|Reviews for Learning to socialize|
| That Faggot From Next door chapter 1 . 3/25/2013
I really liked this a lot. I hope there will be a sequel for it someday but its perfect as it is.
| Resident Evil Lionhart chapter 1 . 9/7/2011
It would be nice to get a sequel to this. Maybe of how their relationship grows and were Leon tells Cloud how he got the scar and Cloud tells Leon how he feels about it blah blah blah. lol. Either way, a continuation story would be nice. The story isn't too long or anything either.
| doomshuriken chapter 1 . 7/6/2011
Well, the story itself great, fun and cute, and a little... well, a lot smutty, but that's 90% of the reason people read fanfiction anyway, right? I have a couple of comments to make, though, just for future reference.
1. You need a beta. Sorry, but you've really just gotta find SOMEONE, I'll do it if you like (I find it fun...), but I think you have a couple of content issues that could be dealt with in addition to word choice problems. But in all honesty, they're nothing that can't be ignored in favor of enjoying the yaoi, haha.
2. I know you warned about everyone being a little OOC, but in all honesty, the only times they were really out of character was when they were chatting/txting, so if you maybe just took another look at that, you'd be awesome :) Well, you already ARE awesome, but you'd be in a little better shape, aight?
3. You give a ton of hints into a whole interesting background for Leon, but its never developed, dammit. :(
4. Cloud is a sexy beast, thank you for noticing and making him so in your fic. *bow*
Mmm... that's basically it! Thanks muchly for posting this on ffnet, it was nice to find something like this amongst the ridiculously large pile of fluffy crap laying around. :)
| animeXIII chapter 1 . 6/1/2011
Great story. To bad there isn't more. :) Thanks for posting!
| raerobdestiny chapter 1 . 5/3/2011
ho-ly crap. That was amaaaaaaaaaaziiing. Why did it have to end like that. This screams for a sequel! You my friend are an excellent writer. Hats off to you! Please please please write more cleon! After this im off to your page and see if u have more of em. *crosses fingers
| SilverGunner chapter 1 . 3/24/2011
How in the hell can you have 13(?) reviews for this?, It clearly deserves more! I would be lying if I said this isn't the best thing I have ever read before. The whole concept of the story and plot, And the way you put more then the kingdom hearts plot, put added some FF to it, and added it to the real world(?) I love it so much!, really? Who would have thought of Cloud being a model?. I would not have, I'll tell you that!. It's so hard to find storys were there in character, yours so, I was very shocked, so in character and so much detail. Amazing, I loved word by word. I realize it says complete but, I would love if you would please continue!, Cloud as seme is so hard to find...(even though it seems more likely?) I hope to see more CloudxLeon(Squall), or more storys period from you! :)
| aliceupsidedown chapter 1 . 2/26/2011
First off, why does this not have more reviews? I mean, it was awesome! I really loved how you started out slow, with the history, and then it was easy to see how well they meshed after chatting online for 7 months. The switches with the POV's was extremely well done. Not often enough to annoy, but often enough to get a complete picture.
A job well done!
| Kitty Jinxter chapter 1 . 12/27/2010
I LOVED it!
Okay,you should continue this. Please. I am begging you, please. It was so well written and I love how you showed both point of views. That was also one of the best sex scenes I have ever read. Please, please, please, continue this!
| simply anonymous chapter 1 . 12/13/2010
aww... that was so sweet. i especially liked the ending (see, i'm a sucker for happy endings) X3 but ah, i've noticed squall hasn't given his real name yet. perhaps he should get going with that. D i absolutely loved your fic FullOfSugar!
| Eevetta chapter 1 . 11/8/2010
I usually don't read a story with Cloud as the seme over Leon, but I got curious after reading the summery. I don't regret reading it from beginning to end. I'm not much of a critique, but I would like to mention, maybe you should have indicated who's POV it was every line break. Other than that, great story _
| eff-eff-fanatic chapter 1 . 10/30/2010
THAT WAS REALLY REALLY GOOD! Now I wish you would write more! MOAR! tehehee... but yeah, good study, good flow and good...smut xD I really wish Leon and Cloud could be together...this feels like just the beginning :)
| Baby-Ayatane chapter 1 . 10/9/2010
I love Dr. Quinn! xD
Anyway- great story, great lemon.
Keep it up, and sorry for the short review!
| Crys chapter 1 . 10/2/2010
I loved it! this story has so much detail! I couldnn't walk away from it. It was so full of emotion and was really cute! Good job!
| greenikat89 chapter 1 . 9/28/2010
I'm always looking for new Cloud/Leon stories, so it's a pleasure to have new ones written. I think the best part of playing with characters in fanfiction is being able to create your own setting and stories for them. I liked how you started off your story getting right into the online romance to really grab the reader and draw them in. For the most part you were consistent in keeping the characters true to how you wrote them throughout the story. The story line was relatively well executed and the ending is satisfactory. However, I do have some (hopefully) helpful critiques to improve on your writing.
It is true that you will need a beta for your story. Lord knows it's extremely hard to catch your own mistakes without a second pair of eyes (happens to me all the time). A beta can help make your writing flow better and get rid of the somewhat distracting grammatical/punctuation errors. Generally it's just little things like verb tense agreement, missing periods, incorrect word choice, some sentence structures etc. They're just quick fix things.
I do agree with the previous reviewer about the switching POVs. It was clear between scene changes which characters' view point that is, but perhaps it would be smoother with one? Or, if you wanted to you could do a close third person which can allow you to show the reader both character's thoughts/actions without the abrupt switching one gets in first person. But if you wanted to keep it, then perhaps having the different POVs as separate chapters? It is true that it does tend to lag towards the end and seems more drawn out than need be because you're fitting in so much between each POV. It will also allow you to flesh out more of the character's just a bit for their actions from meeting to getting together to forming a deep relationship much more believable (especially near the end when the POV changes are very quick). I know you said it's a PWP story, so there's only so much that can be done.
However, considering you're writing stories "without being remotely fluent in English" I think you did a fabulous job. A beta will help tremendously and with a few tweaks here and there you'll have a lovely polished story. Even as it is, I still enjoyed it and hope to read more from you. One can never have enough C/L romance.
| ShadowYin-Yang chapter 1 . 9/26/2010
Leon's hysterial online lol
But anyway, this was really nice! i'm not sure what else to say but it really was!