good

What a beautiful story! Thank you for sharing it with us.

Teddy Lupin was born on April 11th 1998 and Remus Lupin was born on March 10th 1960

Kind of a letdown to be honest it started good but somehow it just dropped of a cliff, with Dialoge so cringe at times that i had to put the phone away in physical pain

Not a hate comment or anything like that.

It just my thoughts about this story and how I am feeling right now, when reading it.

First of all:

I like the idea that Mione and Ron left Harry. That are Aus that usually are pretty creative.

Key word usually.

Somehow your story went slowly up and suddenly pretty fast down.

This is no hate.

I somehow thought its going to stuck to the books, only without Hermiones clever brain, but it wasn’t what I expected ( which is good!)

Harry thinking about the fact that he relayed to much on Hermione and that he decided to care more about himself, was well done from you.

You let Harry study for himself and learn new spells.

But then everything fall down.

The unnecessary bashing of Hermione and Ron ( eventhough they were slightly , I am somehow sure its going to be worse)
In the books Ron said, he went immediately back, but Hermione and Harry decided to go. Hermione would never trust some stranger. She wouldn‘t drink or eat anything. She would have dragged Ron back immediately.

Both were just OOC and nit like always fun ti read

The lack of Ginnys reaction after her sa ( I thankfully never experienced such things, but I am pretty sure she would do anything, than what happened in the story.)

The lack of Harrys reaction, after killing two people.

Two people

.

He killed two people and then went bathing and kissing his girlfriend

Wtf?

The only good thing in this story is his Cat and the reaction of all the other people, after hearing about the trios fight.

Some Hinny scenes were just-

I can’t describe it.

Cringe?

Forced?

Uncomfortable?

—
I believe, that not every fanfiction writer needs to be the next CoHo, Jean Austen, Holly Black or who ever is populair now

This story has a good plot. I was reading until chap 10 bc of the plot.

It just the writing skill that need’s to be approved and worked better on.

I am pretty sure if you rewrite this story and think about the characters and their behavior and how to change their thoughts, so it would make for the reader some sense. This story would tuen out good!

Don‘t take it as hate, but as criticism.

Wow, Ron's a real POS.

After reading so many stories that feature a competent Harry, reading a fight where Harry basically acts like a 12 year old dueling for the first time is really fucking annoying. He exposes himself and ginny to an endless number of threats while accomplishing literally nothing. He breaks his dissilusionment to put out a fire? I get that you still needed him to somehow disarm Malfoy, but the scene is so fake and contrived that it kills the story for me. In any more realistic story, this would have a very dark ending. Canon Harry is so not fun to read about in fanfictions. Dumbledore's little bitchboy

Great story. Thanks for sharing it.

Quite awesome job

awww sweet! what a journey!

omg I was so scare you gonna kill off Fred as well

thank you, yes, finally, how could you ahahaha sorry kinda funny now, I mean not funny but yk

well at least he know, that's a start, from the Ron in here that is so little still tho, Harry literally already upfront with them sheesh

oooo I mean it's like Hermione gonna marry Justin so yea go ahead girl, everyone is kinda having fun rn that I'm scare it'll go downhill from here

ah shouldn't say lack of the trio but I guess the friendliness? the fondness? and Ron just... that part is a bit jarring for me probably cuz it's OOC, yes Ron is more or less like that but he's not gonna be this far gone