Reviews for Mass Effect Playa
Elizabeth Carter chapter 1 . 8/26/2013
you may want to re-categorize your story filets label this as a fem Shep but this a a male shoe story just a hint
Kelborn Ordo chapter 7 . 8/16/2013
Chapter six if from the evil dead series said by the protaganist ash played by Bruce Cambel.
hornyzombie chapter 7 . 4/22/2012
lol..I actually like this
hgiagsdgbgadgbadhfdhdafhdf chapter 7 . 3/17/2012
Hi

This is slightly weird but very funny. The idea of a sex maniac Shep is very entertaining. Will read the next and review!
GH0ST77 chapter 7 . 11/16/2011
that was. AWESOME!
Angry Madmoth chapter 7 . 8/5/2011
Three words: I LOVE THIS
The Grinning Psychopath chapter 7 . 7/15/2011
hehehheehehahahahaah oh yeah, you go Jack... she is sorta my favorite character to romance, cause she's absolutely hilarious and hot as well. not usually into bald women but she has spark and flame and style.. she's sassy and fun and just a complete and total badass when you get right down to it. great work gonna check out these sequels of yours..
The Grinning Psychopath chapter 6 . 7/15/2011
hehhAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAAH let me see here... you have him reciting his own form of the line commonly associated with the old Freddy Krueger movies.. so odds are you got that line from Ash from Army of Darkness.. or it might've been in Evil Dead.. no it was Army of Darkness. hah great story looove it.
The Eezoman chapter 7 . 4/16/2011
I...I...I don't even...what is this. I'm trying to come up with a logical response to this story, but honestly, my mind is too busy trying to comprehend everything. I just wanted to say, it was good. very good. I'm going to go lie down for a bit now.
lazyguy90 chapter 7 . 2/2/2011
WHAT THE F #K? Hahahahaha, oh my god this killed me. Bloody fantastic.
Hewhoislost chapter 7 . 12/21/2010
way to funny man, keep uo the good work
Agent-G chapter 5 . 10/17/2010
well I can see this isn't a serious fic although I'm not sure it's really M rated with maybe the exception of Jack's mouth but even that is pretty tame. more like a PG-13 movie in a way but I guess you did it just to be on the safe side.
Agent-G chapter 1 . 10/17/2010
okay for someone with 13 stories I'm surprised you made the most common rookie mistake in writing that's I usually see on this site. You should never, ever have more than one person talking in a paragraph. Yet you keep having them overlap. It's really hard to read and can get confussing at times.

Now it's not as bad as some people who never seem to use the return key at least thankfully but it is really annoying to read.

take this part for instance:

"Are you sure you just didn't attack him?" The Chakwas said looking toward the commander who was still out cold on a bed. "Look I didn't fucking do anything. He came down the stairs and next thing I know he's trying to shove his tongue so far down my throat I might be feeling it for weeks." She said gesturing with her hands. The doctor sighed. "Well as far as I can tell by these scans there doesn't seem to be... wait a sec that can't be right." Said the doc puzzled. "What doc?" Jack said. "Well... according to my readings his hormone levels are 50 times that of a normal human. That might explain why he umm... tried to mate with you." The doc said blushing a little. Jack rolled her eyes "Well what the hell are you going to do about it." She said irritably. "Well until I can find out how to change It i'm gonna have to keep him sedated." She said. Both turned to look at Captain Shepard... but he was gone.

See how it's just one large block of text that is just smashed in together?

Now this is how it should be written where it's a lot easier to read:

"Are you sure you just didn't attack him?" The Chakwas said looking toward the commander who was still out cold on a bed.

"Look I didn't fucking do anything. He came down the stairs and next thing I know he's trying to shove his tongue so far down my throat I might be feeling it for weeks." She said gesturing with her hands.

The doctor sighed. "Well as far as I can tell by these scans there doesn't seem to be... wait a sec that can't be right." Said the doc puzzled.

"What doc?" Jack said.

"Well... according to my readings his hormone levels are 50 times that of a normal human. That might explain why he umm... tried to mate with you." The doc said blushing a little.

Jack rolled her eyes "Well what the hell are you going to do about it." She said irritably.

"Well until I can find out how to change It i'm gonna have to keep him sedated." She said. Both turned to look at Captain Shepard... but he was gone.

See, a lot more clear and easy to read plus the flow of reading it is a lot easier as well as you know when a change in who is talkign is coming up. IT's just one of the things I can't stand is when I see people do this in writing as it's just harder to read and less anjoyable that way.
1000people chapter 6 . 10/14/2010
(shakes head, facepalms) this is one of the most ridicolous fanfiction I've ever read and I'm facepalming even right now.

P.S

I LOST THE GAME
BumbleBeePixie chapter 7 . 10/10/2010
Hilarious story.

I laughed so hard ]
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