|Reviews for La Mort D'Enfant|
| Shinzhon chapter 1 . 11/17/2012
"She could see him reliving it, again and again and then some. He jerked forward in unconscious reflex, hit by the same bullet, betrayed by the same friend, dying in his mind more times than his body could ever bear."
That part.. My godness, I can only imagine what pain it could be, feeling again and again the same treason.. Great OS !
| Icicle Streams chapter 1 . 10/5/2010
I love the detailed descriptions you've put in; I often find that people neglect good grammar and descriptions, but you're done great.
It was a little bit confusing sometimes (I wasn't really sure if Baralai was talking out loud in his sleep at first, but that might just be me getting confused) but that seemed to fit, since Baralai's confused and on meds, while Paine has no idea what's happening.
| Danko Kaji chapter 1 . 10/4/2010
The first thing I'd like to ask: What does the title mean? (don't get me wrong, I love the lyrical quality of it. :3)
Love the foreshadowing quotes, from Baralai, and I adore the tragic irony of machina sustaining his life (multiple times as Rin has clarified, but what was the lie Paine saw exactly?)
Baralai's nightmare, the chilly horror, the dreadful misinterpretation, I loved that entire paragraph.
"Standing over his own body, leering down, self loathing and tormenting anguish boiled over into bitter strength. The only thing left. The man that lay there was now unfit to live what was left; too weak and giving and naïve. And he was all that was left to carry out the rest." - That entire bit equals love.
You don't have to turn this one-shot into a multi-chap. It's fine on it's own. But I have a question about your Author Notes. What exactly could have been an oversight, Rin neglecting to tell Gippal about Paine? Or Gippal noticing there was an extra victim?
To summarize this entire review, excellent job! Flirting with canon, we can always humor imagination. :3