Reviews for Masquerade
What'sMyName'sBusiness chapter 14 . 3/16/2011
Now I'm really, really confused. ;_;

And that's all I can really say.

Alois is just so desperate, it kills me. It makes me cry. And it's funny how he doesn't even realize his love for her, or he does and he's vividly denying it.

You nailed the depressing right on. With a bit of creepiness of him curling up to a dead body. I call it sweet here, but in real life, that would be really creepy. I'm wondering, does she come back? Or is she dead forever to be in Hannah's stomach along with Luka? (For some reason the makes me laugh. ;_; I've gone insane...!) I want Alois to have a happy ending. I don't want him to diiiie. I love him too much to watch him die over and over, again.

I hate Claude. Not even reacting to his master's pain. But it's Claude, so...I still hate him. He's Claude. I don't even like his name, 'Claude'. What a weird name. (lol sorry for this. I like to ramble on my hate of him a lot. ")

Hmm. Hannah, what could the other part of the contract be...? I'm curious. If there were any hints to it, I didn't catch them, soooo...yeah. Dying of curiosity here. Can't wait till the next update so I can find out~ That is, if we find out in the next chapter. If we don't...I could quite possibly kill you. ...Joking. ...Maybe.

But yes! Can't wait for the next chapter!

-

Whatzibit
memessa chapter 14 . 3/16/2011
W-WHAT? She dies like that? The heroine just dies? NOOOOOOOOO! TTTT I was actually crying... BUT WAIT! There's moar! I must see the rest! ;)
ShamelesslyUsed chapter 14 . 3/16/2011
*Slaps cheeks with wide eyes* Noooooooo Remy! D: A-and Alois... waaaah! That was really depressing _; Please update soon!
reira-sama chapter 14 . 3/16/2011
i finally made an account ! but for some reason i couldn't use my original pen name reira-chan! T~T so i chose reira-sama! :D anyway...REMY! T~T *sniff* she died! poor alois! i hope remy comes back to life or something! this chapter made me sad :'( but it was pretty awesome! update soon! :D 3
Hapi chapter 14 . 3/16/2011
Oh my! That was an interesting turn of events. I've always had the feeling that Remy was going to die and I've always had the assumption that it would be near the ending. What a surprise, though, to see that she has already left at this point of the story. I'm also quite intrigued as to what were the specific terms of the contract she and Hannah shared; I'm beginning to get suspicious based on what just happened.

I think the worst part is that Remy is Alois' first love. I mean, she has to be, right? Why else would he be that upset? Granted, their relationship was from from being sane, but it was there.

As I was reading this chapter, incidentally, I was also listening to The Slightly Chipped Full Moon from the soundtrack of Kuroshitsuji II. That was a huge mistake. Though I can feel the atmosphere, I'm usually unfazed whenever I read things that contain elements that would induce depression. But when I read this while hearing the sad melody play in the background, you can imagine just how upset I really was. I started remembering what Alois felt when he lost his brother. To experience that all over again, to relive the pain, to see another dear person disappear in the same way as the previous one did...

I didn't actually cry because I felt that this wasn't the end, but you really had me there.

Even though I hated his guts in the series, the lack of Claude seems to bother me a little. Perhaps...a bit more of him? Other than that, however, you're doing great and I can really see just how dedicated you are to this story. And nothing beats a passionate writer.

Kudos to another great chapter! _
PhoenixRage92 chapter 14 . 3/16/2011
Noooo! Remy! :(
AznLee chapter 14 . 3/16/2011
I forgot what her revenge was and what does it have to do with killing Claude... Damn, this is complicated
Queencloud2443 chapter 14 . 3/16/2011
I love this story!

When I was reading about alois's reaction and then till the end I was soo close to crying, I mean the tears were welling up and OMG I has butterflys in my stomach the whole time.

Please update!

I wanna know what happens next!
LuNa6780 chapter 14 . 3/15/2011
Whhhat? Remy's dead? Nooo! Well no wonder the genre was tragedy but still... No! *draws out pitchfork* it's supposed to be an AloisxOC fic. It can't be if one of the two is dead (lol) Anyways, update!

~LuNa6780
Guest chapter 14 . 3/15/2011
Aweeeeeee. Is it pretty much over now?
Hapi chapter 13 . 3/15/2011
Goodness, I practically wrote an informative essay for this fic earlier today and yet I completely forgot to squeeze the constructive criticism. Silly me.

Well, I can't really say anything negative about this fic as of now because it's making good progress. BUT I would want you to frequently catch your readers off-guard in a way that would certainly make them itch for more. You're already doing it, actually. But what I'm looking for is something more powerful than that. Although I do get the feeling that you're putting that aside for the climax of this story.
Hapi chapter 13 . 3/15/2011
I have to be honest: I really had a lot of doubts when I first saw this story. Don't worry, this doesn't concern your way of writing. Just by reading the summary of Masquerade, I could already tell that you had a great grasp with the English language. And I loved that fact.

No, the second thoughts mostly came when I saw that this was an OC story. See, I've been reading a lot of fanfiction ever since I hit puberty. Initially, I adored those silly, hyper and completely cheesy fics; I ignored the grammatical errors, the OOC-ness, the Mary-Sues and the outrageous yet completely cliched plots for I really had no taste back then. I read them and stories similar to them that gradually, I began getting sick of them. Then, one day, I decided to stop reading OC fics because they never really passed my standards. I know this wasn't a good thing for I know not everyone is perfect, but it just happened.

Yesterday, I finished Kuroshitsuji II and I was totally awestruck by Alois' character that I just had to go to and read fics about him. Then I ran across Masquerade and I thought the summary was really good. The doubt was there, of course, but then I thought, "Surprise me...".

And surprised, indeed I was.

Remy is...a very interesting protagonist. I admit that I sort of quirked an eyebrow when they first met. I already had the urge to press the back button but I stopped myself and simply kept reading and reading and...just wow. You're really talented. I mean, you really gave the character a solid personality. Remy's not loud or brash or remotely impulsive, but she's not predictable either. She has that depth that I really like. She really stands out as a character because she's different. She's mature, quiet...intelligent. And she just gives off this mysterious vibe which makes her all the more likable.

Your Alois is also another issue I want to discuss; I don't know how you did it, but you certainly characterized him just the way he was in the series. You got him right from his interesting choice of words, down to his deranged behavior. You make him do acts that he would typically do. But the great thing is that you don't overdo it; you don't make him so despicable that the reader would just want to stop. You show them his weaknesses.

The story also has a great flow. I don't know if people would agree with this for I know we all have different opinions; some people want it to go faster while others want it to go slower. The atmosphere is just right. The humor is even better because there's also some angst in the story.

I'm really looking forward to this fic. I really want to see where it will go. It's just so dang promising and it's one of the few fics that has captivated me. You're a talented writer who is great at what she's doing, so all I can say now is...keep up the good work. _

Much love,

Hapi

P.S.

I'm sorry if it was really long. I initially planned to make this review short but when I started, the words just kept on going. Ahem, sorry about that. _
jade23741 chapter 13 . 3/8/2011
uppaaddtteee

update

update

upadte!
PurPle turtle chapter 13 . 2/27/2011
Wow... What are you? A god? You're amazing!

UPdate soon please!
PurPle turtle chapter 13 . 2/27/2011
Wow... What are you? A god? You're amazing!

U
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