|Reviews for The Bonds created|
| Razell chapter 10 . 10/31/2015
Ray's full of surprises. People expect him to be a rude, arrogant bad-boy, and he can be, but beneath that toughness is a good kid who really cares about others and is willing to help them whenever he can. He can, and has, risked his life willingly for others, both friends and strangers.
Someone seems to be in love with Pietro, or at least crushing on him. He's very charming. It's sad how the students and staff at the school and The Brotherhood kids let petty differences in opinion and old grudges keep them apart. The adults, at least, should know better.
Brandy's been through so much it's amazing she's able to function at all. She's a lot stronger inside than she thinks she is, so she should pull through, with time and care, and love.
As always, I blame Scott. Everything bad is Scott's fault unless proven otherwise.
| Guest chapter 1 . 10/31/2015
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| Razell chapter 9 . 7/23/2015
That's something you don't see often in Xavier, getting so emotional about a student. He usually seems at best warm but distracted, like he cares but he has other things to do so he can't spend much time on one student. Here he's worried to the point, I feel, of approaching some kind of breakdown himself about Brandy. She seems to be his main focus. And she clearly needs help. It could be because he was inside her mind with all of the terrible things that dwell there.
There are so many questions about this story, as I haven't read the first yet. Teklos, aliens, Seth, Mika, Brandy and Pietro being tortured and being in love. Gambit.
I always enjoy seeing Ray portrayed as a friendly, helpful person. He's far more than just a hot-headed kid or a social misfit. He's working with the others to help try to bring peace between mutants and humans. He could easily ditch Xavier and go back to The Morlocks (okay, maybe not, considering how they treated him last time he showed up in the tunnels) or join The Brotherhood, but he's chosen to tough it out and try to do good for other people, even if they hate him. He's willing to put his life on the line for others, and can be kind and caring when someone needs an understanding friend or a shoulder to cry on.
Like I said, it's hard to understand everything without having read the first part, such as what Teklos is. I think you said he was an alien, but I'm not sure. He sounds like he's on the level of The Shadow King, which is very, very bad for everyone involved.
There are some grammatical issues,some words seem out of order ('Even it seemed to stir some emotions within him as her body was shaking a bit.' might sound better as 'It stirred his emotions within him as he saw that she was trembling a little.') and the sentences sometimes seem too short, as if one or two could have been linked together into a longer sentence. Just some friendly advice, not criticism.
Thank you for all the comments by the way.
| navime chapter 1 . 3/3/2012
| Velvet Sin chapter 4 . 7/15/2011
Well, not always perfect but I like how you do it. Can't wait to see the next chapter.
| Sonar chapter 3 . 10/9/2010
Update: I made a mistake in the following:
He could feel her struggling even before he used her powers. It's suppose to be "his" powers"