Reviews for The Adventures of Mary Sue
Lexi chapter 1 . 12/15/2020
I know this is completely besides the point and that it was an anomaly, but I actually used to know someone who woke up every morning with their hair perfectly curled.
Keila chapter 26 . 2/21/2019
Noooo I need more OC tips! I know, it's been five years... But maybe? This has just been SO helpful, and I did skip a few chapters, so at least I have that. You're an inspiration to me and I will always remember the tips you've given me in this story. Thank you for everything.

-Keila

(Also, was your first game a Hoenn one? I kind of wondered, you made a lot of Hoenn references and this chapter made me wonder... Hoenn was my first game too, Omega Ruby. Again, thanks)
Keila chapter 11 . 2/18/2019
I love this chapter, but I have another thing to say:

THANK YOU FOR HAVING A MALE COORDINATOR (Donald and Feebas)

And it is so true do you know how many times my Gardevoir and I were defeated by the fricking Milotic in Omega Ruby? Contests are tough, man.
Keila chapter 10 . 2/18/2019
I really like Example #1 for a good OC, thank you for allowing others to use those examples! Example #2 is also really good!
Keila chapter 9 . 2/18/2019
This is what I always tell myself: Look, Keila, nobody wants to go through Ash's story again. "Oh boy, I'm so excited to travel with my new Pokémon! Gee, I sure wonder what Pokémon I'll get! I just can't wait! I'm gonna be the strongest trainer ever!" It's frickin boring. Thank you for writing this.
Keila chapter 4 . 2/18/2019
I.. Did not see that coming... And I loved it.
Keila chapter 3 . 2/18/2019
Okay, reading this in 2019 and not realizing when it came out is funny. I expected to see Nintendo Switch and IPhone X but instead I saw Wii Fit... But anyways, this is hilarious! I like how you're making it a into a learning experience as 's hard to believe that people actually have OC's like this... Bravo!
OddMeme104 chapter 4 . 10/25/2018
Here's how I think it happened: a Sue is basically a giant ball of perfection-and nobody is perfect-so what would happen if 2 balls of perfection coexisted in the same general place? Exactly. Nobody could bear the stress of 2 Sues. So the universe loaded its stress on both Sue and Sakura with a reality breaking paradox scenario. Sorry bout that wall of text there.
reppad98 chapter 26 . 10/7/2018
So, and I'm caught up again!
Self-inserts, oh, they are so difficult to do well. In Pokémon they're like OCs, Sues really, only the authors are a lot more touchy when criticism is involved. It's definitely wish fulfillment, which isn't always bad, but if you're writing for more people than yourself, then it's not always good storytelling. In other fandoms you often see that they save the day, become best friends with the main characters, sometimes kick out characters they don't like, and hook up with the character of their choice. I think the advice about how the OCs can get their Pokémon, by catching them in the area around their hometown, is pretty smart. It's a logical way to have a non-starter Pokémon, and I'm surprised not more people think of it. Sadly I don't read Mystery Dungeon and Pokémon Rangers fanfiction, so I don't know any fics for the next chapter... But if you ever decide to continue this, perhaps you could address creating a bond between Pokémon and character? Sometimes they're immediately friends, but I'd like some tips on how to create a realistic friendship between them.
Anyway, thank you for updating, I hope you will continue this, and keep writing!
reppad98 chapter 25 . 10/7/2018
So, I'm catching up with these chapters, almost there!
Jasmine's scene was amusing (if a bit disturbing) to read. She almost seemed to be a God Sue or maybe a Reality Warping Sue from the previous chapter haha. It was completely out of nowhere. But yes, she was definitely a Sue and completely out of character in that scene, completely the opposite really. And you nicely mentioned a common thing in Shipping fanfics, about romantic rivals. It seems to be a must to have a romantic rival in a romantic story, and they usually end up either left alone, in jail (as in the second scene) or paired off with someone else. I'm pretty sure I've seen that second scene or a variation thereof used to get a pairing together. Never quite as quickly as in your scene, but that was just to make a point. Nice chapter.
Thank you for updating, I'll read the next chapter soon, and keep writing!
reppad98 chapter 24 . 10/6/2018
Time for this chapter!
Ouch, God Sues, I've seen them a few times. I don't really read a lot of Original Character focused stories, so most of the time, I can avoid them. But sometimes I think I'm going to read a story about a canon character, and then suddenly an original character pops up and takes over the story and solves all the problems for the main characters (who suddenly aren't main characters anymore). And Reality Warp Sues... I don't think I've ever classified them differently than God Sues, but I can see the difference now. They still save the day and win everything, but they do so without extremely strong Pokémon but with 'normal' ones, and they do it in a slightly more normal time frame. I think it's a blurry line. Nice chapter.
Thank you for updating, I'll go read the next one, and keep writing!
reppad98 chapter 23 . 10/6/2018
Time for this chapter!
Oh, this was a really good one. I noticed in the previous chapter that you were mentioning a lot of habits and quirks and stuff like that and that it was getting a little much, but I knew you were just doing that to make a point. But I really liked this chapter and it was quite useful to me too. While I don't exactly consider myself a beginner anymore, I definitely still have much to learn. I don't write OC's often, and if I do, they're not the main characters of the story, so most of the chapters of this story aren't quite for me (but still enjoyable, of course), but I think I can do something with this chapter. The bad example was also very amusing. It was exhausting to read, but the ending was funny, with how none of the starters were violet haha.
Thank you for updating, I'll go read the next chapter, and keep writing!
reppad98 chapter 22 . 10/6/2018
Hm, I read and followed this story years ago, but for some reason I never read the last few chapters haha. Well, time to fix that now! I reread the whole story and now it's time to start with the new ones.
This was an interesting chapter, and I think it showed well how to write a well rounded character. It's also a bit broader than that, to give them more personality than just nice and honest, or mischievous and funny, by giving them little details that are easily forgettable yet still obviously part of their personality. I mean, whether they bite nails or not is hardly important to the plot, but it gives a character more depth and it's something to mention and can be used to show how they're feeling. I also like that you mention verbal tics like catchphrases, I think those are quite prevalent in most cartoons/anime series so it's a good thing that they're mentioned here.
Thank you for updating, I'll go read the next chapter now, and keep writing!
Axel Schaudenfreude chapter 26 . 7/6/2018
Excellent advice, really helps a writer define their characters.
KawaiiGroovycat chapter 9 . 1/4/2018
Take a shot every time you see the word "excited" in this chapter. You'll be drunk almost immediately.
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