|Reviews for From Dawn Till Dusk|
| Parker314 chapter 3 . 10/25/2010
Alright, read all three of them in one go. Interesting read as I'm writing a human to pokemon transformation too.
I liked what I've read so far but there are some things that I want to note.
First of all you sometimes forget or use wrong punctuation marks in your quotes. ("The hell if I know how to teach someone. I just did it no teaching to it," should be "The hell if I know how to teach someone. I just did it, no teaching to it.")
A second thing is that I find it a bit hard at times to see who is actually saying what. I don't really have an example to show where it's hard to follow a conversation.
There are a few spelling mistakes here and there, but nothing too bad. (e.g. 'He starred at me.') But it's really not too bad.
Do you have a betareader? That might help you get rid of small errors that you - as the writer of the story - might overlook. If you don't then I suggest you try and get someone to do it. Wish you good luck with that though, I've been looking for one myself for a while now without succes.
Keep this story going though, I like it ;)
| BreathlessCyan chapter 3 . 10/24/2010
K, so Kole will tell Lexi who she is as soon as Lexi found out that she died, though I'm sure Lexi already found out from the way she was crying before.
Kole seems much more serious, but you can still tell that it's the same boy who defended himself with a Houndour.
Good chapter, glad to see the update.
| srgeman chapter 3 . 10/24/2010
Loved the reference
| srgeman chapter 2 . 10/14/2010
So, Tyson is Tyson from the first story?
| BreathlessCyan chapter 2 . 10/13/2010
lol. Poor Sarah, four legs would be a pain. And the no-translation thing has got to be annoying, especially with Kole having to be the one to translate. I like these chapters a lot, they feel so fresh and new. Good job, can't wait to see more from you.
| pikachuhunter1 chapter 1 . 10/2/2010
Great start, Sana! Glad to see you over on the writing scene again.
It was very interesting, and descriptive. You're definitely getting better. Your grammar and usage are getting better as well, very few mistakes. Although, I would like to point out the consecutive problems, such as subject and verb agreement and starting with Mew as male and ending with him as an it.
Story-wise, it's very good, and you showed a lot of your style. Great job~ Hope you get to write more of it!
| srgeman chapter 1 . 9/29/2010
Alright, good start, easy to follow, Sarah is weird.
| BreathlessCyan chapter 1 . 9/29/2010
I like it, you've built it up well right away, and your character is nicely written. Now I understand what you were talking about when you asked what Pokemon, for her personality at least. It all depends if that was what you were talking about when you said it fit better. :P Anyway, good job, I can't wait until you show what her reaction will be to being a Pokemon.
| Johto Gunner chapter 1 . 9/28/2010
Well, well look who it is. Nice to have you back.
You know for some reason I always think you rush chapters... I don't know why... I guess I'm just tried or something...
I really do like it when Sarah had that fight with her mother about her career or her dreams. Adds a sense of realism... in a world where kids are killed and given a new life as Pokemon. P
I also like the playful Mew and how he never gives her a straight answer. Adds a sense of mystery.
Wonder what Pokemon she'll be...
Anywho, nice comeback. Looking forward to the next chapter!