Reviews for Secret Motives
MarinaStryke chapter 22 . 11/21/2012
I loved this story and the characters, I think you did an amazing job of writing with keeping it on track and still finding ways to put in humor. From my (probably thankfully) kidnappless and murdererless/murderless point of view, it was really believable, and you captured all of their emotionally whatnotness and mental (in)saness really well. After writing this, you may be my new best friend even though you changed your name :)
i-Spit-on-Fire chapter 22 . 8/17/2011
that was AMAZING! i would have reviewed the other story but i was so caught up in the story i forgot, sorry... anyway i was shocked when i found out Tamaki was a secret agent becuz well i just doesnt fit him so congrats to thinking up such a great idea, which also includes the story becuz i LOVED IT!
Aurora-16 chapter 22 . 7/22/2011
amazing! i feel so cheap but this is all i have time for...ill send a long message later gushin over it i promise! cyber everything to you!
LunaBlackLovesPie chapter 22 . 7/22/2011
Blah Blah Blah,

"Tamaki, quit that suicidal shit. Now is not the time for teen angsting!" Stephanie yelled as she waltzed into the room. Then she looked at the floor and noticed she had stepped in blood, "Gross."

When she looked up she saw Connor and nearly peed herself, "So…you're not dead. B-But there was fire and then you went poof and… Damn, how high was I?" she mused to herself as she assisted in untying him. She voiced into a device, "Mission completed. Connor found on scene. Return mission commenced."

HAHAHAHAH *Steps in blood* "Gross." I WOULD not care about that fact xD


"I… have a double life…" I announced dramatically. Everyone gasped and then I continued to say the following, "… as a gigolo, and his name is Pablo." I admitted.

Everyone sighed in disappointment and Joshua gave me this glare as he went back to his seat.

"So, how much exactly would one have to pay to meet this Pablo?" Kyoya asked jokingly.

"Pablo's a cheap bitch. You can pay him in food stamps."

I want to meet him. So hardd(;


"Why? Where are you going?" Tamaki said in a panicked voice. She chuckled. The clever bastard wasn't sleeping at all.

"I don't know!" she said loudly, "Maybe I'll move to England. Maybe I'll settle down. Hmmm, I don't know, get married?"

He pretended to gag and she chuckled, "What? I can be normal! I can totally…hey; maybe I'll even have kids! That'd be nice."



When Stephanie left on her journey of self-discovery, she promised to write. Even then, Tamaki was pretty torn up about it. I told him we'd talk about it over some deserts and coffee over at our favorite French café (the only French café in our area).

"She's lying. She won't write." he moaned while we checked out of the airport and walked to the car.

"She's not lying." I said simply.

I wouldn't forget to write xD I'd be too stoked to NOT write about all the shit I would see.


"You're very correct. I can't." he turned to me and asked, "Would you, Maria Standford, take me, Tamaki Suoh, as your lawfully crack headed business partner?"

"I do." I said, and couldn't resist the urge to bust out laughing when I saw his mother's face.

I want someone to ask me that. EXACTLY like that xD I'd flip out, laugh, and be happy as hell.


It struck me that Tamaki was becoming a badass



"I want another hermit crab." he said.



"No. Even after I issued the statement, one-third of them decided to stay. And as you know, that's a lot of people. So, I thought, why not work for the greater good? And that's when it hit me: The Agency is coming out of the closet!" he declared, which earned us quite a few stares.

Coming out of the closet. I love the way you did that.


Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.



"So like, you guys had sexy fun lovey dovey time?" I asked. Yeah, I know. Several years of health class and my terminology was equivalent to that of a grade schooler's.

He looked like he was about to vomit, "NO! It was…just a peck…"

"You need to get your definition of a peck checked out." Kyoya interrupted from his desk.

Haruhi overheard and went, "So, does that mean you've always been gay?"

"No!" he exclaimed.

"So, I turned you gay?" she exclaimed and hit him on the arm while pouting.

"No!" he said again.

"I didn't know you could turn people gay." Honey said in a confused voice, and Mori proceeded to cover his ears.

"Youuuu."Tamaki growled while glaring at Kyoya and I.

"Us." we said in unison.



He began to drag me out into the hallway and then he said to Kyoya, "I'll deal with you later."

And, get this, Kyoya went, "Can't wait." with a wink. That sent Tamaki over the edge and he ran out of the room with me following behind.

"He's just…those are the drugs talking." Tamaki said.

"No! Kyoya admitted he had a problem and went to one of those self-reform meetings a couple of days ago. You know that." I said with a chuckle.

"I can't tell the difference between a drugged Kyoya and a normal one. Is that bad?" he asked.

"No. Personally, I think he just likes seeing you flustered. I mean, you look adorable…" I admitted.

"This is no time for compliments! Wait, you think I look adorable?" he asked.

Damn it, he never lets a single compliment slide. So, I distracted him by pretending to have an asthma attack and telling him to go retrieve my inhaler. Which he'll never find.

Wanna know the trick?

I don't have asthma.

Can't wait ;D

and that was a pretty bitchass trick xD


"Okay, so, my bitches, my play is today. And you're all going to be there. End of story." Connor announced over the loud speaker, and then it sounded like he was getting into an argument with the School President before she snatched the intercom and began to make morning announcements.



She had the balls to wear a simple vintage t-shirt with one of those rock bands on it as well as some shorts and sneakers. She took off her neon green sunglasses and placed in on her lap. Then she said with a dazzling smile, "Missed me?"

"Stephanie, I'd appreciate it if you gave me a notice when you visit! And what's with the outfit?" Tamaki exclaimed.

"Don't you love it? I got it for free!" she leaned in and whispered, "I'm dating this really cute guy and he designs clothes. You'd think he was gay, but apparently not, considering that time in his room when we-"

"I'm going to request you don't share the details." Tamaki interrupted.

"Jealous?" she asked.

"Very." he said sarcastically.

And although I could see she was gearing up to make a really biting comment, most likely about the size of Tamaki's assets, the play started.



And that's how I learned to disarm a bomb

Although it consisted of a lot of yelling and screaming—"Which wire is it?" "The yellow one!" "The fuck, that's not yellow! That's mustard seed." "You are gay."—we made it out okay.



Even with a weirdo like Tamaki Suoh as you're partner in crime.


I'M SO FUCKING HAPPY/SAD/PISSED THAT THE STORY IS OVER! My character was wonderful to watch in action. You better write a story like this. I swear to god, I will kill you if you dont.

I love the way you ended this. But at the same time, I'm disappointed. I'll extrapolate that sentence later.I can't wait for whatever you decide to write next. I love you, and I love your writing. The feeling will ALWAYS be mutual (:


-That Kidd
LunaBlackLovesPie chapter 21 . 7/19/2011
Iiiiiiigh, well, i'm just going to start the way I normally do

So blah blah blah and shit:

"Oh, Maria, you don't have to worry about me." he said with a ominous grin.

Dun wurreh, I have Stephanie xD She'll pop out, flip shit, and blow crap up, just like she always does!


"It makes sense now. You thought you were going to get rid of me, send poor old Connor to the stars like he wished? Poor; troubled Connor. He wouldn't amount to much anyway, is what you told yourself. That's how you rationalized it." he took a deep, sad breath, then exhaled in another brief chuckle. He shook his head vigorously, as if to shake the disturbing thought from his memories.

Sounds plausible xD


"Stop talking. Who gave you the privilege to speak?" the Director yelled, seeming to forget that it was him.



The Director did not respond, but hurled things at the boy to get him to shut up.



A few moments later, in this very room, a gun went off.

YOU KILLED KENNY! You bastard... I schpink the director shot somethiinnnggg D: maybe in the arm or in the toe or something...


"AHA!" I shouted as a busted into the room, because scaring people pissless usually buys one enough time to think up a plan. No, I did not learn that tactic from training. I learned it from personal experience



"You look like hell." I said with a smile.

That's something you say at this moment xD


"Well, at least I'm not going to hell." he coincided, with a wink.

"Oh, Connor," I crooned, "I think at this point we're all going to hell."

And we laughed, because that's what we usually did when we didn't want to cry.

Very effective method!


And you were right about the humor thing xD You should probably change that to like, suspense or psychological(not even sure if that's an option)or something like that. All in all, it was a good chapter. I'm a tad bit sad that you're almost done with this story Dx

What will I read NOW? Ayoooo, you give mama a tummyache. one day I get cancer and yo goin to cry and go 'Waah, Waah, wai was i no good daughter? I should marry good korean doctor and have asian babies that bring shexi back.' and then you'll serve cake at my funeral xD UPDATE SOON, JEFF.

-That Kidd
Aurora-16 chapter 21 . 7/13/2011
Wow...your humour at all. Bit it wouldn't fit anyways. This was the most intense chapter ever. Honestly though...I long of liked sit the most. The depth and feeling you showed was amazing. I also have to be honest in saying Maria and tamaki would make a cute couple, although it was so sad he had to shoot...loved it so super much. Thanks bunches! Cyber cotton candy and candy apples to you! (Lol sorry the fair is on town here so I'm craving those things)
LunaBlackLovesPie chapter 20 . 7/3/2011
You know the drill(;


Pissed more than terrified, he groaned, and thought, Motherfucker…I'm going to die tied up like some fetish porn star.



It can't be him, it can't be him, it can't be him.



"Um, I think I'm going to kick some ass? Maybe I'm wrong?" He looked at Maria, and she nodded affirmatively.

This reminds me of some of our conversations. And some of the conversations that you have with Hunter. xD


Holy toledos! Tamaki told off his mom, and I had never been so proud of the pansy in my entire life.

Holt toledos. Who's the fag now, hmm?


he simply knows how to enjoy the good things in life.

Zombieland, anyone?


I threw myself into the corner of the closet and banged my head against the wall repeatedly.

Always the broom closet. What a nice place to be...


And within the next ten minutes, Tamaki was a full-blown expert.


All in all, 'twas a good chapter. I already knew that it was going to be Maria's daddy turning out to be the Director. He's one sick dude, ya know. And I'm glad that Connor won. It's not even that she was trying to, it's just that Maria is so stupid that nobody know how to catch her. Some call it dumb luck, I call it sheer genius.
Aurora-16 chapter 20 . 6/30/2011
holy shit! **dies** (that is all you get fo this chapter :P cyber pizza to you!)
LunaBlackLovesPie chapter 19 . 6/26/2011
All schriiigghhtyyy, less goo :D

"For all this walking, we better be headed to Narnia."

I wanna go sleep with Prince Caspian ;D


"I bet I'll be the one to shoot the Anti-Director." she said, nonchalantly.

"Oh, I beg to differ." I replied.

"You think?"

"I know."

"It's on."

"Like Donkey Kong."



"My word! It's absolutely revolting down here. How far are we from the headquarters?" he whined, stopping every five seconds to clean the accumulating muck on his expensive shoes.

He's supposed to sound FRENCH, not BRITISH. Honestly, jessica, don't kil Tamaki's image! I just hear a whining BRITISH voice xD


"Better be. Last time I walked this fast was to catch the ice-cream truck." I said, making eye-contact with Tamaki, who in turn gave me an approving nod and a smile.



True to my word, I stopped walking at half-mile intervals. Each time I got a foot up my ass via Joshua "douchebag" Grant.

"Keep moving, Ms. Standford! We don't have all year!" he'd say every time, military commander-style.

"I didn't sign up for this!" I replied.

"YES YOU DID!" the others said in unison.

And at that point, realizing I could not deny anything, I settled for a scowl and a curse word or two.

1.) lololol, his middle name is DOUCHEBAG xD

2.) I love the unison screaming xD

3.) Just like little children... *sigh*


My last sight before the darkness was Connor engulfed in flames.

What a pleasant sight -_- WAI YOU DO THAT, LADYFACE! I WILL KIWL YOU Dx


Kyoya was silent. He rather hated the thought of dying, not in general, but in such an anti-climactic way. To perish in a tunnel of darkness…how dull.

I'd hate it if my death was anti-climactic...


"If you move I'll kill you." Stephanie said.

*points dramatically* I WILL FUCK. . xDD


"Shut up, will you? We can't have rookies jeopardizing the operation." I'm protecting you, you brat. I'm giving you the option to live.

And he heard everything she wanted to say in that instant. He shut up, sat in the corner, and wondered one thing: How was Stephanie willing to protect such a strange guy, when even his own mother was nowhere to be found.



"How boring!" he cried aloud, seeming on the verge of hysteria.

No one knew what he was talking about, and Tamaki contributed his random outbursts to lack of medicine, "He's prone to recklessness when he's like this. Watch him. And, for God's sake, don't let him anywhere near your mouth!" Tamaki instructed as he went to go help out Stephanie.

Confused, Maria sat next to Kyoya, feeling as secure as one could feel when surrounded by gunshots and too much blood to be real.

"Are you, like, brain dead?" Maria asked him. Kyoya looked at her, not quite knowing how to respond. Out of all the things to say! Kyoya knew he was right in judging Maria as interesting.

"Maybe." he said. He coughed, but no blood came up. How fantastic would that have been? He continued, "At least I'm not the one pretending not to be sad."

Just when Maria was about to reply, Lorenzo announced, "Systems down!" All bullets were targeted in his direction. They all missed, because he was made of stone, unbreakable! Chipped, yes. Cracked, of course. But at the end of the day, none could break him unless they threw him into the flames…

He continued on to say, "Welcome, Agents and Anti-Agents alike, to paradise!" And with a grin he pressed one red button, and the floor fell from beneath everyone's feet. He had lied. He was sending them all to hell.

1.) Indeed, how boring.

2.) Kyoya is MEGA retarded xD

3.) I wish I could be sent to hell with them people. Seems interesting xD


"To take out the big guy himself!" Joshua replied.

"No, that's my job, turd!" Stephanie shrieked at Joshua, who was a year younger than her, as well as five inches shorter.

Joshua, who was not afraid of anything, gulped.

I would. If i want something, i will KILL for it.


"HOLY SHIT!" she yelled shooting several times in the direction of the bullet. She heard someone fall to the ground, and grinned, satisfied.

"Still think you want to cross me?" Stephanie asked Joshua. He shook his head, and just when she was about to go in search of the Director's office she was stopped.

"I'd rather if Maria went." the Anti-Director said, and begrudgingly.

Shaking, Stephanie refused, "You…you can't do this to me! I've worked for this! I've wasted my youth for this moment…the moment when I have that pitiful fool before me, begging for mercy. Saying, 'Don't shoot! Please, don't shoot!' And at first, I'd let him think he was going to live…right before I shot him. Three times. Once in the chest, and twice in the head. Just to make sure he stays dead…."

Sounds exactly like me -


The Anti-Director interrupted this disturbing narration to say, "That's exactly why I can't let you do this. You're hardened by years of loss, and betrayal. We need someone with mercy." she said the word as if it were holy.

"Mercy!" whilst Stephanie thought it to be a curse, "Who needs mercy when you have a gun?"



A/N: No music this chapter. Absolutely nothing could have been fit into this situation. Could you imagine? Tamaki in the middle of this battle, playing the piano, and singing, 'Why Can't We Be Friends'? As tempting as it was, I didn't. Although this story is humorous at times, it's not a parody.



i LOVED this chapter. I can't wait for the next one!

As, aslways, i will kill you if i dont read this story again.

-That Kidd.
Aurora-16 chapter 19 . 6/26/2011
this is why i lo9ve this tsory. i think i experienced every emotion possible i was angry, upset and laughed as well. and nuuuuuuu conner! and gosh,,..lorenzo was awesoem here too. i look forward to more. i am seriously at a loss for words. you are so freakin talented :) cyber surprise box to you i only have ninety two left now. i am in no way responisble for what may or may not come out of the box due to the authors imagination or lack there of. it may cause insanity, sanity, laughter or tears. who knows? enjoy! ;)
Aurora-16 chapter 18 . 6/12/2011
you know, i could spend teh next few weeks pondering and thinking about what you will do and all that stuff, but i believe i will be smart, wait and see what you actually ahver happen **nods** save my brain power and suchness. but anyways, as usual, i loved teh chapter the kyouya bit with maria was cute :) i do enjoy your fluff. thanks so super much for your update. now...i must go and ifnish my own, very over due chapter...yeah...bye! oh and congratulations! you revie teh second surprise box! i have one hundred to give out to wonderful writers! i am not in any way shape or form liable or responisble for what may or may not come out of this box due to teh authors imagination. all after effects suh as and not limited to teh destruction of said authors imaginary world, saniety (if owned) and or personal health cannot be attributed to me. enjoy! ;)
LunaBlackLovesPie chapter 18 . 6/12/2011
'Twas amazing. Methinks you've perfected the art(:
Aurora-16 chapter 17 . 5/13/2011
LOL LOL LOL OMG this chapter was awesome times ten and a half. the kiss didnt shock me that much, but thats because i rarely get surprised anymore. and ive learned to expect teh unexpected with you. but im glad your giving kyouya a larger role. hes oen of my fav characters. and yoru right, hes teh most unstable at times, which is ironic because he acts so cool. deep down hes much more liek hikaru i think, but acts more like mori until it all bottles up on him. i just love his sexiness tho...especially his english voice in teh dubbed. day-yum. aaaanyways, thansk a bunch for teh update and i look forward rto more! cyber whatever teh hell you want ;)
Aurora-16 chapter 16 . 5/9/2011
wow. i loved it. and yay! there was some stuff with lorenzo and vivienne. and awww...i had hoped you would make a small story...darn...well you cuold always write it and send it tome and id be eternally grateful. anyways i was wondering if you could send me a link to teh song you mentionned since it seriously sounds super good. my email is preciousbaby_15 hotmail . com, but without teh saces. anyways thanksa super big bunch once again and i loook forward to the next chatper as always. cyber smore donuts to you.
LunaBlackLovesPie chapter 16 . 5/8/2011
Tamaki could do nothing but stare at me, surprised that I had the balls, or as he would say, audacity, to blatantly state the obvious. And, maybe the situation hurt more when put into words. I'm not quite sure. Romantic relationships aren't my thing, don't hold that against me.

Oh, why does this remind me of a CERTAIN somebody...?(:


Personally, I thought the break-up was better for him. School relationships aren't meant to last forever, anyone with a brain knows that.

yerrppp, duuh.


I responded by yelling profanities so loudly that I'm sure Waldo came out of hiding.

Man, waldo be coming out to see me and my sexy body 33


"Cut those nails, will you? They're very un-lady like, and they hurt." Tamaki admonished, as he examined a scratch on his arm.

"And you slugged me in the arm. Doesn't mean you have to cut your hand off, now does it?" I countered, and we were silent again.



I'd go back to being the commoner, and Joshua would go back to being the person who hated people like me (I believe the term is hater).



Tamaki: He'll eat me or something.

Me: Tamaki, he's not a cannibal.

Tamaki: Prove it.

Me: Have you been watching the history channel again?

Tamaki: I bet I'm tasty. ;D

Me: Get in the damn car.

I bet you are, Tamaki. I bet you are... Midnight lovin'


"Mr. Director Dude Sir?"

"Call me Lorenzo." cue that million dollar smile that could set a room on fire.

"Mr. Lorenzo Dude Sir?"


That the first thing he broke was an angel.

Ohhh nooo, now you've gone and fudged the bucket.


"So, I was talking to my friend Sebastian-"

"The school's Vice-President?"

"Yeah, that one. He's having a party this weekend and…well…"

"Say no, Mom. He's going there to breed." I assured her. Connor initially choked on his bite of meatloaf, but then he instantly recovered.

No kidding. The way people dance today, it isn't even danging. It's a pre-mating ritual.


"Tamaki! You said you'd give me a ride to school today." I admonished over the phone the next morning. He was running late.

"The love of my life fancies another. I have nothing else to live for!" Tamaki whimpered.

"Ouch. So, that means I'm nothing, huh?"


Yep. I bet overnight he decided our temporary truce was over. He was heartbroken, and blaming me. I decided to ignore that for the sake of progress. Mom always said to choose my battles.

"Get out of the bed, before I drag you by your hair, Goldilocks." I threatened.

Okay, so maybe I can't resist a good argument.

"As if you can get past the maids." he said in a superior tone.

Challenge. Fucking. Accepted.

I saw jon's face when the challenge accepted thing happened.


Surprisingly enough, I chose to be nicer.

"I'm sorry." he didn't seem to buy into it. So, I had to do some soul-searching. Say sorry, and mean it. Ugh, that sucked. But before I knew it my mouth started moving on its own, and I was overcome by actual guilt.

"And I know you love her, and I knew it would hurt you. But…I guess I'm so used to you recovering so quickly that I always figured what I said didn't offend you and I…"

Before long I found myself starting to tell the truth; babbling. Damn emotions.

"She's lucky, you know. To be loved like that, I mean. It's all anyone can hope for…"

And if you think that's bad, pretty soon I found myself complimenting the oaf.

"You're an inspiration. I couldn't even imagine what it's like to…yet you still smile and its incredible…"

And then he was in front of me, surprisingly not wearing some superior smirk, or admitting victory but he was gazing at me in awe. It was as if I was some fascinating creature that he had never seen before. Two inches away—he had never had a concept of personal space— close enough that I could see him mouthing the words, "How curious."

I started to speak again, but he instantly put his hand over my mouth as if I were about to spew missiles, and held me at arms length, "We both know that if you say one more nice thing towards me you might explode. Let's call it a day, yes?"



But since I didn't want him getting any funny ideas, to put him in his place I said in a particularly loud voice, "And you're great in bed too."



He and his maids attacked me with breakfast items. And I'm the head case.

I wish I could be attacked with breakfast items...


"Is that a dartboard with Haruhi's face on the wall?" I asked.

He grinned, "I had Stephanie make it."

I would.

'They all live happilllyy haappiillyy HAAAAPPPIILLLYY EEVVVERRR AAFFTTERRR... those mother fucking piece of shit bastards.'


"And you're rude as hell. If you were my child I'd beat you."

"It all makes sense now…" he exclaimed, as if having a revelation.


"You're a sadist!" he announced.

I then hit him in the head, which probably didn't help my case.

"Go get all excited somewhere else…" he said, teasing.

"Kiss my ass."

"I don't waaaaant to." he whined.

I'd beat him anyways xD


It's an un-named piece by Yiruma.

Dot dot dot, by Yiruma. That's a fine selection my lady. A very fine one, indeed.


Well, Maria darling, it all started with a dark alleyway and a man with malicious intent, Lorenzo could have replied.

You see, I was walking whilst my trousers were descending, and all of a sudden a man came from behind me, pulled my pants down, and let me just say, that my arse is still sore to this very moment. I killed that m,an, by the way. WITH THIS THUMB.


a heart so full of love…




Lorenzo liked breaking things.

As do i.

-That Kidd
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