|Reviews for Newleaf|
| Doodling Shadows chapter 43 . 8/12/2013
Wow, it took me ten days to complete this story. :D
Though I'm not much an estatic reviewer on a complete story, I'll tell you my opinion of this great little series.
1) Newleaf's character is very admirable, drawing you in from the get-go. This also gives the telling of the story the same kind of feeling, since she is still only a kit.
2) The way you added your own content without disrupting the natural happenings, also putting it in a ShadowClan cat's POV, in Brokenstar's time, with three oc's to grow up with Littlecloud, kept a mysterious flow of "I know how the history goes, but how do these four kitten-warriors tell the tale and not affect things set in stone? Or how do they complete them?"
4) The plot of this story takes only a few moons, but yet, it seems much longer. And I love it when a story takes it's time. :3
3) It's an overall heroic story of kits, in bad times of hunger and famine. Along with humor and sarcasm. Who could NOT get involved in this?
And those are my reasons for reading this story. This was your first Fanfic, and I can't wait to get onto the next story.
| Moonbeam141 chapter 43 . 5/27/2013
Post it now!
| Woods Warrior chapter 7 . 4/22/2013
Personally, I think you're writing is pretty good. There are a few places where the grammar and spelling are wrong (i.e. Interrigation should be Interrogation), but other than that, it's pretty good. The fact you can do this in two hours, too, also amazes me (it takes me forever because I'm like "hmm...no that sucks *DELETE* start over..."). Something that helps me when I write is the words of some frontier author from the 1800s "Write drunk, edit sober". Don't necessarily get drunk, but if you get most of your inspiration at 3am when your falling asleep as you're typing, just type whatever comes out and don't pay any attention to the wording or anything; just get the idea down. Then you go back through in the morning and fix the mistakes, polish it up, add some extra stuff here and there, etc.
Also, I'm a new writer here, myself, and I completely understand the feeling of not having anybody critique your work. The only story I have is a one-shot that's been up for 6 months and has gotten 92 views; out of those views, there's only one review.
| guitarrawr1 chapter 2 . 2/10/2013
Hebe rereading it HI GUITARRAWR FROM THE PAST HI COURI FROM THE FUTURE O_O
| ha chapter 2 . 1/27/2013
hunderClan's hunting grounds." Anyway, who said that ShadowClan had the better territory? To Newpaw, any territory was as good as any other.
Not long after they'd seen the Thunderpath, Newpaw began to feel very tired. She was only a kit, for StarClan's sake! What could she do? She was panting with effort of keeping up now.
She wished she was still in the nursery. Dawncloud would feed her and her littermates some milk, and they'd all share a frog, and then she'd take a nap. Newpaw was almost falling asleep on her paws. Foxfur slowed as she looked at Newpaw over her shoulder. Foxfur worried about the small kit; wanted her to keep up, so she slowed the pace, and Newpaw was grateful for that.
Littlepaw was having trouble, too. Clawface snapped at him to keep up the pace. Littlepaw narrowed his eyes, his fluffy tabby fur bristling. He pushed himself harder, which Newpaw worried about. There was a limit to a kit's seemingly ceaseless energy.
She sped up, matching Littlepaw step for step. He was panting hard, and Newpaw frowned.
Foxfur skidded to a halt. "Stop. This is where we will cross the Thunderpath."
"We have to cross that?" Newpaw blurted out. It was wide expanse of stinky stone was filled with monsters. They'd all die before they left the verge.
"Things are not always what they seem," she growled. She pointed with her muzzle
| SailorOfStars chapter 1 . 1/18/2013
Ooh I just love that word, malevolently :D
This is your first fic? I find that hard to believe. The characters are IC, the plot is interesting, and the adjectives are not the overused ones (bad, said, boring stuff, y'know?) but they're still not the most complicated "What The Heck Does That Mean?" kind of words.
Good show *golf claps*
(And yes, I /will/ indeed press that blue button down there ohgodwhyamItalkingsofancyIdo n'tevenindeedohIloveythatwords odangmuchwhereisthisevengoin gohI'lljuststop)
| guitarrawr1 chapter 39 . 1/6/2013
OMG HE USED NEWLEAF AS A DISTRACTION TO GET DUSTPAW AWAY TO KILL BLUESTAR BUT CINDERPELT GOT CRIPPLED! !
| guitarrawr1 chapter 36 . 1/6/2013
You. .could have here Hugs newleaf. Plushis. I. Glad u diddny
| guitarrawr1 chapter 29 . 1/6/2013
I sometimes forget there still kits
| guitarrawr1 chapter 23 . 1/6/2013
I envy le. Fish hehehheh
| guitarrawr1 chapter 4 . 1/5/2013
Why is you name cquaris song (speled wrong spell check
| guitarrawr1 chapter 1 . 1/5/2013
The buttons not blue...
| Leopardsky chapter 41 . 12/12/2012
Ok so Bluestar didn't die this chapter, YAY! SequelYEA PLEASE! *Hastily presses next button* :D
| Leopardsky chapter 39 . 12/12/2012
Please PLEASE don't be Bluestar! *glances at the next button* don't die D:
| Leopardsky chapter 34 . 12/12/2012
Seeing as there's still like 12 more chapters I can read, I'm still going to predict. Will Newleaf, Littlecloud, and Darkwing join ThunderClan? It seems like it!
-Dapplepelt (once known as Clowy111)