|Reviews for That Depends|
| AngelofDarkness95 chapter 3 . 10/27/2013
This is great please post more soon :)
| LadyMoevot chapter 2 . 1/15/2013
| Ryo-Hellsing chapter 2 . 2/7/2012
I loved it! I hope you continue this story soon :3 Can't wait to see what happens.
| chibiloki88 chapter 2 . 10/19/2011
i liked this story and this idea! its a little non-typical, but it makes sense to me and i really enjoyed it. id love to see where you go with it :)
| Decaying Dream chapter 2 . 2/25/2011
Anubis' character seems a lot more sadistic than in the actual series, where the gatekeeper to the underworld was presented, in large part, as a hero, and with Paul playing the sadistic, cold-hearted boy. I expected Paul to be cruel and sadistic, and Anubis to be the hero, however it seems that they are both villainous characters thusfar in your story, with Paul seeming as though he may be forming the anti-hero form that might endear him to the readers. Some of the phrasing and wording seemed off to me, but, as you are drawn more into your own story, I'm sure that will correct itself over time. The idea of Paul calling Anubis Antubis seems a bit foreign to me, I expected him to call him a mutt or something because he refers to him as though he were actually Mary's pet dog in the series. Some of the things that happened that I did not expect were good, however others seemed to confuse me, primarily the switching of personality rules, however, just because an idea is foreign does not mean it is not a good idea. Overall, it seems to be an intriguing story, and, although it doesn't seem like something I'd particularly like, I prefer stories that attempt to explain the background of the characters as opposed to new events happening at the hospital, it does seem like something that will form into a nice story that I will try to keep tabs on to see if I could grow into the storyline.
| AoUsagi chapter 1 . 12/30/2010
haha - so cool! good job, i really like it! _
| Alienatia chapter 2 . 11/26/2010
Dammit! Now I really freaking interested! Please write more.
| crepes chapter 2 . 11/1/2010
Wow I really liked this chapter. it is nice to know that you have a good imagination that works with the series and that you think of little details like the soda and the term short timers. I just rewatched the series and I still love it as much as the first time. It actually made me think of your story and led me to wonder when you'd update. I'm really glad you did and can't wait for more of yur fresh and interesting writing style! Thanks for giving me a heads up too!
| minlin chapter 1 . 10/16/2010
Oooh, Paul better be careful. Not so sure this is a good or bad thing.
| George P chapter 1 . 10/4/2010
First off, I'm not familiar with "Kingdom Hospital," so I had to read the Wikipedia article on it. That having been said, this comes across well. Good opening line. The reader is immediately placed in a terrifying situation. It's called "in media res" - "in the middle of things." No explanation beforehand. The abrupt nature of the opening is engaging.
I imagined that Paul was being dragged down a darkened corridor, but the imagery wasn't presented. Setting is important, but don't overdo it. A good rule is "show, don't tell."
The dialogue is appropriate to the situation. No one is going to give long expository speeches in this event. However, your attributive phrases ("he shouted") need to be right after the dialogue, not at the start of a new paragraph. You might have been trying to emphasize the shouts by making them stand alone, but the physical appearance of the breaks is jarring.
After reading this, I was left asking whether this was the start of a continuing story. It seems like it. Otherwise, I wasn't left with a sense of resolution, of closure. The reader wants to know what happens next. That's a good thing, but the reader also wants to know when the story is finished.
I was confused by something: "Yep, defiantly fear there." I can see the purpose of "defiantly" here - but might you have meant "definitely"?
In all, a good first effort.