|Reviews for Ritual|
| Lousy Poet Automaton chapter 5 . 10/2/2011
Hmm. I still prefer the implication at the end that the psychics departed and became pure energy.
It is a great bit of imagery, Tetsuo with an endless cape of flesh. The story doesn't *Feel* like Akira though, because of the mystical touches. It feels more like a crossover with Hellraiser.
If you ever decide to revisit an Akira fanfic, I highly, highly suggest going to mangareader and going through the manga first. It made me much more appreciative of the movie because there's a clearer picture of the big concepts and plot elements that had to be simplified down.
| Lousy Poet Automaton chapter 3 . 10/2/2011
Hmm. It's a decent idea, but some bits of the implementation fall a little short of its full potential.
1) You're a little light on the details. For example, there's not enough to make readers feel the difference in Kaneda being almost 50 (like the ache in his joints, or that he probably weighs more than when he was a kid and is probably more muscular).
2) The dialogue is mostly OK, but the part with his speech feels a bit forced.
3) The mirror thing feels off-it feels too mystical. It would have been better if the cult recovered pieces of equipment stolen from the old project's labs, or if the game involved something on the internet.
It's still a decent story. Just saying it could be a lot better.
This chapter reminded me of one of the things that made me sad about the transition from the manga to the anime. They made Lady Miyako into a raving lunatic, whereas she was this wise, kind and prophetic figure in the comic. I know they had to simplify things to compress it into the movie, but I would have felt better if they'd just left her out completely instead of doing a 180 on what she was in the comic.