|Reviews for First and Last|
| ladyblanc chapter 1 . 7/18/2012
Owww... this is depressingly cute and sweet! Too bad that they can't be together, but really it's a rather sad fic! But overall I do enjoy reading it :)
| D chapter 1 . 10/11/2011
awww...how sad n sweet D i love the plot very much, and the idea is very fresh. DAww.. i loved the soup scene where Rukawa is feeding him and asks for him to get better so he can defeat him, durhurhur. If it had some tweaks (and a bit more information here and there) it wouldve been like perfect and really would've followed through with the atmosphere of the story. But ackk! it really is an awesome idea, wahh so sad xO
| Star7 chapter 1 . 10/2/2010
Uh ok - IGNORING the grammar (which was pretty appalling)...
...this was a highly emotional story. It's about love, death, pride, despair, drugs and utter mad abandon. Wow! What amazing subjects to explore.
It ought to have been packed full of words that reflected this. But instead the language was SO bland :(
Why didn't you tell us about the clock on Sendoh's wall ticking past the inevitable minutes like chains creaking on death's fingers? Tell us about his legs twisted and bandaged in blankets. Tell us how Rukawa appeared like a sprite, like a scaramouche, and made him beg and made him burn and made him hammer on the prison walls of his room and his mind.
Have him SCREAM and REEL in despair and in madness only to find himself so hopelessly in love with his tormentor.
I WANT TO SHAKE YOU until some real writing comes out of you!
I bet that this story was full and rich and dramatic and emotional in your mind just like a movie. The trouble is that you utterly failed to capture ANY of that on paper. Do your imagination some justice! DON'T JUST TELL US WHAT HAPPENED. Writing is an ART so approach it with respect.
PS I really loved the opening section where Sendoh's mind was on court but his body was in hospital.
PSS Cocaine is usually inhaled (snorted) or sometimes smoked. It's not "eaten".
PSSS be careful of throwing jokes in randomly. The thing with the lemon - that was so badly out of place I mean - the guy had just DIED for chrissakes!