom ordered it, or it should have been something more normal that would sell to most young genin.

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im so glad you didnt go in that corny fan fiction route where naruto gets “hunted down” by civilians that shit is so forced

like how strategic Naruto is. And this Hokage leadership trait too

Nice chapter

Nice fic so far

the likelyhood i see a culmination to this buildup is low. either it not getting completed, or i forget about the fic after binging it.

but you've done something really cool, and you deserve to know it. this fic started like a good 20 other fic i could almost name verbatim, of what naruto as a series would look like if naruto was cool and overpowered and more like the legends of his father.

a fun read, i enjoy it, but its been done.

what stands out, that really captures my attention is that you used it as a springboard to do 2 things i notice right off.
1, you dramatically change the landscape the conflic is taking place in, every character, every group, and every potential character arc is drastically different. doing the timeskip right after danzo comes to power changes everything, and its amazing.

2, you further build a strong foundation for the story arc based around this change in a few specific ways. the setup itself is very shonen anime, the way arcs define them more than seasons or episodes. and its entirely grounded in the world. nothing introduced is out of sync with the info provided earlier, nothing outlandish pushed an incredibly unlikely event to happen etc.

as a story, and a reader, i feel primed to read some of the coolest shit ever to be written, in a grounded and satisfying way to the point that its etched into my mind as an 'event'.

its really good.

and if irl transpires that not another word is written for this story ever, it'd be a shame, but still more than worth reading in its own right.

good luck with whatever you're up to today

holy shit

you really did it. i hardly ever see a sucessful danzo because of how irrevocably it changes everything and you did it anyway. you mad bastard, thats really cool to read as much as i dont like it

was fully expecting people to die, but danzo to be thwarted last second, not actually controlling konoha

fanfic like yours truely do a better job at making me utterly despise danzo on a level, and in such a specific way that really makes me soul search as to not allow the anger incurred to poison my soul outside of the story.

its the same with particularly insidiously written versions of prequal starwars palpatine characters, centered on the deep mistrust and betrayal from manipulative authority figures with no morals and an impedus to destroy everything around them

because as much as the empire in starwars is a shitty place to live, danzo would create a worse kind of dictatorship given enough room to take it. (for all that the holage system is itself a 'benevolent' military dictatorship loosely tied to a monarchy/ruling class)

Such an excellent story. Well worth the wait between chapters!

Great story can’t wait to read more and also I hope Naruto gets with Hana

Yeah, I don’t buy it, where did Mizuki go? He would have had more than enough time to kill Naruto and leave. It wouldn’t even have to be elaborate, just a kunai in the back of the head would be all that was necessary. You also didn’t say what happened to the Scroll of Seals, unless you want him to escape with it.

One of the best stories I've ever read