Reviews for Nightmare
homsar955 chapter 1 . 8/9/2012
*sobs* No! Oh god, I know what happens next! Dx
I feel like this is way more tragic since I read all there was first, then feeding a dream, and finally this one. Atleast I completely understand now. Oh, that bitch... Well atleast ritsu taught her a lesson :)
Dark.Dragon.7 chapter 1 . 3/12/2011
hoo my god! I feel like i'm in Silent Hill! Great Fic! The devil twin...ho my... I really feel the despair of yui...the horror... Great!
Some1Else chapter 1 . 10/23/2010
While your humor is good, your darker stories are much better. Yui's nightmare was constructed rather well. If only it had been a dream. What happens to her is terrible, which makes the story even stronger. I wonder what the reason was behind her fetch quest to retrieve that box. I figured that in dreams, some things don't make sense. That's probably the point and it works rather well. I also wondered if she ever manages to escape, but I think I know the answer to that.

This is creepy, sad, and more than a few steps above another cookie-cutter yuri fic. One could almost say it's like Silent Hill, but I believe that would be selling you short. If you're looking into doing original fiction, I'd say you're more than qualified to write an interesting horror story.

Good work.
majestic mucus chapter 1 . 10/10/2010
I definitely think you've managed to incorporate that slightly surreal, slightly macabre atmosphere of a nightmare. I didn't read it at night, sadly, but Tim Burton's Sweeney Todd was playing in the background and the soundtrack helped bring that chill that the lack of darkness couldn't hehe.

That feeling, paired with the plot of your story and the words you chose to paint it made for a very enjoyable read, so thanks for that. I felt the hairs on the back of my neck rise.

On a different note... you listen to Tool? That's awesome. The people in my vincinity are unable to understand it's genius, they think their tracks are long and weird or boring. The poor fools.

Sorry for the lenghty review :P
MisterYada chapter 1 . 10/7/2010
I think I might actually have goosebumps. This story had a quality of the movie The Unborn only... better. And no happy ending. That's the best kind, in my opinion.

Good placement on the Rotting Christ lyrics. I tried to translate them, but all the free sites suck. The most I got out of it was the last part, which I'm certain was "Hail satan."
Elias Pedro chapter 1 . 10/7/2010
A riveting story to say the least. Tasty, you have quite the literary skill and a wide, not to mention scary, imagination that drew me in from the moment the story started. Made me wish I didn't have a twin brother or sister that was, you know.

I'm not exactly a horror fan, nor am I normally receptive to demonic stuff and the inherent darkness of the human subconsious but I thoroughly enjoyed this one. I just came from a Literature class talking about subconscious and whatnot, so perfect timing.

Stylistically, the story flows in a strange way which is perfect for the theme and message of the thing as a whole. I wasn't scared of the goings on but was rather abhorred by the mere thought of them and that's a really good thing. It means you told an eerie story eerily well - what else could you ask for in a horror/supernatural? And good work on totally diffusing the cuteness that generally comes with K-ON. Making an effective story of this genre out of a moeblob takes skill, and you sir, have it.

That's all for now, and keep writing. "In nomine satani" huh..., dreaming in latin is something else. Best of luck to you. Habeas lucem fortem.
RedSilverK chapter 1 . 10/7/2010
Truth to be told, while reading this I had the distinct impression that it was just the start of a tale in which Yui has to battle through the evil forces of the nightmare and save Ui from her evil dead twin, all in time for Mugi's afternoon cake.

My fault entirely for not reading the 'Complete' label at the top. It did not detract from the enjoyment though.

With that in mind, the scary parts were probably a little lost at first. Still, thinking back about what transpired does give me the chills. A rereading at night will probably be in order to bring in the creepy-factor full force.

Yui retained her Yui-ness in her dialogue and thoughts, even in such an outlandish situation. Props for that.

Looking forward to more stories.
ParadoxBattleZone chapter 1 . 10/6/2010
Wow, this was awesome! I'm not usually a reader of horror, but this was incredibly well done. Keep up the good work!
11133322 chapter 1 . 10/6/2010
just when I was at the end and wanted to comment about the absence of metal-references, I remembered Rotting Christ..

(yeah, reference-spotting has become a game for me when reading your stories, funny how that works).

The scenario idea was engaging, and once again kudos for doing something that's outside the box for K-On fanfic! Did you happen to watch some japanese horror movies before going to bed ? Because this kind of plot is fairly par for the course there, I've seen some variations of it. So yah as soon as the elements were in place I could guess where this was going, and it was a good read still, the plot idea was well executed and the scene writing really transmitted the intended eerie atmosphere. If I had to say how it could be improved (it's a finished oneshot anyway), maybe the true nature of (dark) Ui could've been kept vague for longer suspense, like you started with the more ambiguous Ui before she went fully malevolent after Yui got the convenient info-dump from the mother-flashback (I imagine how the story would go if Ui kept up the sympathetic charade longer, having both of them work on a way out of the nightmare while Yui picks up the true clues along the way). But then again, my tastes in horror run more along the lines of what is called "psychological" than lets say gore/monsters/zombies etc, I like it when things are implied rather than spelled out.

Writing "dreams" is hard. Not because of not violating continuity, but knowing especially when and how to violate it (which is what gives dreams their actual dream-like quality), because while dreams don't follow the causality of the material world, they still have an "internal" logical consistency. You demonstrated some of that well with subtle things like the matchlight that didn't extinguish etc, so don't worry about any "errors" or "holes", they are appreciated. Really, the only thing that made me slightly go out of the immersion were the allusions to satan/hell (nothing too glaringly overt, but could've been more ambiguously suspenseful instead of going for the 'obious scary'), just because it made me wonder for a second why that's used for a japanese girl, but then again you can always claim henotheism..

Not much to say about characterization, it's not that kind of plot anyway, and Yui behaved appropriately for the plot (and because of the kind of show K-On is, we've never seen her terrified behavior anyway), her Yui-ness came through without any out-of-place antics. Also no problems with your OC Ui, if you were going for a creepy character you succeeded. Personally I don't like how most villains are written anyway (usually onesided cartoonish evil, whereas in real life the "bad" guys are much more multidimensional - which is actually more creepy, if you really think about it), so it's actually a compliment when I don't have much to complain about, except maybe at the end it went slightly too far when she was mighty pissed at (real) Ui for seemingly nothing else than the grievous offense of "having her name". For a body-switching scenario I think it would be more impactful if she was enjoying herself with Ui while the real Yui rots away.

Anyway, again a good story, on its own and especially in K-On where most stories are more concerned with pairing up Ritsu and Mio (because all the cool people know YuiAzu is way more awesome, heh..) your originality is much appreciated, and it would be a loss if (as I've read) your next story will be your last for K-On. How come ? Drop me a message if you want to talk about it. Or I will, if you need some more pep-talk Cheers!

-Ail
Hydrangea12 chapter 1 . 10/6/2010
Aaaaargggh... The story really intriguing! I love the vivid dark scene... *instant fave!*
Condor green chapter 1 . 10/6/2010
Unfortunatley my review won't be as cool as this story.

Still, it was pretty kickass and I truly enjoyed it.

Now I am going to go read something light and fluffy to keep the bad thoughts away.

Hope to see more.

Condor
BuRiChiFaN chapter 1 . 10/6/2010
*shudders* man,this is the first time i really got terrified with a fic..it's akin to a true-to-life nightmare..you definitely succeed on creeping the hell out of me..i swear, i had goosebumps.. tsk! tsk! poor yui and the real ui.. i'd better kill myself if i were yui..geeh..creepy
Sturmgeschuts chapter 1 . 10/6/2010
I remember once stating that someone would suffer a total systems failure if they tried to recreate your works...This is just proof.

Tasty, your ability to shock and terrify the audience is something to be held in awe. I can understand how this is based on nightmares...because I think I'll be getting them for awhile.

All in all, you have once again scared the crap out of me.

Well done!

-Sturm