Reviews for Red Under the Moon
DrizztStorm chapter 1 . 8/19/2015
i found this from LA Knight and i must say i am impressed by this short story
Foxy-Floof chapter 1 . 8/31/2013
Wow... This is nifty. I got here by way of Once Upon a Time... The author recommended you.
I don't know quite what to say about this piece, except that it makes me a little reflective, a little maudlin, a little sad... But I really like it.

It's got a ring of finality to it, like it's something you expect to see in the last diary entry of a long-lost and tragic heroine. Like she wanted her last words to be something that she'd always thought and was afraid to share with others.
Ya Nefer Ma'at chapter 1 . 12/30/2011
Hi OceanFire9,

Lovely introspective... lyrical and powerful and highly enjoyable. Thanks for sharing this with us!

I love your rant on your profile about Mary-Sue. You feel a *bit* strongly about her, I gather...
TheBlackPages chapter 1 . 8/16/2011
So many thoughts ran through my mind as I read this piece...I am simply at a loss for words.

I am afraid I'm not very sure what to say about this, the right words simply don't want to come to mind. So you will have to excuse me if my review isn't exactly among the best you have ever received.

This is a very beautiful piece indeed, for there flows an honesty from your fingertips that just captures the reader. Sorrowful, mystical and beautiful, the juxtaposing elements battle across the written lines of this piece, this very inspiring, thoughtful, full of imagery story.

I absolutely loved these parts:

-A father. That's something no girl should ever have to live without. Protector, defender, provider. Everything that makes a man.

-How can anyone be a stranger, when your very soul recognizes them, your equal and your opposite?

Write more?:)

I would also like to add that I absolutely love what you have written on your profile and I'll be sure to check out more of your work and leave a line or two as feedback, as my time allows. I'm battling my own fiction at the moment, not to mention many exams.

PS: if I find a multi-chapter story among your posted pieces of fiction, I'll make sure to write the "update plz!" :P
Guest chapter 1 . 7/28/2011
Wow... that was amazing. It was so short I read it several times and had different opinions each time, but each time it gave me shivers. I loved it!
LA Knight chapter 1 . 7/7/2011
Ho. Lee. Crap.

Okay, I am NOT going to write a one-line review, and from your profile it seems like constructive criticism would make you happy, but I don't have any. That is beautiful stuff. Poetic prose, without the curse of being purple (apparently purple prose is bad). I like the dichotomy (sp?) of male versus female, mother/grandmother versus father/boyfriend, and lover vs archenemy. It is portrayed beautifully through the use of simple prose and archetypal description.

You don't get overly verbose, but keep it simple. Very much as if Red herself were speaking. It's almost like... I imagine Red sitting before the fire, talking to her daughter who is also herself, and a boy, or a creature, or a faerie, or someone like that, who is also the wolf (or will be one day). And Red is telling her daughter that she will know the wolf when she meets him, but also telling the young wolf that she knows him now.

And I love how you tell the story of Little Red Riding Hood, without actually telling it. This is not just a piece of fiction, but a work of literary merit (I suggest sending it to a magazine). In my AP Class a few years back, we talked about this story and I can't remember what it's called now, but it's about Hansel and Gretel, without it actually *being* Hansel and Gretel. And the Reader understands as they read what is going to happen, and what the story is about, and they feel the danger and mystery and thrill of it, but you never actually see either the witch herself, or the kids. Even so, this story made it into a literature textbook and is considered a hard-hitting piece of work. In the same vein, your story has all the same literary merit, while still relating a beautiful, dark, and moving story.

Also, I noticed you use a lot of sentence fragments ("Protector, defender, provider.") but you don't overuse them. They are very effectively placed, and because of this they evoke beautiful imagery and concepts. I liked it a lot (if you can't tell, lol).

Finally, there is the thing about the wolf. Oh, the part about the wolf. Words... fail me (for the most part). I can't explain how it touched me. It showed the fine line between love and hate, lover and enemy, soulmate and nemesis. And yet again, you take the wolf and turn him into the Wolf, the archetype of both lover and slayer. It is not characters you're working with in this piece, but archetypes, and it is beautiful. Simply beautiful.

I know I said I had no criticism, but I have just one thing, as I'm rereading the very end. The last line seems a bit too abrupt. It goes, "Different face, different name, just as you will know me." It feels almost as if there should be a final one-liner afterwards. May I suggest (and you are free to use or disregard this advice as you choose) making that final line: "Different face, different name, but always I will know you. Just as you will always know me. Always."

That's just my opinion, and even without it, it is still a beautiful piece. I favorited it, because it is just gorgeous. You should send it in somewhere, you totally should. I could see this in some of the faerie tale anthologies Ellen Datlow and Terri Windling have edited (Snow White, Blood Red, for example). It's breathtaking. Thank you for posting it.


LA Knight
Dancing Trees chapter 1 . 4/7/2011
It is beautiful
I Am Lady J chapter 1 . 12/30/2010
Absolutely beautiful.
ThisWasOnceAnActiveAccount chapter 1 . 11/2/2010
Wow, that's amazing. Awesome descriptions!
matsukanishi09 chapter 1 . 10/20/2010
The story had very good prose, the story making itself enigmatic in some way. This had really got me thinking of their identities and their purpose in the story. You have made the fairy tale deeper and that is a very good job done.

Two thumbs up!
Joelle Hart chapter 1 . 10/3/2010
This breathes new life into a myth I thought I knew. Reminds me of Angela Carter stories, like in "The Bloody Chamber."
Cristinne chapter 1 . 9/30/2010

dude, that was really really good! I like the way you write, it really draws the reader in. I would say it was wordy, but it wasn't, every word made this piece great...

good job.
ravenlunatic96 chapter 1 . 9/29/2010
I realy liked this story how it lets you free to guess what really went on...and i looove the line about the wolf always being her pursurer.

i also liked how it hinted at the wolf being her lover, and well...i simply fell in love. please write more like this!
Hikarin-Love chapter 1 . 9/26/2010
Very interesting piece, but not exactly poetry, then again maybe in a poetic angle...anyway, it's different and i like different. putting it in my red riding hood community.