Reviews for Harry Potter The New Marauders
Tune4Toons chapter 1 . 7/23/2013
Hello! I'm here on behalf of Reviews Lounge Too as one of our members recommended your story to us. (Little tidbit, did you know your story is almost a third of the length of the longest ongoing story on the site? XD) Before I start, I would like to say yes, I did read through all the way up to when Lily read her letter from Al before I got a nice grasp on what to comment on the most, but I am big on first impressions, so I'm basing my comments here with a mix of overall.

Anyways, there's this fast paced feel to it- you just head straight into the set up, into the next scene, nice and quickly, but a couple of times, I was confused, I'll admit. Like from this chapter for example:

[Scorpius jumped slightly, and was again surprised – especially since Nick was telling his cousins something that he'd been thinking a lot about for most of the summer.]

Was Scorpius able to tell right away that Nick had been thinking about it a lot or what? The way it was here, it'd seem like he had heard Nick talk about it even though they hadn't met till now. It's just that lack of POV consistency in narration that can get confusing (the downside to third person omniscient).

I'm also not sure who the main protagonist here will be as you introduced a lot of characters in this chapter and we see the POV jump around (I know it's omniscient, but it'd be nice to get a clear idea who that one main character is). The imagery is rather limited as well due to the fast pace you have here (like is the building the same as before after the whole battle? Where there differences to Hogwarts compared to what their parents may have described to them? A lot of these little things can make a huge difference.) For the letters as well later on, I recommend Italics to differentiate them the rest of the narration.

I know you probably wouldn't like hearing concrit on the first chapter when you're over one million in, but first chapters leave big impressions, and the idea of continuing off from where HP ends is a great one, so I hope all this helps. Cheers!

- Tune
LORISCHROM chapter 143 . 7/23/2013
I absolutely loved this story and the one before it, Happily Ever After. I would recommend it to anyone who wanted to find out what happened during those "19 years later." I thought the author had some great ideas and it was truly a pleasure to read.
CheckersChance2 chapter 1 . 6/3/2013
How the hell did you write (probably) the longest fanficiton EVER, and get less than a hundred reviews? O_O
GarionRiva chapter 21 . 5/29/2013
Well I got really bored after 20 chapters. I miss the darkness and seriousness harry potter books had. I have no problem with your time of the story but give us more range and variety.
I like the first chapters but then romance afloat. I wanted to see more variation from your characters and more development outside all the kisses, hugs...
Liam chapter 1 . 3/23/2013
How the fuck do you have so much story, and so little reviews? You're awesome!
Prince Steven chapter 143 . 2/14/2013
Great forgot to mention that Kira's grandson Merlin became a Wizard King.
danny chapter 140 . 2/12/2013
Tom Riddle was not the Dark Lord. The Dark Lord was Tom Marvelo Riddle Jr. Tom Riddle was he's muggle father.
tobby chapter 125 . 2/7/2013
A male is a fiance.
A female is a fiancee.
skippy chapter 83 . 1/15/2013
Oh my excitemt.
skippy welch's chapter 82 . 1/15/2013
That was one long the evil wizard?
skippy chapter 80 . 1/11/2013
Wheres my ticket?
skippy chapter 70 . 1/6/2013
12 IS ALSO LESS THAN 13
skippy chapter 49 . 1/1/2013
Where is Ana & Kirley & Kieran?Where is Spellbound?
skippy chapter 37 . 12/31/2012
He defeated Tom Marvelo Riddle Jr. In this story you wrote Tom Riddle . Hope this helps.
skippy chapter 2 . 12/27/2012
I thought al was harrys wrote Uncle harry in the ?
111 | « Prev Page 1 2 3 4 5 .. Last Next »