Reviews for Kingdom Hearts : Alpha
BatDarling chapter 2 . 9/25/2012
Are you still planning on doing this story? I sure hope so! Btw, I plan on sending some friends this way! So be ready for a couple more submissions :)
Name : Hari Fare

Age : same as Riku, or just older than Sora

Appearance : She has reddish-orange hair, light blue eyes, and is rather short and skinny. She also has pale skin and a ton of freckles. She wears her hair in a ponytail most times and wears blue shorts and and a white and black striped tank top with those lovely giant shoes, which are black. She also has several white and black bracelets which are used to hold her materia.

Personality : Very outgoing and happy. She tries to never let things keep her down and always sees the silver lining. Her main goal is to keep those she cares about happy and safe. Friendship means everything to her, she would gladly give her life for a friend.

Weapon : She can't use any weapon besides materia, so magic is her only option. She's weak so she can't take a hit either, but she's graceful and can usually dodge.

Background : Her and her best friend grew up loving to cause trouble, but one day her best friend got caught in one of their traps and burned to death. Hari was too scared to do anything but watch, so she quickly began studying how to use materia so she would never have to see someone die again. She developed a fear of fire and left her world as soon as possible.

World of origin : A fire world.

Special events linked to Oc : her best friend dying... I'm not sure what you want here.

Species : Human.

Extra notes : She easily develops crushes if a boy saves her. If you need anything else pm me :) hope you like her!
Number XV chapter 2 . 7/19/2011
Name : Evan

Age : Same as Sora in story.

Appearance : Tall, long jet black hair, green eyes.

Personality : Quiet, kinda hostile.

Weapon : (put two options down if you wish to be a Keyblade weilder just incase I don't pick you to be one) Keyblade, Backwards sword

Background : Orphan from Snowdrop town.

World of origin : (I'm going to be working with non disney , Oc worlds so be vague , for example, machine world) Snowdrop Town

Special events linked to Oc : Obtains keyblade

Species : (heartless,nobody (nobodies do not need an X in the name) , human etc) Human

Extra notes : (anything that you feel is relevant)
Kaishin Briefs chapter 1 . 1/26/2011
Name: Julian Vargas

Gender: Male

World: Giaia (FF7)Currently at Radinat Garden

Age: 16 or 18(he is four years younger then Tifa)

Affliation: Mercenary

Personality: Quiet, Friendly, shy but during battle deadly serious. Myojin Yahiko around Cloud,him and Tifa have a Sango and Kohaku relationship but could never really get to bold with cloud or tifa. Due to the fact that cloud and tifa would always go out their way to spend time with him. They are like his older brother and sister to him and he loves them dearly.


Sword:sakabatō sword (same sword that Himura Kenshin of Rurouni Kenshin. He will only use his sword when someone uses a weapon)

Feet and Fist (ueses muy thai kickboxing, boxing, jujitsu if that is okay with you if not then just his sword. he is strong as tifa when using unarmed combat)

Build: Senel Coolidge of Tales of Legendia

Looks: long braided green hair, chocolate brown skin, 5'3 in height, redish brown eyes, and has a huge scar of an X on his chest and back. (He very picky about people touching it even though Tifa touches alot since she know the story behind it.)

Attire: Black Leather Jacket (100 pounds),black fishnet short sleeved shirt, Black cargo shorts and black military boots.

Background Story: He grew up with Tifa and Cloud and was very close to them. His mother was Tifa piano teacher and a childhood friend of Tifa's mother. His dad (Diego Montoya)was Sephiroth's superior in soldier do to he skill as a 44 successor to the sword art of Hiten Mitsurugi-ryū. When he was ten years old his mom died of a heart disease his dad wanted nothing to done with him or julian mother (Juliata Vargas) and claimed that he only wanted an heir to please his mother. Julian in a fit of rage attacked a Diego but was stroke done leaving that scar of an x on his body. Julian's cousin (Jsu Vargas) who was the 43 successor to the sword art of Hiten Mitsurugi-ryū, took care of him and taught the ways of Hiten Mitsurugi-ryū and wich made him the 45 successor to the sword art of Hiten Mitsurugi-ryū.(their stlye is an updated one were they uses hands and feet as well) Julian stayed with him until he was 16 and went on his on to see the world and find and defeat his father. (He and Tifa have a Sango and Kohaku relationship but he act like Myojin Yahiko around Cloud due to his age.)(this may sound funny to you but tifa and clound had tp disipline julian one day when he decided to act up when he could not have his way and disrepect his mother and they were allowed to put him over their knees and spank him, and till this day tifa and cloud always remind him about it and threaten to do it again.) He is currently looking for his father.

Name:Diego Montoya

Age: 45

Affliation: Former General of Soldier. Currently tormenting his son Julian

Nickname: Aries

World: Giaia (FF7)curently at radiat garden

Personality: (Kenpachi Zaraki, Yujiro Hanma,Sōsuke Aizen and Akuma is what you think when you see him) He is cold hearted like Yujiro, and Akuma and deaedly with his hand and feet like them, a war monger like Yujiro, serious and powerful like Kenpachi. Colloclating and mulipltive like Sōsuke Aizen which makes him the the most deadliest Soldier there is and has has power ki pressure like kenpachi and souke in spiritail Souke in he annacar uniform but an Soldier twist to it.

Weapon: Katana (uses Hiten Mitsurugi-ryū 44 successor)

Feet and Fist (ueses muy thai kickboxing, boxing, jujitsu if that is okay with you if not then just his sword. he is stronger then tifa jonas and julian when using unarmed combat)

Back ground: He is the son of an empeor in a kingdom that is very liitle known about, he is the youngest out of 16 children ( 8 women and 8 men him being the eigth) Coming up he had to fend for him self and since his older siblings wanted him to learn how to fight so he went looking for masters and finaly food one in Ryu Shimura, there he met Jsu Vargas and was introduce to Juliata (Julian future mother) and Laura (Tifa mother) (Jsu older cousin and Laura is Jsu's childhood crush) since they would come to watch the pratice. His father to him that if if any of his children had very strong off spring the kingdom of Lomarian would be that persons. Diego knew who he wanted to have his child and chose Juliata with some sweet talk and con her it in. When Julian was born and growing up he was not what Diego expanted so when Juliata died of a hearts virus diego ditch him and struck Julian down with his sword to told him that he will let him live for know and to get stronger to see if he could defeat him, three years ealier he met Jonas mother during a mission when she was in a bar and had a one night stand with her. During the time when he was traveling looking for mates he joined Soldier becuse he loved fighting and did it on a whilm and became a top rank Soldier when Sephiroth was just a cadet. (Sephiroth give him a wide berth)
Hayashi-Roku chapter 2 . 12/8/2010
Nice plot you got there :)

Name: Luciax

Age: 15


1)Hairstyle: Sora's but Purple

2)Eyes: Left is blue and Right eye is green

3)Clothes :Org 13 coat but a sewn yellow star on the top left

Personality:Cheerful, Optimistic, Good at making desicions. He is scared of fire and all things related to fish

Weapon: Keyblade is the primary weapon but as an Unbeknownst, he can wield any weapon he has touched for for longer than 1 minute

Background: Nobody. Nuff said

World Of Origin: City on the clouds. (Destroyed)

Special events linked to OC: Fire almost killed him. His original was Lucian. He gave himself the name Luciax after his soul was split.

Species: Unbeknownst

Extra notes: Unbeknownst are people who have a split soul. Thus, they can merge with the "Soul" of a weapon and wield it.

Also, he does not know he is an Unbeknownst.
OraOraOrange chapter 2 . 10/18/2010
These kind of stories are really fun to read sooo...i'll give you a character

i hope you can use her

Name : Saifa Mata

Age: 14

Appearance: Saifa has (dark)brown hair which reaches her mid-back and (most of the time) is rather messy for no appearend reason.

She wears a grey dress(with a white maillot undernead),a blue jacket and brown boots,she also has a few bracelets on both her arms.

Personality: Saifa is a snobby girl with a know-it-all attitude,she's rather cold to others but very polite to people she really likes or really respects

It's takes a long time for her to trust others and keeps most to herself,despite her attitude deep down she is really lonely and actuacly a coward at heart when it comes to fighting,she also hates blood.

Weapon: Staff, she relies on magic and spells in battle,although they don't always work perfectly.

Background: Saifa grew up with 3 older brothers and 2 older sisters,who all seemed to be 'Perfect' with many talents,while Saifa couln't do many things or had outstanding talents,She was often ignored by her parents because of this.

Wanting to prove herself,she became the apprentice of a 'wizard' in her village,learning and studying about magic and spells.

World of origin: Forest World, a kinda small world that mostly excist out of...trees,rivers and a few small villages,Saifa lives in one of those villages

Special events linked to Oc: When she was around 7 years old,she almost drowned in a river near her village,one of her brothers saved her,despite it wasn't really a big deal,Saifa is still traumatised by it.

Species: Human

Extra notes: She is a picky eater,can't swim and likes to read

_ good luck with the story
etiger1995 chapter 2 . 10/1/2010
here is a character i hope you could use.

Name : Nexva/Evan

Age : 16/17 (your choice)

Appearance :has spiked black hair that goes down to his shoulders, crystal blue eyes, and tanned skin. He wares xemnas's master coat (unzipped) with a brown t-shirt, and Black jeans underneath.

Personality :Nexva is a calm and devoted nobody, even with everything that he's been threw. He usually tries to avoid conflict unless it's with a nobody (of any type). His view on fighting is making it as quick as possible. He will do anything to protect his companions, even if it cost his own life/nonexistence.

Weapon : a black and wight jousting lance that matches his master form coat. (like galantmon's)

Background :(don't know if you'll need this or not): he was once a Organization XIII member who served directly under Xemnas as a secret assassin. He was originally a weapon smith's apprentice/son until his home was caught up in a war between Heartless and Nobodies .

World of origin : fire world

Special events linked to Oc :After the organization was killed off he took xemnas's master/final form coat and left The world that never was. He also watched as Sora killed off his master.

Species : nobody (who is able to feel limited emotions love, and hatred.

Extra notes : During the brief war his family was killed by a group of berserker nobodies, and he was turned into an organization nobody. Since then he has had a large hatred of Nobodies.
rc chapter 2 . 9/28/2010
Name : Mena "Gravestalker" Gravitas

Age : 16

Appearance : She is 5/3 and has a fairly skinny body build with lean muscles all over her body. She has Greyish white hair that is cut very short like a boy with a few drooping spikes in the front and has grass green eye's and a couple in the back. Despite using bindings, she has very well developed curves that she hides. She has pink full lips and high pink cheekbones and very small delicate hands and feet. She wears a large black hood that covers almost all of her face an a blue undershirt and long sleeve v-neck vest. She has long black rubber gloves and knee legnth black boots long with baggy grey pants. She has 2 sheaths for her knives, one for each shoulders.

Personality : Mena was raised as a boy and has no femininty or modesty and thats the way she likes. She like getting into fights and arguements frequently with very one she genrally meets. Despite this she is a very sweet person who would help anyone no matter who they were. She has a very short temper that goes constantly, and oddly enough is good with making snap descisions. She takes great pride in her fighitng ablility and powers over gravity. And while she is loyal to her stepdad and king, she does question things when they seem more morally wrong.

Weapon : Two small knives(possible keyblade if you want)

Background : Mena was left at the door step of the Weapons Master for the King and belived she was left as a blessing. She was trained in every weapon and was raised as a boy to be a perfect assassin and weapon for her majesty. Mena was home schooled her whole life and was often put against the king best warriors. Mena carried out mission's against factions that were against the king, some were truly evil, some were not. Currently weird shadow creatures have been seen in the castle. Lately however, the king has become more and more unreasonable to the point where Mena has been trying to find out what has gone wrong and what connections there are.

World of origin : Knight world

Special events linked to Oc : Appreance of odd shadow creatures.

Species : Human

Extra notes : Have your characters think she is a boy for part of the sory.
rc 1121 chapter 2 . 9/27/2010
For the record i'm not saying my guy beat Xenmas in a full blown fight, just that he was able to match him in a fist fight.

Name : Kami Rivosse

Age : 1 as a Nobody/ 16 as a human

Appearance : He is 5/9 and has a fairly strong body build but is not overly muscled. He has green hair that has spikes allover but also has a alittle bed head. He has 4 clawlike scars on his left eye when he was "killed" by a heartless. He has a purple eye's which has given him some trouble over his life and a crooked nose from fighting all of his life. He generally wears a black Oranization 13 coat when fighitng or off world and wear long red silk pants, flip-flop sandals, a blue under green under shirt and a short sleeve silk blue shirt and training guantlets. His eye have a tired quality to them when people see them. the coat itself has silver knots where the tassle's are and has shoulder guards(like Deymx).

Personality : Because he is a Nobody, Kami has to fake his emotions has generally retains a smiling look and a slacker attitude to match it. He is a well meaning person but has trouble realizing when to not get involved. H e is respectful to people including his enemeies but does like to make a joke at thier expense. When he get angry however, He displayed the classical monotone voic and his lack of inhumanity but thankful this only happens when he is pushed to unimagnibale points.

Weapon : Orginally had the Unbeatable(A large metal pole) and the ability to shoot out sonic blast when he was a human and is able to control sonics when he became a Nobody. He later the Champion Keyblade after becoming a Nobody, which is a pole with a keyblade on each side. The keyblades them selves have a red blade with 3 sharp knives at the end of the blade and a blue and yellow curved guard like to the kingdom keys, but the gurad s spilt into 3 sperate pieces on each side and are slighty wider. The keychain is a punching glove for both.

Background: Kami has been fighting from the time he has been able to walk and in his world it is nessicary. He never knew who his parent were and has lived on the steert his whole Fighter world, the goverment is held by a dictator by the name of Armina, who is ranked number one. In order to gain power, money and presitge, you must beat other fighters and move up in rank. It is his dream to be number and get rid of the goverment and Armina and replace it with something more friendly. During one match about a year ago, Armina pit Kami against a heart she recived by the main villian. Kami was unable to kill the creature and had his heart stolen, only this backfired when Kami returned as a Nobody and becaem much stronger and able to kill the heartless. He was later visited by a myterious stanger(Xenmas) who offered him a place but was turned down, ecuase he thought he wouldn't fit in and he was against how they opperated depsite wanting to regain his heart. He never the less gave him his own Organization coat after Kami able to hold himself in a hand to hand fight against Xenams who left saying that he might need him later. In the present day he is ranked 100 out of 234,677,743 when your story happens.

World of origin : Fighter World.

Special events linked to Oc : Xenmas fight, being turned into a Nobody.

Species : Nobody

Extra notes: can he recive the keyblade during the beginning of the story.
pomegranatas' Shadow chapter 2 . 9/27/2010
Name: Gaby.

Age: 12

Personality: Goth

Weapons: 2 wire bracelets that melt into lockpocks or sabres. They can imitate any weapon, including keyblade.

Background: Runaway social outcast, doesn't like to talk about it.

World of orgin: Steam punk and Darwinist world

Special events linked to OC: Found living in a steam punk underground hide out she made.

Species: Human

Notes: Dark brown hair, reddish brown eyes, grim looking and generally scares most people, but some find her adorable or remarkable. Often is shy, and is strangely obsessed with Star Wars, Edgar Allen Poe, and genetics. She randomly stabs needles into people, claiming it will give them magic powers, but instead she feeds it to baby Mosquitos and laughs at it with Ravens.

Use this or I'll send my sisters stuffed raven Deimos after you!
etiger1995 chapter 1 . 9/27/2010
i think its a great idea. i think you should put king Micky in it though just because well he ties most of the stories together. i will try to come up with a character for you, but only after i know how the first chapter is set up, unless you would need it.
full on 124 chapter 1 . 9/27/2010
Wow I've never seen a OC Kingdom hearts fanfic before. Can you make a Bio sheet because I want to make my own character.

Please update
rc 1121 chapter 1 . 9/27/2010
Hm... this is very interesting, I would defiently consider reading this if and when you start posting it. Could you put a bio for readers to fill out becuase i would like to submit my own character.

Good luck and update soon!
hajikurazaki19 chapter 1 . 9/22/2010
Your idea sounds lovely. Perhaps a world you could vist would be Krystahl. My OC world. It's basic, standard. It's in my story Krystahl Kingdom Crossover Saga. You only really need chapter one and chapter...six I think.

Just in case you wanted to. I wish you luck.